Predictable behavior in romance.

[mickiel]

Hey, with all the predictable behavior that is going on in romance, we all should be experts at it by now. All this information, all this experience, we see it over and over again. We can read it in a book, see it in a movie, watch it on a game show; or just keep experiencing it for ourselves until we can read people like a book, see our own romances like we are watching a movie, or see the game show in your own life.

It just goes to show you, when knowledge, the head and the heart meet, its not always predictable, but much of it can be. Eventually you'll get tired of sticking your hand in that fire, and wondering why you get burned. You will see the fire and avoid the flames.

Taking a chance at getting burned, is just another form of gambling.

[Ciona]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

I don't want anyone doing what they don't want because I willed them or tricked them, or bribed them.

I can only respect this. It shows strength of character. All the games in the world-which are really just an expression of weakness imo--and often a desperate need for control--can't stand up to that.

Lighthearted games, and romantic gamemanship can be different, but I only play those with people who have the kind of integrity you describe.

[MIND POWER]

With most women, i think its best to....

Don't compliment them too much, and don't be too nice to them ether or soft. When i say nice i mean, showering them with compliments or speaking to them everyday, i would rather make a girl laugh then tell her she is beautiful. The only type of men that are all romantic and (nice nice) are push overs, and i honestly don't think women respect that. Obviously there may be times when i have a lapse in concentration and be abit softly with a girl but only when they make me feel a certain way! but that's natural with everyone, but very rarely this happens.

Obviously when you connect with the right (Women or Man) none of that will matter, that's when you know (she or he) has got the right stuff.

[mickiel]

[quote=MIND POWER].

The only type of men that are all romantic and (nice nice) are push overs ,QUOTE]


The only kind of man who would say this, is a cave man. A Neanderthal thinking man.

Originally Posted by TheGlow

We are just friends. But it sounds like our friendship has gone over the last year and a half. Except there's no break up, he just gets mean to the point I think he didlikes me more than likes me.
The 5 years before that were great. Though we were less close.

It's painful and feels abusive. He has some pretty horrific abuse as a kid so I always put it down to a fear of being close to anyone. Either ways it's eroding my self esteme to be regected as a friend for no reason on a regular basis. Like the rug being pulled out from underneath you.

I am going to need to go to a safe distance myself. Sucks!

(((hugs)))

[mickiel]

Good or bad experiences in romance, should lead to better romances, if we learn the behavior patterns. Experience, or wisdom, is " Knowing how it is", and with enough experience we can know how people are. If you know yourself, know how you are, and then know how the person is you are thinking of being with, that's a good beginning. Of course we can be fooled, if the other person is putting on a false persona, being plastic and not really being themselves; then after your heart is invested, they come out of that bag and show themselves for the first time, and you don't like what you see, there's always an out!

Its called " Bye!"

Or you can try to kiss the frog and turn it into a prince.

[MIND POWER]

[quote=mickiel]

Originally Posted by MIND POWER

.

The only type of men that are all romantic and (nice nice) are push overs ,

Originally Posted by mickiel

The only kind of man who would say this, is a cave man. A Neanderthal thinking man.

Hey..

I am obviously going to act different, with different women as I should have explained Mickiel. I would not be all romantic with every woman, why should i make it something it is not..? i am honest man, it's good to be honest........From my observation the men who kind of get carried away, and be all romantic with every women they come across as push over’s! And women don’t respect this.

(I would rather make most women smile and laugh, then showering them with compliments and sweet talk).


But obviously when you meet the right (Women or Man), and you connect, none of that matters Mickiel, that's the point i was making. I was just speaking in general about, how maybe i act towards most women. I am obviously going to be more romantic with a woman a connect with more, because i am a honest man.

Originally Posted by mickiel

I remember reading once, that we look into a mirror for two reasons; to look at ourselves, and then prepare ourselves for others to look at us.

Quite possibly. When you think about our true self being hidden from ourselves, then what does the world see?

Originally Posted by mickiel

Well one pattern I have seen, is " The cycle", a weird kind of circle that keeps repeating itself. There is the romance, the union, the honeymoon period, then the breakup; then comes the make up, and the cycle begins all over again. Often the men trapped in this pattern, kind of " Get off on the reaction they see in the woman, when they tell her their leaving." The woman goes into a kind of " Begging clinging mode", and he is aroused by that, and reassured as well. A weird type of pacification gets kicked off in his head. Its also a type of control feature , which will actually wreck a relationship, ruin it, just to be able to control it.

Its really a form of abuse.

Agree! Quite a sick pattern IMO. Perhaps we attract partners who do this because of karmic laws? Idk

[mickiel]

[quote=MIND POWER]

Originally Posted by mickiel

Hey..

I am obviously going to act different, with different women as I should have explained Mickiel. I would not be all romantic with every woman, why should i make it something it is not..? i am honest man, it's good to be honest........From my observation the men who kind of get carried away, and be all romantic with every women they come across as push over’s! And women don’t respect this.

(I would rather make most women smile and laugh, then showering them with compliments and sweet talk).


But obviously when you meet the right (Women or Man), and you connect, none of that matters Mickiel, that's the point i was making. I was just speaking in general about, how maybe i act towards most women. I am obviously going to be more romantic with a woman a connect with more, because i am a honest man.

Well I understand; I'll meet you halfway, Romance, and the language of romance, or romantic words, should be reserved for only that one connection; yes;, but I think we should be " Nice, nice to every woman".