PLEASE READ: My Friend PREACHES Spirituality to Me When He Doesn't Live By His Words?

[Alex-The-Iceman]

Originally Posted by xxheatherxx

What your post shows, is that you yourself are already conditioned with the buzzwords 'in the now'...'awake'...'enlightened being' and probably many more. And even though you are trying to incorprate the ideas into your life...you have a sense of acievement that is attached to reaching these buzzwords.....just as your friend does. What the comparison gives you is a sense of what is fake in your own life. The fakeness is not what you have discovered...it is simply the attachment to the words themselves.

Heather,

I think understand what you're getting at, but these "buzzwords" are really the only what that I can think of to communicate this information to you over the internet. I have passed the point of trying to incorporate the principles into my life, and I have moved to actually living within these principles.

Maybe I didn't fully understand what you're trying to say; if that's the case please feel free to clear it up for me, I value everyone's opinions greatly.

[Alex-The-Iceman]

Originally Posted by Ladofthelight

Someone mentioned a self-confidence issue. That is a possibility.

Someone mentioned wanting to share experience with you. That too is a possibility.

I think that this is a self-confidence issue.

Thank you very much for the insight everyone. Some people on this post seem to be suggesting that the problem (or at least part of the problem) stems from within me and not him. The thing is, I have considered this ALOT in the past. It reached a point where I was always trying to justify other people's behvaiour by trying to find potential problems that I have within me. Just like anyone else, I am aware of my flaws and work to better myself.

The thing that makes me CERTAIN that this is not an issue with me is that this aspect of his behavior spills over into other aspects of your relationship, not just spirituality. In social situations, he needs to be the center of attention, and always feels the need to correct what other people say if he feels that they are incorrect. He has an air of having to be superior, louder, funnier, smarter, more this, more that, and he does not come across as genuine.

Now, I have learned to accept this and to live with it, as I truly value his friendship. For those who tell me that he is teaching me that "everything just IS" and that I should listen, I feel that it's alot easier to say that. It's hard to just accept it when your best friend feels the need to overshadow you and outshine you in any ways possible. A month ago, I shared with him something that I'd been thinking about. I told him how we in North America buy huge houses, have multiple TV's, go out to clubs and get drunk; yet halfway around the world there are people just like us living in mud huts and dying of disease, being slaughtered by corrupt government. This "blew his mind" and this was apparently a big revelation for him. Now, yesterday, he reiterates that SAME EXACT THING TO ME! He says, "think about it dude, there are people around the world living in mud huts and dying of disease, while we're sitting her with our huge houses and TV's. Thank about that!" -.-

Honestly, it's very emotionally draining. I have to constantly be putting effort in order to support his self-image. I have to because if not I feel like it'll all come crashing down. I want him to be happy, he's a great friend; it's just really frustrating at time. I'm an 18 year old college kid! Cut me some slack lol

How is it that he's a great friend? What benefit is there for you in this friendship?

Originally Posted by Alex-The-Iceman

Over the past while I've really been exploring spirituality. I've been noticing great changes in myself, such as more of a focus on the Now, more appreciation for life and existence, and stripping down my walls and being genuine. I'm by no means this great enlightened being, but I am "awake" and starting to grow in that way.

I have a friend who talks ALOT about spirituality but never really does anything about it. He preaches things to me as if HE's teaching ME something, which kinda annoys me. Yesterday, we went into a store that sells books and other things on spirituality (which was my idea) and we proceeded to look around. We were talking to the guy at the front desk and he started talking to me and my friend about how the past and future do not exist; they are simply ideas. I have been aware of this for quite a while, but just listened to what he had to say and learned a few things.

The next day, my friend is talking to me and says: "man, I've just been living more in the Now. The past and future don't exist man! You should try it right now, try bringing your mind to the Now."

This REALLY bugged me, and I just didn't really pay him much attention. I have been aware of this and living by this principle for quite a while now, but I don't go about gloating to him about it or even sharing it with him. He somehow feels like he's teaching me something, and trying to get me to do something. It almost seems like he thinks he's better than me, like there's some sort of power stuggle.

He'll also randomly declare things like: "man, everything just IS." However, HE DOES NOT LIVE BY THIS PRINCIPLE. He complains and whines about the same things over and over. THIS IS INFURIATING!

This is just one example; he does this all the time. I try to let it go and let it be but at some point it really starts to bug me.

What should I do about this?

HI,
WE CAN LISTEN TO ANOTHERS OPINION ABOUT THEIR BELIEFS BUT WE DONT HAVE TO AGREE WITH IT, JUST AS THEY DONT HAVE TO AGREE WITH OUR OPINIONS OF CERTAIN THINGS.

YOU CAN POLITELY SAY LOOK I RESPECT THAT YOU HAVE YOUR OWN BELIEFS AND OPINIONS ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS, THAT ARE DIFFERENT FROM MY OWN, HOW ABOUT WE RESPECT EACH OTHERS BELIEFS AND NOT TALK ABOUT WHAT WE DONT AGREE ON AS I DONT WANT IT TO COME BETWEEN US AS FRIENDS.

IF THE FRIENDSHIP LASTS GOOD IF IT DOESNT THEN WE ALL MOVE ON AT TIMES FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE.

LOVE AND LIGHT SHAYA