That is a truly inspiring story and thanks for sharing such a positive message.
I am also going through a catharsis after a prolonged dark, depression in which I felt like I was the butt of a universal joke or conspiracy...and this has always been with me, in some form or another...but that which we resist, persists and I was doing a lot of resisting and it was doing a lot of persisting...until I finally said "enough is enough" and went back on my antidepressant and anti anxiety medications two weeks ago.
Everybody sort of got sick and tired of me taking out my existential angst on them.
Yeah, so I had plans to get out and go for more long walks...I still wasn't getting off my backside, so fate goes "let's blow her car engine up"...I couldn't see that at the time, I was really pi$$ed at the time...but two weeks later and 5kg lighter, I go "yeah, so THAT'S why that happened..." Hindsight is a wonderful thing..
Then yesterday, I saw a poster outside a church "Don't ask God to guide your footsteps if you aren't prepared to move your feet" and I kinda went "yep, how true that is..."
Then last night I found an old DVD in the bottom of my cupboard called "The Tapping Solution", all about the practice of EFT:
At first, I thought "how stupid" but I had a lot of deep pain...So deep in fact, I had totally suppressed all of the emotions associated with it, down into my subconscious and so I knew that unless I could consciously acknowledge an emotion, Tapping wouldn't probably work for me anyway.
Then, out of the blue, I saw myself as a child just screaming at my parents "JUST LET ME BE MYSELF!!! I AM NOT A MINI VERSION OF YOU!" They could NEVER love and accept me for who I was and if I showed any outward signs of emotional expression, I was flogged into oblivion and then locked in my bedroom for days..
I also understood at that point that the only one who could ever possibly love and accept me for who I am, is God and if I wanted to 'do my own thing', don't expect anybody else to agree or approve, because they are NOT God...and hence, my whole philosophy was formed.
I shed quite a few tears last night, but I also know that this is just the start of a long process and if I want my subconscious mind to stop attacking my physical body, I have to keep going with it.