I blocked my twin.

[intj123]

Well me and twin have "made amends" once again.... I just met her.

It was the same thing again.....
When we met my heart started beating hard when I was just standing still I had to breath deeply to keep up with my heart, and also there is this part of my head or brain that feels funny it's the right back side of my head.

I just said "Hi!" rather cheerfully, and she seemed kind of shocked or nervous herself, because she knocked over a cup of pens and pencils.

I'm sure she got a "download" and was kind of shocked to see what I've been experiencing lately, or after we parted last time on such a sour note.

But overall it was good. She actually came over to interact with me and actually said something about herself. And she was pretty nice to me.
I was still fighting so hard inside myself, I was a little afraid of messing things up, so my mind was constantly self conscious with reminders of rules, and I ended up just calling to God, I was just like GOD.....little help here.

The funny thing is she can hear my thoughts, so all the things that were racing through my mind, she knew..... I don't even know what she thinks of GOD, but I know that I've been constantly been being called towards GOD, and there doesn't seem to be a choice in the matter, I just have to surrender and let things happen, I'm still missing a piece of my puzzle, my purpose! I need to know my PURPOSE!!!

She probably thought it was odd I was calling out to God in my mind while we were talking.

But what did I say? That this time would be different.
I also noticed something right now, before I never wanted to sweep things under the rug, I always wanted to keep bringing up problems and finding a resolution. But this time I guess I just brushed it under the rug for a change, because I already knew that it was my own fault, so there was no point in blaming her at all, I just took the responsibility of that event as my own fault and was grateful that she didn't hold anything against me either.

[cosmic444]

Originally Posted by intj123

Well me and twin have "made amends" once again.... I just met her.

It was the same thing again.....
When we met my heart started beating hard when I was just standing still I had to breath deeply to keep up with my heart, and also there is this part of my head or brain that feels funny it's the right back side of my head.

I just said "Hi!" rather cheerfully, and she seemed kind of shocked or nervous herself, because she knocked over a cup of pens and pencils.

I'm sure she got a "download" and was kind of shocked to see what I've been experiencing lately, or after we parted last time on such a sour note.

But overall it was good. She actually came over to interact with me and actually said something about herself. And she was pretty nice to me.
I was still fighting so hard inside myself, I was a little afraid of messing things up, so my mind was constantly self conscious with reminders of rules, and I ended up just calling to God, I was just like GOD.....little help here.

The funny thing is she can hear my thoughts, so all the things that were racing through my mind, she knew..... I don't even know what she thinks of GOD, but I know that I've been constantly been being called towards GOD, and there doesn't seem to be a choice in the matter, I just have to surrender and let things happen, I'm still missing a piece of my puzzle, my purpose! I need to know my PURPOSE!!!

She probably thought it was odd I was calling out to God in my mind while we were talking.

But what did I say? That this time would be different.
I also noticed something right now, before I never wanted to sweep things under the rug, I always wanted to keep bringing up problems and finding a resolution. But this time I guess I just brushed it under the rug for a change, because I already knew that it was my own fault, so there was no point in blaming her at all, I just took the responsibility of that event as my own fault and was grateful that she didn't hold anything against me either.

I'm happy you got to see your twin!! I don't know your situation entirely nor how easy it is for that to happen. I know you left off saying you wanted to or were trying to. So thats awesome! I'm so, so happy for you and that it was able to happen!

If she can read your thoughts, can you read hers? Thats really awesome nonetheless. I mean... the situation is very spiritual so asking for help from above mentally is fitting. I'm not sure how much she knows about whats happening but I don't think she'd judge ya.

I commend you for not putting blame on your twin. Theres always two-sides to every situation (in general, beyond this TF/SM dynamic)... but understanding the role you played is respectable. Being able to see where you went wrong (which imo, I don't see but I know there is more to your story and I appreciate what you have shared) is very mature. So kudos. That really does help bridge a better, peaceful union I think. I'm happy for you.

Also... update on me: I unblocked him from our main social media platform. But I have not friended him. I just want him to know that I really haven't shut him out 100%. That I too have done wrong and blocking him was hurtful even. I know theres so much more I should do. But I'm going at the pace right now of not adding anymore 'pettiness' and starting school on Tuesday. Thats daunting enough for me.

[intj123]

Originally Posted by cosmic444

I'm happy you got to see your twin!! I don't know your situation entirely nor how easy it is for that to happen. I know you left off saying you wanted to or were trying to. So thats awesome! I'm so, so happy for you and that it was able to happen!

If she can read your thoughts, can you read hers? Thats really awesome nonetheless. I mean... the situation is very spiritual so asking for help from above mentally is fitting. I'm not sure how much she knows about whats happening but I don't think she'd judge ya.

I commend you for not putting blame on your twin. Theres always two-sides to every situation (in general, beyond this TF/SM dynamic)... but understanding the role you played is respectable. Being able to see where you went wrong (which imo, I don't see but I know there is more to your story and I appreciate what you have shared) is very mature. So kudos. That really does help bridge a better, peaceful union I think. I'm happy for you.

Also... update on me: I unblocked him from our main social media platform. But I have not friended him. I just want him to know that I really haven't shut him out 100%. That I too have done wrong and blocking him was hurtful even. I know theres so much more I should do. But I'm going at the pace right now of not adding anymore 'pettiness' and starting school on Tuesday. Thats daunting enough for me.

No I can't read her thoughts, well sometimes I get hunches though(it's how I found out she was dating someone when she was hiding it), she's like an advanced reader and I'm like a novice. I didn't get the chance to have long deep conversations with her. Something weird would happen in the beginning when we were about to have a long talk I would just leave even though I had nothing to do.....so weird....

However in the many brief encounters I've had, I was able to decipher her personality, the ENFP. They are one the least judgmental personalities out there. It's the other way around, I'm the one who was judgmental and she did not like that about me at all.

You are right there is much more to my story but most people simply can't relate so I don't bother telling it. I end up looking crazy even to other twin flames haha.

You are probably not too deep into your journey yet if you have not experienced a lot of triggering, fights, and mirroring yet.
The drama would probably affect your focus on your schooling to be honest, you might be better off waiting, but it really doesn't matter, whatever happens we will end up alright.