Soooo stuck.

[Boldwiseone]

Hi everyone. It's been nearly 4 years since I've left my husband. Long complicated story but to put it in short form....I knew something was 'off' but went ahead and married him anyway. He cheated, shattered my trust. I've been on my own now for this long but feel so stuck. I don't want to be alone, but spend a lot of time in my apartment. Every time a man expresses interest I turn away. It's a vicious cycle. I have been to counselors, psychics, but I'm feeling so uninspired.

Perhaps some of you might have a suggestion of how to get out of this horrible rut. Thank you, <3

[Skybird]

{{hugs}} boldwiseone

Do you have any close girlfriends/family that you can go out with for the odd walk or movie? (anything that You like doing)
Any groups you are interested in?
Small steps to get the ball rolling.
Take care :))

Forgiveness. It's hard but if we cannot let go and move on we condemn ourselves to bitterness. Say to yourself something like "what he did was wrong. It was cruel and unfair. But it was his action and the consequences are for him to experience. I will choose to love. I will choose to love another man and learn to trust him. The heart of my ex-husband is his business. Mine will be open and loving."

If there is anything you need to resolve with your ex-husband, I would suggest doing that - divorcing and making sure you don't need to see him again. Agree to always love him at the level in which we are all one, but on a human level move on. Then open yourself to those who are asking for your love and for relationship with you.

You are not stuck.
It takes time to heal. Actually, it is not the time itself but what you do to heal yourself with the given time.

Give yourself some credit.
You are trying. You are asking for help. You are not afraid to admit that you do not want to remain alone.
Plus, you know how you are perhaps sabotaging a possible relationship chance.

However,
Because you had been married before and divorced, you probably is more selective with men now.
Perhaps, maybe perhaps, the men that you have met so far may not meet the qualities that you are looking for in your next relationship.

Or,
Although you may think that you want another serious relationship again, you may be really enjoying your singlehood again and do not want to give it up so easily.

Also, if a right man should enter into your life, it will just happen as a fate.
So pay a close attention to your intuition.

How long had you been married?
Are you still in contact with your ex in regular basis?

I read this and have been exactly where you are now until this week.

This week I realised my past experiences dominate my present and effect my future. Meaning I permanently live in the past.
I'm letting this go.
No expectations no anticipations.
JJust flow and Let be.

[Boldwiseone]

Originally Posted by Nada

You are not stuck.
It takes time to heal. Actually, it is not the time itself but what you do to heal yourself with the given time.

Give yourself some credit.
You are trying. You are asking for help. You are not afraid to admit that you do not want to remain alone.
Plus, you know how you are perhaps sabotaging a possible relationship chance.

However,
Because you had been married before and divorced, you probably is more selective with men now.
Perhaps, maybe perhaps, the men that you have met so far may not meet the qualities that you are looking for in your next relationship.

Or,
Although you may think that you want another serious relationship again, you may be really enjoying your singlehood again and do not want to give it up so easily.

Also, if a right man should enter into your life, it will just happen as a fate.
So pay a close attention to your intuition.

How long had you been married?
Are you still in contact with your ex in regular basis?

Yes this resonates. With what you were saying about 'the time itself but what you do to heal yourself with the given time...' I was numb for the first year and I've been struggling ever since.

We were only married for little under 4 years. We do not have regular contact...seeing him or our previous home really upsets me.

[Boldwiseone]

Originally Posted by oliness

Forgiveness. It's hard but if we cannot let go and move on we condemn ourselves to bitterness. Say to yourself something like "what he did was wrong. It was cruel and unfair. But it was his action and the consequences are for him to experience. I will choose to love. I will choose to love another man and learn to trust him. The heart of my ex-husband is his business. Mine will be open and loving."

I wish I could do this. This is why I'm stuck.

The primary cause of unhappiness isn't the situation.
But your thoughts about it.

Go on YouTube and find the Ted talks head Games series.
And trust me.
It helps.
To understand how the past you is holding back the new you.
We are creatures of change and of habitual nature. Hence our duality and desire for unity.

[Boldwiseone]

Thanks for your suggestions :) I feel better.

[Ascension]

I love you , boldwisewomen .