There is no darkness to dark for God.

I am currently experiencing difficult times, but I am not claiming a religion; however, I know that there is a God and angels or spirits among us; they both come in good and bad forms. I admit I have done some pretty stupid things to myself and not to other people. I have always tried to do people right. It seems as though I am the one that always gets done dirty in the end, but yet I strive to keep honest to other people even right now.

Right now, I have nothing; I have literally lost everything within a year time period. I mean everything; my car, my house, my wife, my kids, the place I call him is coming to an end the 30th of this month. I am not going to go deep into details; I was in the military for 7 years and 3 months. I went overseas and fought in a foreign war. Operation Enduring Freedom. I returned and now have medical problems with my back. I was medically discharged from the Marine Corps. 11/29/2009. I wasn’t ready for the change that was about to occur. I made bad choices and some of it wasn’t my fault either, but is what I am getting at is back in my youth I was a young man that looked to God in everything that I tried to do. After joining the military I stopped going to church and started living life. The wrong life. The party life. Im young. I am 27, but the more I was partying the further away I was drifting from the Lord and God. So it hurts to talk about it; even now, I went wrong and today I am suffering the consequences. I don’t have a thing in my life. I mean nothing and when I hit rock bottom is when God caught this soul falling. His grace let me go but his love, mercy, and strength will carry me through. I have tears rolling down my cheek now.

The pain is fresh and this life we live is real. I have always struggled with why don’t God just show us he exists. It would be so easier if He would only do that! Well the truth is He isn’t. Not the way we want to see him! He will in other ways show us His existence and presence in His strength and wisdom through the trials and tribulations we go through. A couple of things that have always stuck with me in life is God is always on time and no matter what we go through in life it will always be for the good, no matter how bad it is, for those that truly love God. That’s God’s message to us if we choose to see this world in His eyes, which brings me to where I am today.

I choose to view things this way, even though difficult, as to what message he is trying to give to me. His message arrived to me. All the things I have been going through was God trying to nudge me back in the right direction. (Psalm 23) I have ignored everything! Even the blessings he sent to me, I took for granted. I didn’t see it at the time. I was to wrapped up in this living life as someone I wasn’t meant to be. It took me loosing all those blessings for me to understand God was teaching me about who I really was being and who I am really meant to be, but when I needed answers God was there to speak to me, even in my life’s darkest hours. His grace that let me fall is the same grace that caught me before I was defeated. I hit bottom and His grace saved me from death.

No matter how dark of a world we are living in, God is still in control; there is no darkness that’s too dark for God. When my world crumbled around me, I didn’t understand why this happened. I know now that I built my life on dirt and not on God’s foundation. Meaning I built it. We are free to choose and do what we want in this life, but God will do what is necessary to guide us back to His plan for our lives. Even though we may not like it, He gets the big picture and does what is best for us even when our plan’s conflict one another. We have no understanding but God understands all. I wanna put my trust back into God but now it seems like I am so scared of letting go. I don’t know why but I am! I think that it is just the darkness that I have encountered that has scared my flesh and has me so confused right now. I know that the strength in God can’t fail, so in that alone I find strength to make it through another day.

To end with I just want to say that, “ I am not perfect; none of us are. The things we go through in life are not meant to harm us; but to guide us. It’s God’s tool to establish our being or our purpose in life.” When you feel hopeless and lost this is a quote from Pope John XXI that really help me see a small picture in a much larger one: “Consult not your fears, but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.” I have one simple request: just pray for me! God will know who you are referring to. Thanks for reading.

On the 23rd Psalm

In "pastures green"? Not always; sometimes He
Who knoweth best, in kindness leadeth me
In weary ways, where heavy shadows be.

And by "still waters"? No, not always so;
Oft time the heavy tempest round me blow,
And o'er my soul the waves and billows go.

But when the storm beats loudest, and I cry
Aloud for help, the Master standeth by,
And whispers to my soul, "Lo, it is I."

So, where He leads me, I can safely go,
And in the blest hereafter I shall know,
Why, in His wisdom, He hath led me so.

I've sent a prayer out for you bud. A big one :0)

When your house falls down and all you are left with is a pile of bricks then all we can do is rebuild it. The old foundations are no good so you dig some new ones and God will help in that. It's our job to start building it again brick by brick. Your hands can get roughed up and inevitably one will drop on your foot but slowly over time your dwelling place will be just about as you want it and before you know it you'll be hanging lovely pictures on your wall and when people comment on how beautiful they are you'll be able to tell them how they came to be, and perhaps be the first person round there when theirs falls down. Keep going fella and please keep coming back to SF because there are some ace DIY'ers here!

G.

[lemex]

Being a veteran having a medical discharge I trust you are receiving both due benefits and assistance from the VA to which you are entitled. Based on your service you may have training or education assistance and other programs available that are service connected. I hope you are being treated right. Take it a day at a time.

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by yosh1234

I have literally lost everything within a year time period. I mean everything; my car, my house, my wife, my kids, .

Hi yosh

I hear you.

Similar experiences have I experienced.. And It's not only the material loss (side of things) - It's also the Inner strength that's depleted the self worth, and the will to continue...

I know people In this situation that have either taken to drink and drugs to cope - Or have turned Inwards or to God In these times....

I chose God or to what I am..

I am grateful for the experience that led me to that moment although at the time you do not see the bigger picture and to what Is unfolding..

What doesn't beat you will make you stronger

x daz x

[7luminaries]

You're being forged in the crucible. But you're never alone. You have my prayers. And you have the clarity and appreciation for what's important that your experiences have given you. That is more than many ever discover in a lifetime.

BTW your children are not lost, even if your family is not together in the same sense. I will also pray that you can and do remain in their lives.

Peace & blessings,
7L

Yes I am currently pending a claim from the VA. The VA takes a while to process these claims. I was in school but I had to drop out due to these personal concerns. I keep telling myself dont feel sorry for yourself. Life still goes on. Start feeling sorry for yourself and depression will kick in and I will enter another dark world. It's so easy to let things overcome you; God is always on time! Thanks for your comments and prayers. Looks like I have some bricks to pick up!

Yosh: Best wishes to you. I always think that, in order to 'know the light' one must first 'know the dark' - you've dealt with the dark. Personally, I feel that you can use your military training to help with your spirituality...remember the USMC saying of "Improvise, Adapt, Overcome" ;)

You've been through a war - so, this...this, while difficult, should be what some may call 'a piece of cake' compared to being in a war. Utilize that strength from having fought in the war and serving in the service with your spirituality...and you will have the power to overcome this.

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

You're being forged in the crucible. But you're never alone. You have my prayers. And you have the clarity and appreciation for what's important that your experiences have given you. That is more than many ever discover in a lifetime.

BTW your children are not lost, even if your family is not together in the same sense. I will also pray that you can and do remain in their lives.

Peace & blessings,
7L

What do you mean forged into the crucible? Please elaborate if you dont mind.

[7luminaries]

Your spiritual mettle (metal, LOL.. ) is being forged through your trials in the divine flame...the material is purified and the dross falls away...the metal is lighter and stronger...

It's the alchemic process of turning lead to gold...the real alchemic process.
I was following up on what God-like said:

What doesn't beat you will make you stronger.

Peace,
7L