Do you regret marrying? Why?

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by JimmyTheTulip

WhiteShaman..I can completely understand what your saying. I believe that the reason that people have such issues with marraige now is becuase they see marriages collapsing all around them. The reason that my wife and I have been able to get through those tough times is because we both have parents who are still married and are good role models on how to make things work!

Today's role models are The Kardashians!

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

Today's role models are The Kardashians!

And that is just plain ole scary!!!

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by JimmyTheTulip

And that is just plain ole scary!!!

Well, we had Elizabeth Taylor and we made it!

Actually, I don't know how old you are but my generation had our heroes in comic books.........Kids don't have that these days like we did.
Sounds crazy but those comic book heroes gave us alot in the way of values I think.

Glad to hear that most of you met your real soulmates.

It's always so nice to know that some people are really happy.

Not for one second... My wife and I love each other and have a great life together. And a very peaceful one as well...

You're right about having proper role models. Probably, another reason is that some people are not strong enough to overcome all obstacles together with their spouses.

I was married in 1979. Separated when I was 6 months pregnant in 1982 (my husband was having an affair), with divorce following a few months later. My son and I scraped by for many years on a very meagre income, no child support, and very infrequent visits by my ex to our son. It was a long, hard haul, admittedly. And I am grateful for every moment of it. Why? Because, just as Jules had stated in her post, my husband was one of my - and my son's - greatest teachers. I learned a great deal about myself during those years, and I also learned to not hold onto anger toward someone else, no matter what they may have done to trigger pain within me. I became a stronger person because of my ex, and empathized with his own inner struggles, which I only realized many years later were the reason behind his actions. Forgiveness and empathy does not mean that one is condoning another's hurtful ways; it simply means that one has learned to see past what they feel has been done to them, and instead look beyond that to the 'why' which is often deeply buried within the other. Teachers come to us in all forms, and those who present to us the most difficult experiences often bring with them the greatest lessons, if we choose to learn them.

Yassi,
Do I ever regret marrying?
Of course, many times.

However, you should also ask me, “Do you ever want to go back and change the course of your destiny so you would not be in the current marriage?”

My answer is “Absolutely NOT, I would not change a thing. I am glad to be married to this husband during this stage of my life. I was supposed to be married to this man when I married him. It was written”

Marriage is NOT an event.
Marriage is a life long journey that we take with our spouses.

When we are just taking a vacation trip with our family members or with our friend, we sometimes become frustrated and even regret taking the vacation with them. And a vacation is normally at a beautiful place or an exotic international location and that we usually have a clear direction, a map, transportation tickets, and etc. No matter how good or bad, a vacation is usually over within few weeks or if lucky, within few months.

Marriage is a life long journey without a map, a direction, or even a clear destination since life evolves so the destination changes more than once.

Moreover, there are unexpected obstacles that we have to overcome and sometimes neither of us is equipped to handle these roadblocks.

We just hope that at least one of us has the ability to handle the next obstacle and that we will be able to overcome it without any serious damage to ourselves.

The roads are confusing and not clearly marked. Sometimes, it is like a climbing an icy rocky mountain in a storm.

However, sometimes, we encounter a beautiful sandy beach with turquoise colored water and clear sunny sky.

Sometimes we travel by our feet and sometimes we have to swim across. Often, we do not have the right equipment but we somehow manage.

We pick flowers and fruits from the side of roads whenever we can.
We try to find our amusements from the little things that we find during the journey.

We support, pull, push, and encourage each other to the next turn.
We take a break in a quiet meadow and we joyfully share what we gathered along the way.

At the end of our journey, we reach our final destination and we find ourselves on a top of a tall mountain with the view of the world around us. We can finally see everything in this world clearly.

We look down the roads that we took and we can now see that there are other roads as well. But we realize that we would not change a thing about our journey.
Because at the end, we realize that our destination was with us all along on those roads that we took and within those experiences that we shared.

And yes, during our long journey, we bicker, argue, blame each other, and even regret being with each other more than once.

But at the end of our long journey at the top of mountain, we know that we would not take the same journey with anyone else but with the person standing right next.

Ask any old couples who have been together for 50 years or more, they will tell you the depth of love that they feel after sharing their lives together. They will tell you that they are now two in one.

Many people talk about finding their twin soul mate but they do not realize that they have the power to create their own twin soul mate right here on this earth.

Marriage is not just a long journey but a difficult journey because life itself is difficult.

And yes, it is normal to regret marrying sometimes because we are human.

That was well put Nada. I left my first marriage. After many years of being single, am now happily married to my best friend.

Wondering and Nada,

So much wisdom in the simple words. Reading your comments was really enjoyable and useful. Thank you.