Sex post-twin flame: how does one ignite a lesser fire?

lunapixie · #1 08-05-2018, 01:43 AM

Hi,

I’ve been reading that many TFs choose celibacy over having to deal with something that will never measure up to what they experienced with their counterpart. Others go through the motions with new partners only to find themselves unfulfilled and riddled with guilt.

How was it for you when you finally decided to be with someone else? How did you cope with the constant pull of your twin while you were being intimate with your new person and, worse, the slow death of all your desire for your new mate?

Can one truly move on from twin flame sex, from a physical, emotional, spiritual connection that completely transcends all “normal” parameters of a relationship? Why even bother to connect with someone new if we know that the intimacy will always fall short of the miraculous experiences we had with TF?

No one wants to wait for their twin to come back. But nothing feels as good as being with twin. What to do... and how to be fair to the new person in your life?

jro5139 · #2 08-05-2018, 11:31 AM

I decided to start dating because I wanted to truly get over tf and move on and it just wasn't fully happening while being single. I can see the pull to just remain celibate though, it's so much easier, lol. I am a little concerned that being single allows me to be a bit stagnant in some ways.

I have dated a couple of guys recently. Since trying to do this, I really understand why I used to always hear people say "relationships are so much work". I think that when you try to date someone that is not a soul connection, it is a lot of work. It's work and hard for me to even send the new guy a message. I really have to push myself into doing it, cause to be honest, I have zero desire to send this new guy a message. But I know if I don't, it won't last long.
It's just that I'm so uninspired when I talk to him, our conversations are so boring. But it took me forever to find him, since dating online doesn't work for me and I have to wait until I find people organically.
So to be honest, I think having another relationship is good for me, it's just so hard to get one off the ground because relationships (with a non-soul connection) are so much work lol.

Aldous · #3 08-05-2018, 11:48 AM

Ah, love.
https://vimeo.com/56718357

ssdm1 · #4 08-05-2018, 12:55 PM

Once I moved on from my twin decades ago and dated, I just felt repulsed at any other man touching me. I didn't want it to be that way. I never hoped or waited for my twin to come back, I thought I'd never see him again. And understand I knew nothing about twin flames so that was not coloring things.

The one man I did fall in love with I recognized that the love I felt for this man was different from what I felt for my twin. As decades had gone by I just figured I was feeling a more "mature" love. When my twin did come back in my life I learned differently. The love I have with my twin, physical and emotional, is like nothing else.

Either you go through the motions, feel the best you can for someone else just to be in a relationship, or you choose to be strong in your own company. For me I have now accepted that I will not know love again like I have with my twin. My twin is in my life as a good friend, and that's all he will be. I have made a good life for myself and am happy in it.

soul.cimmerian · #5 08-05-2018, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jro5139

I think that when you try to date someone that is not a soul connection, it is a lot of work. It's work and hard for me to even send the new guy a message.

This is what I wanted to say too. :)

Aldous · #6 08-05-2018, 05:26 PM

Topic:i had sex with another man, and all i could think of was my twin!! please help, why am i not allowed to have another man????
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/twin...cea-t3518.html

FairyCrystal · #7 08-05-2018, 11:13 PM

I think you have to take into account that sex is always different with every partner. It can also happen that you had a relationship for 10-20 years or longer that went wrong in the end, but the sex in that relationship was brilliant, just like you wanted it. Then you also have to get used to finding another great lover.
Every person has something else to offer, you have a different connection with each partner, there's so many tiers of love and yet they are all love and you are in love each time otherwise you wouldn't go there to begin with.
If you already start out with the conviction "It can never be as good anymore" you are bound to get disappointed.
I for one need a real good sexual click with a man, as I am very sexual myself. I could not fall for someone -or remain in a relationship with someone- if that didn't work out. By which I mean to say that if I fall in love again with a man the sex part is likely to work out, or the relationship would be doomed anyways.

Apart from that, I had frigging amazing, almost freaky experiences during sex with my 'false' twin flame. It's not like great, amazing sex with such experiences can only happen with your TF.

I think you will be bound to go wrong if you start out with the conviction it cannot be as good. You make it a self-fulfilling prophesy.

FairyCrystal · #8 08-05-2018, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jro5139

I decided to start dating because I wanted to truly get over tf and move on and it just wasn't fully happening while being single. I can see the pull to just remain celibate though, it's so much easier, lol. I am a little concerned that being single allows me to be a bit stagnant in some ways.

I have dated a couple of guys recently. Since trying to do this, I really understand why I used to always hear people say "relationships are so much work". I think that when you try to date someone that is not a soul connection, it is a lot of work. It's work and hard for me to even send the new guy a message. I really have to push myself into doing it, cause to be honest, I have zero desire to send this new guy a message. But I know if I don't, it won't last long.
It's just that I'm so uninspired when I talk to him, our conversations are so boring. But it took me forever to find him, since dating online doesn't work for me and I have to wait until I find people organically.
So to be honest, I think having another relationship is good for me, it's just so hard to get one off the ground because relationships (with a non-soul connection) are so much work lol.

Sounds like you're really not dating the right guy for you...
A relationship doesn't have to be hard work, nor should it be. That isn't even related to a TF. You often feel it is like that when you're not over the past yet, not totally healed. Then you still feel that you can't ever have something that good anymore.
I'm also still in that stage, sort of, so I'm not dating yet. In a way I also feel it would help me heal, but in another way it won't as it will only remind me of what I've lost.
But, I also went through a similar thing after the relationship I had before. It always takes getting used to. Finding out you lost the familiarity of what you build up with a partner over the years. Suddenly having to explain things again.
But I've also learnt that this usually is a) you're not totally ready yet and b) it's not the right guy.
A relationship should be inspiring, even if it's on a different level as with a TF.
And saying it's hard work when it's not a soul connection... every love relationship is with at least a soul mate. So it's always a soul connection. If it's not the right guy, then he's just there to make you see that or to help you learn another lesson. But he's still a soul mate.
It's only hard work when with someone who's not what you're looking for or want and when you're not ready yet.
Maybe just wait a bit longer. By staying in this relationship you may end up hurting yourself even more.

ForgedInFire · #9 09-05-2018, 01:48 AM

With self defeating thoughts of that no one will ever surpass a tf will remain to be afraid to ever bother looking. How can you know if you never try? In fact there are numerous people out there now who claim to have had a more superior connection then anything their twin flame ever was with several other people afterwards.

gypsymystique · #10 09-05-2018, 02:14 AM

All the friends that I had who were truly sexual were able to be fulfilled in other ways by people who were not their twin flames. They were all afraid they couldn't move on before taking that first step.

I suggest trying it.