Impressions about this card

[muileag]

I haven't done a tarot reading for myself for a few months (I only dabble and definitely rely on my intuition) but I felt prompted earlier to pull a card to ask about the energy surrounding my current situation. I'm so closely involved that I worried I can't be objective enough, so I would appreciate your input...thanks!

Briefly: the last four years of my marriage have been beyond difficult; the last two have been a legal marriage only. My husband has a lot of fear and anger. I can no longer take that energy in. We go days at a time not even talking. Then he will have a blow up. Then we will go a week without communicating. Anyway, he has said over and over the past two years that he doesn't want to get divorced, but that he wishes he didn't get married to me. (He loves me; he doesn't love my extended family and obligations and the fact that I want to move back to my home state to oversee the care of my brother who is in a group home.) So last spring we just said the words..."If it's not going to ever get better, let's just split up." Which we decided on. It is a complicated situation, though. And nothing will be done legally until over this year.

My question is regarding the card I just pulled and the interpretation of it. I wanted confirmation that I'm making the right decision, and the card I got was the #6 major arcana -- The Lovers. My internal struggle is letting go of a dream. The past two years I've kept hoping, "But maybe things will turn around. Maybe he will be happy and then we can be happy." But it never happens. I really don't like the death of my dream, but I'm also too far along that I can't live with anger and unhappiness all the time.

Thanks for sharing any of your impressions

I do not read tarot, I'll make that clear. But the feeling I get when reading this and reading about those cards is this...

You created this world in which you wanted to live in; husband and wife, marriage, whatever it was. And something is now pushing you out of that world into something new and more real and what you are meant to do. I have the distinctive feeling you have stayed in your created world too long already and that is why you are receiving this push.

Some quotes that speak to me on this...

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. "

"Worlds self made are so full of monsters and demons."

I think you need to trust the path you are on, and if that path is leading you to end the relationship, I would move forward instead of standing still.

You are a wonderful person muileag...trust that and trust that there are still great worlds and things out there for you.

The Lovers is very appropriate to your situation because it tells of choices in matters of the heart. Any relationship which is deemed *important* is signified by this card. It reflects your feelings towards the relationship, it shows the connection you feel towards your partner. And often tells of an interaction predominantly based on sexual attraction. The woman looking toward the angel on my cards may suggest that in a relationship one may desire a more spiritual union rather than a physical one. Equally the man looking only toward woman (in the card picture) may suggest that his concerns are only those of physical attraction with little interest of a deeper relationship, and so, there is the need to be honest in your relationship and to clearly communicate your expectations.

[muileag]

Thanks for your comments Tara and Bellia.
Tara, I think your intuition is spot on! I really appreciate your quotes and loving words of encouragement.
Bellia, the "sexual attraction" died out a few years ago. Well, maybe not the attraction, but the interaction did! You mentioned communication, which has deteriorated to the point where there's none...which is the problem.

I recently ended a relationship myself with someone who was heading in a totally different life direction to me. Despite the fact that it was sometimes an abusive environment, I chose to stay because I did not want to let go of the future we had planned. He became jealous and possessive and after 3 years I took the decision to leave.

When something no longer serves to make you grow (as a person) or to make you happy, then have the self respect to walk away. You deserve to be with someone who loves and cherishes you.

:)

[muileag]

Originally Posted by Bellia Morgana

I recently ended a relationship myself with someone who was heading in a totally different life direction to me. Despite the fact that it was sometimes an abusive environment, I chose to stay because I did not want to let go of the future we had planned. He became jealous and possessive and after 3 years I took the decision to leave.

When something no longer serves to make you grow (as a person) or to make you happy, then have the self respect to walk away. You deserve to be with someone who loves and cherishes you.

:)

Or to be by myself in peace! Every day the universe drops so many "gifts" in my lap which I'm grateful for. Perhaps some day I will have a long-term relationship, but right now I'm focusing on myself!

I also chose to stay these last two years even though there has been no mutual joy, and in fact, a lot of psychological "discomfort." Focusing on work and family has made it easier to ignore the inevitable. The strange thing is, I have been completely stripped down in this relationship...and that's a good thing! I've come out so much stronger and happier! I know that we were meant to be together for that, and I appreciate it. The thing is, there's been no growth on his part (and that is a subjective judgement I know) and it kills me that he isn't happy within himself. I truly think that we were meant to grow into our own through our interactions and if that had happened, we probably would have been very happy.

[Kaere]

I agree with what others have said and would also like to add... The Lovers is a card about decisions as well as matters of the heart. You can see that reflected in the 'two' of them... two directions, you will be choosing. Also, just because the potential for something is there, you still have to go through the motions to make it happen.

[muileag]

Originally Posted by Kaere

I agree with what others have said and would also like to add... The Lovers is a card about decisions as well as matters of the heart. You can see that reflected in the 'two' of them... two directions, you will be choosing. Also, just because the potential for something is there, you still have to go through the motions to make it happen.

That was my impression when I pulled the card -- we made the decision, now I have to put it in motion. I know it's the right way forward, even though it makes me sad!

You cannot be responsible for someone elses happiness. When I left my ex partner, I just wanted to be by myself too after the constant dramas. I swore I would never get into another relationship again, but as the months go by, I am beginning to find the person I used to be again. Bit by bit I am coming to life, I'm not actively looking for another relationship but I have started to feel attracted to other guys (from a distance)

It's great that you are able to take the positive from a situation that clearly hurts you (deep down) but you sound as though your mind is made up. I wish you luck and bright blessings in your new direction :)

The Lovers showing to me, says perhaps take one last effort toward counseling to see if anything can be salvaged. Even if it doesnt work, you can say you did your best to make it work. So I would perhaps consider this, if he is willing.