Love and Loyalty: Are They Becoming Extinct?

[Frozen Ghost]

Has anyone else noticed how love and loyalty are so rare and fragile in the present age we live in? People we thought we knew betray us or just fall away from our lives like withered autumn leaves. Friends we've had for years become like strangers overnight, and never speak again as if they never shared a bond. New friends have become hard to find because everyone hides behind a screen they can type on, and no one seems sociable anymore. The word "family" has almost become a byword, because to many, water has become thicker than blood.

Has anyone else observed the erosion of personal relationships and deeper bonds between people in our world today? Have the bodysnatchers taken over, is humanity becoming less social, loyal and caring? Or is the world undergoing a spiritual crisis... what's going on?

[Lynn]

Hello

I think that times have changed a lot with the cell phone becoming a part of our world. Lost is the "communications" too many times I see a family out for dinner and each one of them at the table is one a device. There is no chatter just thumbs moving on the pad.

I note that at times even a couple out on a date will be on the phone...and at times are "texting" the other while they are both there to talk.

I just got one this year my first cell phone that has more functions than a phone....and I have only phone modes on it. If I go for a meal with someone I ask them to ignore their device.....or I will walk out. You do not get to know someone with the click of the thumbs.

I know some will chime in and go "you met your husband here on SF Via the chat room" and yes I did but we soon when to Skype to talk to see face to face and talk. In that we got to know the other on the real plane of emotions and expressions. You can not get that from fingers on keys.

We need to be willing to put down the device and look another in the eye but that seems for now something that is lost or being lost.

I even see the aging population trying to catch up with the younger generation and get wired.

Lynn

[Delsol]

“Who Are My People?”

Rosa Zagnoni Marinoni

My people? Who are they?
I went into the church where the congregation
Worshiped my God. Were they my people?
I felt no kinship to them as they knelt there.

My people! Where are they?
I went into the land where I was born,
Where men spoke my language…
I was a stranger there.
“My people,” my soul cried. “Who are my people?”

Last night in the rain I met an old man
Who spoke a language I do not speak,
Which marked him as one who does not know my God.
With apologetic smile he offered me
The shelter of his patched umbrella.
I met his eyes… And then I knew…

Frozen Ghost, yes, I have noticed (I see we are of the same generation...) but please do not give up hope, or being you. Cycles, pendulums swinging. I think we are meant to learn a deeper kind of Love through this, though it seems inferior. Non-attachment. Global good will. Loving, though no love seems returned. If you can keep yours intact, it will be there ready when the pendulum swings the other way. Bon courage!

[Lucky 1]

A while back my wife and l were out at a nice restaurant. ......across from us were a young couple obviously on a date....they spent more time staring at there damn cell phones then they did talking and visiting with each other!

From my angle I could see that the girl was on Facebook........and I see this behavior with young folks all the time.

I found it a very sad commentary on the state of the world.

When I was younger and dating my now wife.....being so checked out and oblivious of my date would have never even crossed my mind.

Another issues in our fast paced modern society is the loss of the family dinner.......when I was growing up the whole family sat down together for supper...talked about each other's day and shared the meal.

When I had a family my wife and l carried this tradition on........I'll never forget my teenage daughters girl friend coming over around supper time and us all sitting down together to eat and the girl friend sitting at the table and acting very uncomfortable and finally asking if we were doing this because she was there....

We said no....we had supper as a family every day.....turns out her family almost never ate together..... Everyone eating alone or sitting on the couch watching TV and eating alone....

That was another rule at supper time......the TV was turned of!

The point is love and loyalty has decayed because no one's interacting anymore......they're on Facebook..... I have a very low opinion of Facebook!

[Verunia]

I don't think they're becoming extinct, but rather, more obscured. At the end of the day people still want both of those things. Technology is a convenient excuse for people to subdue interpersonal relations but it is not the cause of the issue. In fact, social media can introduce you to people you may have more in common with than in your waking life.

At the end of the day, people can only really blame themselves for the barriers they put up or the relationships they don't take seriously and in this sense, I'm certain it is nothing new.

[Shaunc]

Technology is just a tool and like anything else in this world it can be used for good, bad or indifferent.
Lucky, I can relate to the meal time ritual, I can't claim to eat together as a family every night but we would eat together 5 out of 7 nights as I sometimes get caught up at work as do my 2 oldest sons and the youngest son is often busy with sports training. Before the latest technology people often used newspapers as a way to avoid interacting with others.

I also believe the traditional concepts are disappearing. Changes seem to sweep across society these days - whether faster than 100 years ago, I don't know. I believe this because of the intensity of social engineering on behalf of governments and the siren calls of technology manufacturers (obviously supported by governments who need tax-takes and get a cut of both profit and purchasers' money). "Spend!!!" is the new cry from governments. "It supports the economy!" Whatever that means.

People increasingly distance themselves from each other through technology. People's reliance on it seems naive, bizarre to me. They've become puppets to acquisition and consumerism - instant- and self-gratification. They don't think of others too much.

Through lack of real-life experience (at least in the UK, and suffering from self-directed obsessive aims) politicians distort cultures which means moving away from traditions and former social mechanisms.

However, I also believe there are many of us who still adhere to and believe in love and loyalty. They cost nothing except honesty. I am loyal but, like trust, it has to be earned.

♥

[ocean breeze]

On the airport some restaurants already have a computer on the table. You don't even need to bring your own device. A glimpse of futuristic restaurants i suppose.

[EmilyDuck]

I actually feel more connected than ever to the people in my life . . . but I work Really hard at it and my situation is sort of unique . . . Im a relatively young widow (49) with no kids, no pets, no houseplants and the freedom to travel . . . . . I know how important it is to Really Connect with those we love while we have the chance . . . so I make it a point to share meals with the people in my life in relaxed places with few distractions . . . to me that's the best thing we can do as humans to connect . . . . . I have potlucks to gather people together and see people individually as well . . . some friends I eat with at least once a week (they are sort of like my family) . . . others I only see once a year but it's always a concentrated exchange of love and life . . . my family all live in other states and Im the one who travels to see them for holidays and special events . . . if I didn't travel or make the effort, I probably wouldnt see people very often . . . but it is my highest priority . . . . . I dont interact with many people under the age of 40, and if someone spends a great deal of time looking at their phone while Im eating with them, I distance myself and focus my attention elsewhere . . . I find that there are plenty of people longing for connection . . . I seek them out . . . and enjoy their company . . . . . some people who I thought were close friends, have drifted out of my life . . . and it makes me sad . . . but there always seems to be another someone reaching out from their hermit cave . . . . .

[A human Being]

Lovely post, EmilyDuck It's a real shame that so many people in our culture have become so beholden to material possessions, because they're a poor substitute for real human connection and intimacy. And the sad thing is, it seems that the more immersed we are in technology (seriously, how much time do people spend staring at their phones, these days??), the more isolated we become, and the more wary of one another.

(He says, from behind his keyboard!)