unrequited love

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by Akira

Hey there
Hasn't everyone experienced unrequited love at one time or another. It's almost of rite of passage and your lucky if you have not been stung by it. I wonder about them sometimes. Nothing like my tf who I thought of all the time, but I think that it's just part of growing up. We gotta be careful that we don't confuse some of growing up with a tf/sm/sc etc ... I dunno it's life. It's being human and it's living and breathing and fighting to be the best you can be. These experiences are sent to us to help us grow. Whether we like them or not...!! There was this guy at Uni that I adored too, but things never took off there either as I was destined to be with another.. It is what it is, we can do it. To be spiritual is to be strong and to be able to experience the chaos but still be strong...

This is how I see it ...
Akira

I didn't learn anything from being rejected. It reinforced my darkest beliefs about being unlovable and I went on the depression journey instead. When I was able to pull myself out of the funk and get on my healing journey it was actually a catharsis and I did eventually grow from it. My unrequited love went on to get married and have a family, he is now divorced, but I am not drawn to wanting to be with him. I know I am much stronger now and I may have dodged a bullet by not getting what I wanted.

[calineee]

"I didn't learn anything from being rejected. It reinforced my darkest beliefs about being unlovable and I went on the depression journey instead. When I was able to pull myself out of the funk and get on my healing journey it was actually a catharsis and I did eventually grow from it. My unrequited love went on to get married and have a family, he is now divorced, but I am not drawn to wanting to be with him. I know I am much stronger now and I may have dodged a bullet by not getting what I wanted."

I disagree with that statement!, I think the rejection put you on a road to learning and empowerment, you would never have experienced your healing journey without it. In fact it has changed the person you were to the person you are now. Every experience good or bad is an opportunity to learn a lesson.

I think many of us will have experienced unrequited love. Painful.

But it is important to instigate things by yourself. Don't rely on others
intervening on your behalf and if you seek advice from others, measure it
carefully. The signs of one's love or passion should be fairly clear - it's
rarely about words alone - usually they're a secondary indicator. If over a
reasonable period (and a couple of years would seem a very reasonable one)
you get no positive response or acknowledgement, then he really isn't for you.

It's always possible a guy may be shy and/or withdrawn but there'd be cues
and you have to find a way to break the ice if you feel he may
be interested. In this situation, regrettably it's "you win some you lose some".
Important not to raise hopes about people or yourself.

Hopefully you can heal rapidly and move on.


....

[hineahuone]

thanks for all the replies. I cannot answer all individually, but they all resonate with my experience. I am putting a lot of those past lives away as I prepare myself for union with my twin. I feel relaxed about it all, this is nothing like how I used to feel with men in the past. I was very insecure with myself.

[Delay_Reaction]

Had experienced this with my best friend in high school.

I loved her so much. I told her at graduation (i'm such a dumb romantic), and she said she was interested, but currently going through a break-up.

I was ecstatic but also heartbroken that we couldn't be together.

I chased her everywhere. After high school, we studied at different universities. So I transferred to be at the same school as her.

Experienced more heartbreak. More chasing and pining from me, but very little action was taken. I was too afraid to lose her as a friend, so my heart continually broke.

For the next 5 years or so, I had unrequited love for her.

Finally when she got engaged, I decided to let her go. It was an instantenous decision, but one of the best decisions of my life at the time.

She was stopping me from ever getting into a relationship. Once I stopped pining over her, I was able to meet new people and finally start my life.

We are still friends to this day (she's now married with a child), but I'm well over her.

Looking back, I still fell into the same patterns with others later on, albeit with people who were actually interested in me.

I started my spiritual journey in 2011, so I knew about the twin flame concept for a while, but only started applying it recently.

My current TF is the one who I feel has challenged me the most, and caused me to grow. In only a few short months, I have learned more than I have in the previous 15 years of relationships I've been involved in.

[hineahuone]

[quote=calineee]"I didn't learn anything from being rejected. It reinforced my darkest beliefs about being unlovable and I went on the depression journey instead. When I was able to pull myself out of the funk and get on my healing journey it was actually a catharsis and I did eventually grow from it. My unrequited love went on to get married and have a family, he is now divorced, but I am not drawn to wanting to be with him. I know I am much stronger now and I may have dodged a bullet by not getting what I wanted."

I disagree with that statement!, I think the rejection put you on a road to learning and empowerment, you would never have experienced your healing journey without it. In fact it has changed the person you were to the person you are now. Every experience good or bad is an opportunity to learn a lesson.[/QUOTE

I didn't learn anything initially, it was just the catalyst for my depression that was caused by not dealing with unhealed issues from a previous relationship. The rejection itself reinforced my belief that I was unloveable. I have worked on my self esteem issues for many years since then and had many more rejections as well. I am not sure I have grown that much. I am now in a similar situation as my twin went back to his ex while we were in seperation. So essentially he is rejecting me too.

[LadyShadow]

I experienced this 10 years ago, it hit me so deeply. It was an abusive relationship in which for 5 years he told me "he loved me but wasn't in love with me" Those words sting to this day. I suffered immensely and even tried to take my own life over him. Thank god I survived because I have experienced so much since then and I know what true love is now.

But would I like to have that chapter erased? Maybe, maybe not. He crosses my mind every now and then. This year will be his 50th birthday.......

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

I experienced this 10 years ago, it hit me so deeply. It was an abusive relationship in which for 5 years he told me "he loved me but wasn't in love with me" Those words sting to this day. I suffered immensely and even tried to take my own life over him. Thank god I survived because I have experienced so much since then and I know what true love is now.

I am glad you did not take your life. I have felt suicidal once over a lover, but by then I had children and was a sole caregiver, so they kept me here. I would not contemplate it now as the grandkids are also in the picture now.

[RedBasket]

I'm in that sort of unrequited situation, with the lady I love, who's not in the least interested in a loving scenario of any description...
Fell in love with her the moment I first saw her...
At least we're good friends

Robbie, does she know you love her? Are you sure she knows?

[Robinski78]

Originally Posted by RedBasket

Robbie, does she know you love her? Are you sure she knows?

Thanks for your interest RedBasket, but it's not quite as easy as that... Purely from conversations that have taken place, it's quite obvious that she doesn't want a relationship with all the trimmings...

But she's such good company and we get on so well. outside of the romantic, that I would never push the point in question... I know that might sound ridiculous, but I'm not the pushy type, plus the fact that it wouldn't be right to go against a ladies wishes... Some might even consider it as harassment to do so...

No, I'll stay content to let things stay as they are and enjoy that which is forthcoming... At least we've planned to go out for a meal... Smile....

Thanks again...

Robbie....