Looking for encouragement

[ByChance]

You cannot imagine the sad childhood my TF had. I can imagine now all his insecurities, his fears, his low self esteem, his fear of rejection.
I know now he experienced all of that with me. My beautiful TF, how blind I was. But he manage in someway to have the courage.

I don't know if you have any secret, I only wanted to share my story. You don't need to tell us here if you have any or not. I mean, this is my TF story but maybe it relates to yours. I dont know.

You know what? I thought he was the runner before! I mean, there is a runner? There is a chaser? Really? Or those are only illusions?
There are a mirrors everywhere. What we are seeing is even real? You need to cross the bridge of illusions. I did it. It was very painful to do it, but I passed the test. I chose my TF and I will do it once and again. Remember, we create our reallity.

[IWNGU]

Originally Posted by ByChance

Oh I remember the time I said to my TF "could we be friends?". I remember it so perfectly. I remember it as if we talked yesterday. It was one of the most important conversations back in time that remained in him and me for all these years and the one we pick up the instant we reconnected. I remember so well the voice in my head of my TF. He was very angry. He told me: "I could never be your friend". We were chating online since we were in different countries. Before that he had declared his love for me and he told me he was in love with me. I remember his desperation in his voice. In that moment he knew we were TF. He had found the concept. But he didn't tell me. And I was in other place in energy. I loved him, but couldn't love him. I told him we were different, we would be a mess together. And that I didn't want to control him. I wanted him to be free. It was painful for me to tell him that. I felt him hurting. But he had hurt me already by them. But I was acting out of love, no in revenge.
So guess what he did? He recommended some TF movies. He recommended me to read the book "The Celestine Profecy" in which they speak about syncronicities.
But he took a big step later. He, my super very smart TF. I know now that he trusted in the power of love and that he believed with his heart that I was his TF. So, guess what he did? He told me his biggest secret, in one 3 pages long email. All the details were there. I read that in shock. I felt a hole in my stomach. You see, I was that perfect little princess and he was a kind of reckless boy. And from another country! Speaking other language! With a background very different than mine! And I was in love with him but couldn't accept that from him, something that was already in the past. What would say my parents about it? My friends? My sister? Me this perfect woman with a boy like that?
But you see, 9 years later I came back to him. I found the TF concept thank to one TF movie that picture us very well. It helped me to come to terms with that I am in love with him and that I love him, no matter what. And I declared my love for him, that he has my heart. I told him now, after 9 years that I love him with all my heart. He trusted back in time that at some point my love for him would be unconditional. And thanks to that I had my awakening some months ago this year. Now I set him free one more time for him to awaken. I don't have other choice but to trust in the power of love. I am in a better position now to bring him to my life.
So, does she know everything about you? She knows all your secrets and dark parts? Are you ready to take the leap and trust in the power of love or you hold any fear? Where is fear there is no love.
Love takes courage, are you ready for it? Are you ready to trust that she will find her way back to you?
Love and light for you. Namasté.

ByChance... you're taking my story right outta my life! My TF is from another country, she comes from a culture that our love would be forbidden. Although she is a deeper thinker, she's also an innocent princess that grew up very privileged. And YES.. we had a very memorable conversation where she wanted to know every deep dark secret in the corners of my existence to which I shared. I'm also the one that has maintained.. "I could never be your friend."

It dawned on me earlier today, that she had to say the things she did to push me away because I wasn't letting us go. I wasn't giving any room for either of us to face our fears and challenges to grow. I am confident she is madly in love with me and while it saddens me right now, I trust this journey.

The Celestine Prophecy.. I'll look this up!

[IWNGU]

Originally Posted by ByChance

You cannot imagine the sad childhood my TF had. I can imagine now all his insecurities, his fears, his low self esteem, his fear of rejection.
I know now he experienced all of that with me. My beautiful TF, how blind I was. But he manage in someway to have the courage.

I don't know if you have any secret, I only wanted to share my story. You don't need to tell us here if you have any or not. I mean, this is my TF story but maybe it relates to yours. I dont know.

You know what? I thought he was the runner before! I mean, there is a runner? There is a chaser? Really? Or those are only illusions?
There are a mirrors everywhere. What we are seeing is even real? You need to cross the bridge of illusions. I did it. It was very painful to do it, but I passed the test. I chose my TF and I will do it once and again. Remember, we create our reallity.

I'm dumbfounded by your replies!! I just saw this one after I posted my other one to you. I too have had a sad childhood filled with many tragic events that have separated me from growing too close. My fear of rejection has kept me in a continuous loop of self-sabotage and unworthiness.

My TF has been beautifully protected and sheltered from any pain or sorrow, yet has an understanding of me beyond reason. It has shown mirrors at every turn. I feel like you represent her side of things, and I feel the Universe is comforting me right now. I told her today, "I choose you" before she told me to let it go. And you're telling me you chose your TF and will do it once and again.

[IWNGU]

Also, what I learned today was the "turnaround strategy" to help break down and understand the mirror process. For example, I chose two things that trigger me with my TF; inconsistency, emotional immaturity.

Now, I write those two things down, and below each one I write how I AM inconsistent and how I AM emotionally immature. Kind of aids the runner/chaser idea since we run and chase to provide space to heal old wounds.

[IWNGU]

Guess where parts of The Celestine Prophecy was filmed?? In my hometown, Ocala, FL. What is happening??

[ByChance]

Originally Posted by IWNGU

I'm dumbfounded by your replies!! I just saw this one after I posted my other one to you. I too have had a sad childhood filled with many tragic events that have separated me from growing too close. My fear of rejection has kept me in a continuous loop of self-sabotage and unworthiness.

My TF has been beautifully protected and sheltered from any pain or sorrow, yet has an understanding of me beyond reason. It has shown mirrors at every turn. I feel like you represent her side of things, and I feel the Universe is comforting me right now. I told her today, "I choose you" before she told me to let it go. And you're telling me you chose your TF and will do it once and again.

I am so glad you to hear that you will chose your TF once and again. That's true love, unconditional love. I am so sorry for your sad childhood, I am so very sorry to hear it. I don't know if this was your case, but my Twin Flame was kicked down a flight of stairs, choked, punched, body slammed, slapped thrown agaist the wall and who knows what else more. And their brother and sister, have their stories, too. When he told me what he suffered during his childhood, I felt a deep sorrow for him. I wanted to comfort him, to take his face in my hands and kiss him deeply to remove that old wound from him.
It is very sad that children are traited that way. Childhood should be honoured, children are sacred, they are the future of our world.

From your words I understand now that my Twin Flame has a huge fear of rejection and that he is protecting his heart putting walls around him and going silent, waiting for me to see what I have to tell to him. And I understand now why he self sabotaged himself in the past regarding our relationship. And now I know that he feels unworthty of my love. But I do love him so deeply, he deserves my kisses, my love, my warm, my touch and my everyday care. He deserves to sleep with me entangled. He deserves to hold me and make love to me everyday. I am sorry that I am telling all of this, but maybe it can help you in your own journey. I wish my TF knew how much I desire him and that I dream to spend not only one night but the rest of my life besides him. For me one night stand with him will never be enough and I feel a big pain when he tells me that. I wish he could tell me he wish to spend the rest of my life with me. I dream with that day. He deserves my love. I wish he could see it.

[ByChance]

Originally Posted by IWNGU

ByChance... you're taking my story right outta my life! My TF is from another country, she comes from a culture that our love would be forbidden. Although she is a deeper thinker, she's also an innocent princess that grew up very privileged. And YES.. we had a very memorable conversation where she wanted to know every deep dark secret in the corners of my existence to which I shared. I'm also the one that has maintained.. "I could never be your friend."

It dawned on me earlier today, that she had to say the things she did to push me away because I wasn't letting us go. I wasn't giving any room for either of us to face our fears and challenges to grow. I am confident she is madly in love with me and while it saddens me right now, I trust this journey.

The Celestine Prophecy.. I'll look this up!

So many coincidences between my TF story and yours... This actually scare me a bit but I will trust in the universe and the love I feel for my TF.
I am very sorry that love is forbiden in her country. Love should never be forbbiden, it should be lived free everywhere in the world. Gender should never be an issue in love matters. But maybe in your own country you can be free in loving each other, without being judged. Trust the universe, trust in the power of love.

And well, yes, the same as your TF, I was grown very priviledged, with a lot of money. The house I grow up was like a doll house, so beautiful, people loved our house. It had a beautiful garden, with a lovely grass, flowers and trees. It was the perfect house, the same you can found in a decor magazine. Everything was in order and clean. And yes, we had a lot of toys. My sisters and me used to play a lot. I have a lot of lovely mamories from my childhood, but you see, the appearance didn't reflected the reality, for most of my childhood I felt abandoned, I used to cry a lot. And when I was a teen I felt lost and felt depressed. A lot of times I just wanted to fly out the window, from my room and disappear. I wanted to scape from my reallity. And I thought about suicide several times. To scape and as a revange for my parents.
You see, I have never been physically beaten, but they beaten my soul, I was destroyed in the inside, because I needed to be a perfect child and a perfect teen, I was very controlled and over protected. When I was a little child they would leave me crying until I couldn't resit any more and ended broken in a corner. They kept me in my room, too, if I did something they considered wrong. I needed to bring home only A+. If I got something less, I would be nagged until my dad left me crying in my room, telling me not to go out for a period of time. Sometimes, when I got bad grades, I started crying and trembling in the school until reached my house, and until my dad arrived at night to nag me, to yell at me and looking at me with mad eyes. I felt so scare, so unloved. I felt abandoned. They never hugged me or touched me neither. Never told me I love you. I became very insecure, and my mother always told me that I was very indecisive, mocking at me for it. Besides that, I had a sister with a congenital desease. My mother was focused at her most of the time and the atmosphere of my life was very heavy and tense. She died while I was a teen. I remember that day when I arrived home and found she had died. So sad.
Later on, they made me in some way, study a very difficult career, only to make money and for prestige. I learned in therapy that some parents do that in order to get their children to to support them later. So, no only they beat my soul but later they killed my dreams, pushing me to study something I didn't like at all. I spend 7 years of my life crying while I was studying. I remember being in the library of my home at 2 am studying while my tears were falling from my eyes. I was always studying, night and day. Weekends. I was so busy. I used to wake at 5 am anc leave to university. I had to stop my piano lessons, which I loved and I was very talented at it. I found comfort in my books and movies, mostly. I was always sad and lost. I couldn't find my place neither I had the strenght to change anything. I felt trapped. So I wished I could die. But I managed to end my career in order to get out of that university to which I didn't belonged. Finally I went out of hell. I tried to study a master degree in literature, one of my passions, but well, at some point I needed to abandond it because my parents couldn't support me. The company of my dad bankrupted and they run out of money. So I needed to work.
But well, destiny was at play, if it weren't for my career I would never meet my TF.

So, you are mistaken a priviledged life for a life without love. So, since our stories are similar, imagine your lovely TF going through all of this. So that's the reason she is so afraid. But you see, I got the courage to be here. I know he will find me and I know he will trust in this journey. And he will find the courage within himself.
And yes, I am deeply madly in love with him, after all these years. I always think about him and imagine having a life with him. I love that he is a very compassionate man, very sensitive, sexy and sensual, he is the hottest man in the world for me, very passionate and loving. I love him very much, with all my heart.

[ByChance]

Originally Posted by IWNGU

Also, what I learned today was the "turnaround strategy" to help break down and understand the mirror process. For example, I chose two things that trigger me with my TF; inconsistency, emotional immaturity.

Now, I write those two things down, and below each one I write how I AM inconsistent and how I AM emotionally immature. Kind of aids the runner/chaser idea since we run and chase to provide space to heal old wounds.

Thank you for telling me, I will do that.

[ByChance]

Originally Posted by IWNGU

Guess where parts of The Celestine Prophecy was filmed?? In my hometown, Ocala, FL. What is happening??

Well, I guess is the universe guiding us through the power of love. I think we are all interconnected and that there is not dualiy and that actually we are One.

I remember when I visited my TF in his city, we went to see an exhibition called "Interconnecteness, non-separation, non-duality". That day was very cold. It was very windy and my TF told me to walk behind him just to protect me from the wind while we were crossing a bridge. He is beautiful. I know he will always protect me and take care of me if we are together.

[ByChance]

Originally Posted by IWNGU

Guess where parts of The Celestine Prophecy was filmed?? In my hometown, Ocala, FL. What is happening??

Well, I guess is the universe guiding us through the power of love. I think we are all interconnected and that there is not dualiy and that actually we are One.

I remember when I visited my TF in his city, 13 years ago, we went to see an exhibition called "Interconnecteness, non-separation, non-duality". That day was very cold. It was very windy and my TF told me to walk behind him just to protect me from the wind while we were crossing a bridge. He is beautiful. I know he will always protect me and take care of me if we are together.