Help With My Marriage Please

[Bsoul]

I popped back in to read again. I hope all is well today! Hope33, you are so correct in observing that feelings of unworthiness and self loathing are the driving forces of an awful cycle. It's great to see people recognize this. That recognition is the first step to breaking that cycle. My thoughts are still with you and your lady, Green Tree. A big spiritual hug to you both!

[Mr Interesting]

I've found that when we achieve a certain amount of our abilities in a spiritual sense it's not unreasonable to expect the rest of the world to hurry up and join us in this wonderful new world that we've found... but it never works out that way, and if anything, the more we try and promote what we've found the more resistance we feel from the world to come join us.

But eventually we kinda realise that it is actually unreasonable to expect others to join us the way we might think they should simply because it has nothing to do with joining us and everything, in my opinion, about us just doing our best and expecting NOTHING in return.

And it's not that we learn to swallow our pride, grin and bear it, and all those other coping mechanisms that aid in our lofty views of ourselves, but that we realise that true humility is only about the giving and the recieving within ourselves... that we honour that focus and let it be whatever it will be.

[Bsoul]

Well said Mr Interesting!

[Green Tree]

@Mister Interesting...

I've taken your input under the advisement that it's for entertainment purposes only

I went through a phase a few years ago where I did exactly what you said, in that I was anxious for her to "come along". I put my poor wife through the ringer before I figured it out, and eventually, after seeing the harm that my pressing had caused her, I apologized and backed way off. It did in fact cause the resistance of which you spoke.

The second part is a bit more difficult, of course. Self-work is the most excruciating and simultaneously rewarding process I have ever undergone, and your invitation to revisit that effort more intently is timely and greatly appreciated. Thank you.

The overwhelming sense I'm getting from having read the many responses in this thread is that I need to be considerate of my wife in ways that I hadn't previously envisioned, and that she may be intimidated by my manner and approach (DUH! Who'da thunk?). I confess that I needed these loving reminders to break free of my own ill-perceived ideas and ways, and to snap out of my own head (the very trait I've scorned in her). Thank you all so much for your kind words and the love they genuinely express. Sincerely.

(GIANT group hug)

GT

[Green Tree]

Originally Posted by Bsoul

Well said Mr Interesting!

Well said indeed!

[Bsoul]

Thanks for coming back to this Green Tree! We learn more everyday don't we?