Empathy for others is my sole focus...Am i normal????

Sorry, i didn't know what section to put this in...
Don't think i am crazy please but this governs how i live every day. It's the sole way
I've always felt like I'm different to people but in a strange way that i cannot put my finger on.
I'm very sensitive and empathetic...i can't bear to hurt peoples feelings. The feelings of guilt and regret, on the off chance that i do, is almost unbearable...even if it's just making a little joke about someone i can't do it! I can't bear to see other people sad either or being hurt by others - my heart goes out to everyone. If i see people sad or upset it makes me cry. I feel it is almost my job to comfort these people or lend a shoulder to cry on because no one else thinks of them and i feel some people were made to do these things, to comfort the downtrodden and reassure them...i believe i am one of these people!
I am 19 now but i've always been naturally kind since childhood and sensitive towards others. My parents and relatives have always loved this about me because I am a person who reaches out to people. Friends and others love me because I accept everyone for who they are. I love people but i do not talk much unless spoken to or absolutely need to (i don't know why....i suppose talking isn't the only communication. I believe in action/body language/eye contact a little more)

But i feel like a freak because i am a 19 year old who is not concerned about fashion, partying or material goods. I work for a charity because i've always wanted to work for a charity. But it is never satisfying enough for me...I was thinking of taking up more. I don't feel like a normal person because my focus and the way i am is quite different to most people my age i know. People my age do like me but have a different focus in life...i feel a pull from a spiritual side rather than a human needs side. I feel the pain fro others in the world...and don't feel pressures from peer pressure or other things. Am i weird?? :/

I would say NO you're not weird. I've been that way most of my life too. Just don't try to change yourself to be materialistic. It probably won't work. It didn't for me. Don't forget to take care of yourself though. It's probably hard trying to "fit in" as well. Be true to your heart, obviously there are others who love you for who you are.

[Native spirit]

HI CASPER.

this was like reading about myself i used to be the same as you are.

there is nothing wrong in it, you are just a caring person,

be proud that you are different,

Namaste

[Verunia]

Hey casper.. Do you know what normal is? I sure don't... I tried to be normal up until recently when I realized there is no such thing. It's a societal phrase that makes you feel like you have to cram yourself into a small corner known as normality. Don't worry about being normal.

All those things you're not concerned with would just drag you down, as they drag most people down in the world. They are clearly not your thing. Don't feel like you have to party or dress a certain way to feel 'normal'. Actually when I look at former friends and people I used to associate myself with, I roll my eyes... How could I ever want to try and fit in with them? I am me, and I have grown to understand this identity I have seemingly become, something that just cannot be accepted or understood by most people. It's okay!

I think it's admirable that you are who you are, but please don't ever doubt yourself. You don't need to do a thing- you are fine the way you are. Empathy can be a double edged sword, so remember to balance who you are and your 'needs', and the needs of other people. There is an equilibrium somewhere in there!

By the way, I just turned 18.. I know it can be pretty difficult growing up feeling this way. Totally worth it in my opinion.

[Roselove]

Hi Casper! I think empathy is a great quality to have but make sure you protect your energy so you are not asorbing other people's emotions. I am also the same way, always feel compeled to help others, always understanding etc. it's a trait to be proud of, not many people have that but so many need it, consider yourself a blessing to those around you

and no it's not werid, everyone has thier own interests and things that make them special.

Originally Posted by casper

But i feel like a freak because i am a 19 year old who is not concerned about fashion, partying or material goods. I work for a charity because i've always wanted to work for a charity. But it is never satisfying enough for me...I was thinking of taking up more. I don't feel like a normal person Am i weird?? :/

Actually I think you're completely normal. Not being concerned about parties and material goods only means that you set your priorities, and that you are just being 'true to yourself'. Other people might like it, which has nothing wrong, either, others pretend to like those things just because they are afraid of not being cool, and for me they are the freak ones (because they're not being true to themselves).

Some people like apples, others prefer bananas, and it's all good. The ones that are weird are those who eat apples (even though they don't like it) just because others do... and they don't even like/enjoy them. Is't it weird? (and sad). Pretty much like a daughter playing the piano, or certain sport just because her parents want her to. So if you like bananas, oranges or even pineapples, then why should you feel ackward to eat them in front of people who like apples? (not that it's olay to be 'proud' or boast eating grapes in front of apple-lovers, either it's just about eating the fruit you like).

Don't you feel light and sooo free being true to yourself the way you are now? Then why should you change it? (and the opposite is also true)

i would humbly offer the thought that you are not normal at all, and that the empathy which makes you abnormal is the greatest boon you may receive in this world. due to karma, or a grace from god, you are beyond normal which is a precondition for spiritual advancement. please dont ever feel that you should want to be normal. this would hold you back. conversely, you should do what you can to magnify your empathy and let it lead you to a vocation of service to others.
i was never normal in this regard either. i have always been severely pained for the underdog, more so that the average person. so we are in the same boat. i surrendered to love, and found myself whole.
~your servant,
Mata Das

im excatly like that, ive been told tho i cant heal the world trying to much need to help myself now her name was silver a lovely lady said summit like cant give the fish to all and none ur self but i cant help it i cant bear others hurting want to help them, i forgive all the time but i can see n feel now is time i could do with bit ov help n advice and no one to be seen she said it will be like that coz i can do it my self and spirits around will help n guide me, i fell off path and need directions to get bk on, i know that my purpose here is to help others and i have saved 3 people need to help myself now to helps others again

I have always been the exact same way. Please pay special attention to what lanbee said.... TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! I am 33 years old and although I don't regret anything I have ever done to help people, I have known for a long long time that I go so far to help people that it ends up hurting them in an entirely different way if I am not careful. Too many times I have just simply gone too far. What I perceive too be me helping turn their life around turns into them becoming so dependant upon me that I end up spending the next 3 or 4 months in an attempt to weine them off of me more or less. But it hurts them for me to not be right there saving every day. And there have even been 4 or 5 that did end up being life long friends that I would give my life for....and then 1 or 2 of those where I ended up in a relationship with for 2 or 3 years too long just because I was so careful to stage my exit only with baby steps as I was making certain the other person was emotionally and mentally stable enough for me to take one more baby step towards our seperation. baby steps and egg shells is not a healthy way too live your life for 3 years at a time just because I chose to take care of someone else and never considered maybe just maybe I should take care of myself first. And although I am saying now, don't be fooled, don't think i have learned my lesson and it won't happen again.... like I said in the begining, "I have known this for a long long time"....... Its just the way I am... people expect it of me and not only would I not let them down, I will go way beyond their expectations.
What is it that I get out of it?... If your lucky, once in awhile you will help someone that truly just needed a little help.....they weren't looking for a handout or a free ride in life. You help someone that is also helping themself and you see that persons life turn around and do amazing things. It is a wonderful feeling.....Even thinking about that feeling makes me want to cry in a good way. But the times I have been the most honored and proud is when I help someone that maybe was really self centered and they were so astounded and touched that they cried and to have someone like that come to me in public to say out loud for everyone to hear just how greatful they were to me and wanted to make sure that I knew I had open their heart in a way they didn't know possible. And for years after that, I watched that person turn around and help other people. That was the best feeling I ever had in my life.... wow..... yadda yadda yadda.... is anyone still reading this... lol.... sorry I get carried away... reliving those feelings ya know!

I too can relate, Casper. I grew up in the 70s and 80s, and let me tell you, I was a freak! lol I desperately wanted to be like everyone else because I felt so left out. But the world needs compassionate people to help balance out all those who exist solely in the physical plane. Don't worry about being "normal," the earth is changing rapidly now and every day brings new levels of being. Be true to yourself and know that you are the future of the planet.