A little support

So I first joined this forum many years ago, and dipped in and out and then have left for a while. So I feel a bit cheeky coming to you all now, but something has happened and I had a thought of this forum and thought maybe it is something I can talk to you all about. I hope this is ok.

I have a belief that we come into the world to learn a lesson an d grow spiritually and we may have many lives to continue to grow. I have a son of nearly 5 and last year I became pregnant with baby number two. I was drawn to read Tenth Insight and felt it so right at the time. My baby was diagnosed with a certain condition during pregnancy and after he was born he was diagnosed with a 'life limiting condition'. He dies 2 weeks ago at nearly 6 months old. He was a bright soul and people fell in love with him the moment they met him, he was an amazing person. The last few months he would fix me with this hypnotising look, I got lost in his eyes. His brother and his father loved him so much, it was like he drew love to him.

His eyes were such a deep blue and so big in his little face.

I am trying to make sense of things.

When I was pregnant I had this dark feeling this sense of something not right - with my first boy when I knew I was pregnant it was all joy and dance with Bryn, it was so different. It has been a fight to prevent over medicalisation during and after his birth and through pregnancy.

We knew we had a short time with him and we made the most - he would often have seizures, stop breathing and I remember when he was brand new with us, standing giving him oxygen that there would be a time when I would know that it was the end of this journey for him and I would have to let him go - I have cried so much this last year. And on the day he died I knew when he stopped breathing that that was it, it didn't stop the sense of hopelessness though.

And I feel quite profound - yes I am still angry and terribly sad and miss holding him in my arms and smelling his scent and hearing his voice.

Some words I read in Matt's thread have helped , but I guess I am reaching ou to people who may understand and help guide me through all this, it seems so utterly rotten for this to have happened to us and I guess everyone who has a loss wants to try and work through this maze of grief, why people are sent to earth for such a short time, but cause such love to happen.

Oh please excuse my typing , I am not sure what I am asking for - I am just drawn to be here and try andmake sense of it all.

[Belle]

Dear SearchingGirl

I haven't got children, nor will I ever have them but I do know that to lose your child is the most terrible thing you can confront. You will always love your child and he will always love you. It's really hard to try and fathom sense in it all.

I can't understand but I will remember you and your darling little boy in my prayers and please continue to chat about him.

[onetruebeliever]

Oh, I'm so, so sorry. Please accept my profound sympathies. I cannot imagine losing one of my boys. Keep talking about your little guy. Talking about him may help you make sense. You are very blessed to have had him even for a short time. I cannot understand your pain, but know that I am thinking of your family.

[Lynn]

Hello

Maybe I can offer something from the view in the work that I at times am called to do as a medium. We are at times given those lessons but I do not feel that is what they are, more they are blessings we are given. While there is great pain at the loss of anyone and more so a child we as beings of Light are here to experience the good times and the not so good times being human has to offer our Soul.

There are times when we come into a life and that life is such a struggle that we do not stay long in it, but we do pass on many blessings in what we might have offered in learning for others. It might well be something a Dr learns that advances future medical care at times or something we learn about our self that moves us along our life path to something greater.

There are many times when even an infant knows well they are not here for long, but they have that need for that experience.

Talking things out helps the most with any loss. I am truly sorry for one's loss....

Lynn

[moonincancer]

I am very sorry. I do feel that the love you have shared is eternal. It never dies
Do speak of him

[Dragonfly1]

My heart goes out to you and I understand the pain you are feeling.....your beautiful baby, I feel came to give your family something beautiful, and had chosen to leave, even though he was here for such a short time...Lynn has said it very eloquently and how I believe (know) things happen.....His little soul came as a gift to you and your husband and family....many many blessings to you and your family sent with much care and understanding in your time of loss......xxo

thank you Lynn, yes that is what I feel, I keep trying to type a reply but the words aren't right. He has left a lot, I hope we gave him enough.

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by SearchingGirl

thank you Lynn, yes that is what I feel, I keep trying to type a reply but the words aren't right. He has left a lot, I hope we gave him enough.

Hello

Just being here and putting out a thread is saying enough for it to be heard on the other side. That is all we ever truly need to do is just put things out to the Universe. The rest is healing for us and there we get a lot of help too.

Time is a wonderful thing to help us heal and to hold fast the memories that are precious to us.

Lynn

http://www.grievingparents.com/Resources.html

My heartfelt condolences ...
I hope the link above helps in your journey through grief ...
Sending healing energy to you & yours ...

Originally Posted by SearchingGirl

Some words I read in Matt's thread have helped , but I guess I am reaching ou to people who may understand and help guide me through all this, it seems so utterly rotten for this to have happened to us and I guess everyone who has a loss wants to try and work through this maze of grief, why people are sent to earth for such a short time, but cause such love to happen.

Oh please excuse my typing , I am not sure what I am asking for - I am just drawn to be here and try andmake sense of it all.

My sincere condolences, there's little anyone can say at a time like this.

My daughter cam to me one day and said "Who's William?" I knew straight away who she was asking about but I wanted to know what was in her head, so I asked her what she had. She'd been hearing a boy's voice in her head and seeing fleeting shadows in the corner of her eye, she'd also been feeling someone beside her in quiet times and had been dreaming about a young lad - she was able to describe him in detail. She's her father's daughter and she has some natural medium abilities. I told her the story of how her mother had had an abortion when she was younger, she remembered the time. Her mother couldn't have coped with the pregnancy because of health reasons. William was a frequent visitor to us (I had separated from her mother by this time and was living with someone else) and is a bit of a rocker. We both sat bawling our eyes out. William still visits his sister and she often says she's felt him close.

As humans sometimes we have a very limited picture of the Universe and all of its contents, the earth isn't so much flat as slightly curved. All William needed to do was make the connection in this Life, that was enough for now. There will come a time for everyone, a day when Loved Ones are reunited and this Life will be forgotten about. The only thing that will matter is that we're all together again where we should be. But often we forget the strongest connection that could possibly exist, one that spans time and generations. We can't see it sometimes because we can't see the earth is round, all we have is the all-encompassing grief of loss. Love is the tie that binds, that connects us all and as long as there is Love there is at least something. There is never nothing.

Your Love is obviously strong, just allow it to carry you through. As long as you have him in your Heart he's not so far away after all.