Can you give me feedback on my application letter for a social work internship

[Dreamer_love]

Hello everyone,

Can you help me out with this application letter I wrote for a internship position at The Heritage School in India. This school teaches children from an experiental pedagogical view- which is pretty cool.

I would like to do my internship there to learn more about their workmethod and also to learn with teaching children. The thing is though- I don't have much experience in working with children so far, all though I want to specialize in this field.


What kind've impression does this letter give you and can you help me with any grammatical mistakes??

Thank you so much!!

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Dear Sir/Madame,
I would like to apply for an internship position at The Heritage School for the study year 2016-2017. I learned about your school through the disha India organization while I was researching educational principles for experiential and holistic learning.

After reading the teaching principles and method of The Heritage School I got very inspired and most of all happy to find an authentic school existing and doing this wonderful work of helping educate humanity. I feel as if the Heritage School is the quintessence of the vision of what I set out to establish in Europe. The Schools teaching principles fit perfectly with my own experience and understanding of learning and sharing/creating knowledge.
One of the key factors that I hold very dear is openness in thinking and appreciation of diversity in culture, abilities, religion, caste, gender and nationality. Therefore it very much speaks my heart that The Heritage School encourages diversity and creativity.

In the past I studied International Business Studies and have worked for businesses in big European cities. In my personal experience I have tasted how poor the supposedly high-end education actually is and felt something very elementary missing. So I stept out of the mainstream education and work system in my late teens. I decided to travel, meditate and go on silent retreats. Here I discovered the value of holistic living according to the Nai Talim principle and how imbalanced I was educated. In my last retreat I felt the inner calling to become a teacher and help future generations grow into whole and authentic human beings and decided to enroll again as a student to change the future of education.

Currently I am 26 years old and majoring in pedagogical social work at Stenden University in The Netherlands. For the final year of the bachelor’s degree I have to follow a ten month internship and write a thesis about a local social subject. The work placement is from September till July, at 32 hours a week. For the development of my skills in pedagogy the guidelines require atleast once a week supervision from a mentor.

My aspiration for the future is to research and evolve education so that it becomes an integrated basis of the larger community. In order to do this I plan on doing a Master’s in the pedagogical and educational sciences. This will give me the tools to apply the principles learned from the internship in the context of the European community and history. On the other-side I like to my options available for other opportunities in which I can share my knowledge and gifts.

Outside my study in Social Work I volunteered as a Vision Quest guide for two years after having done the process myself. A Vision Quest is for ceremonially passing youths into adulthood by guiding them into a four day solo wilderness experience without food or shelter. In addition I have volunteered in the role of refugee coach and mentor for Humanitas, a non-profit organization that empowers the vulnerable. My interests lie in the science of self-realization, biology and education. Because I believe that change starts with one-self, my desire to free and empower humanity, has led me to study my own nature. I have done a few solo fasting retreats in which I was present with myself and my deeper nature. Other than this I enjoy sports, movies, reading and writing.

An internship at The Heritage School would help me evolve, both professionally and personally. Professionally the internship would help me learn the practicable applications of the learning method and help me understand the learning process it invokes as I become the student of the students. In addition the immersion in a new, rich, cultural context is a wonderful opportunity to open my mind and heart for expansion.

What I can be involved in is working with children and teachers in craftsmanship, arts and music, and taking part in expeditions. I believe it is important to invest in building friendships with children, families and teachers. Therefore, if possible, I preferable would like to be assigned to a certain group.

I feel confident and qualified to take on the challenges this internship offers. I am eager to demonstrate my talent in education and pedagogy within a school that is committed to authentically educating children and the broader community.

I will be very glad for an opportunity to meet you and further discuss the possibilities of working together at your most convenient time. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Very truly yours,

[Dreamer_love]

please :):)

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by Dreamer_love

Dear Sir/Madame,
I would like to apply for an internship position at The Heritage School for the study year 2016-2017. I learned about your school through the Disha India organization while I was researching educational principles for experiential and holistic learning.

After reading the teaching principles and method of The Heritage School I was very inspired and quite happy to find an authentic school existing and doing this wonderful work of helping educate humanity. I feel as if the Heritage School is the quintessence of the vision of what I set out to establish in Europe. The Schools teaching principles fit perfectly with my own experience and understanding of learning and sharing/creating knowledge.
One of the key factors that I hold very dear is openness in thinking and appreciation of diversity in culture, abilities, religion, caste, gender and nationality. Therefore it very much speaks to my heart that The Heritage School encourages diversity and creativity.

In the past I have studied International Business Studies and [omit:have] worked for businesses in big European cities. In my personal experience I've seen how poor the supposedly high-end education actually is and felt something very elementary was missing. So I stepped out of the mainstream education and work system in my late teens. I decided to travel, meditate and go on silent retreats. Here I discovered the value of holistic living according to the Nai Talim principle and how imbalanced my education had been. In my last retreat I felt the inner calling to become a teacher and help future generations grow into whole and authentic human beings and decided to enroll again as a student to change the future of education.

Currently I am 26 years old and majoring in pedagogical social work at Stenden University in The Netherlands. For the final year of the bachelor’s degree I have to follow a ten month internship and write a thesis about a local social subject. The work placement is from September till July, at 32 hours a week. For the development of my skills in pedagogy the guidelines require at least once a week supervision from a mentor.

My aspiration for the future is to research and evolve education so that it becomes an integrated part of the larger community. In order to do this I plan on doing a Master’s in the pedagogical and educational sciences. This will give me the proper tools to apply the principles learned from the internship into the context of the European community [omit?:and history]. Also, I wish to keep my options open for other opportunities in which I can share my knowledge and gifts.

Outside my studies in Social Work I have volunteered as a Vision Quest guide for two years (after having done the process myself). A Vision Quest is for ceremonially passing youths into adulthood by guiding them into a four day solo wilderness experience without food or shelter. In addition I have volunteered in the role of refugee coach and mentor for Humanitas, a non-profit organization that empowers the vulnerable. My interests lie in the science of self-realization, biology and education. Because I believe that change starts with oneself(?), my desire to free and empower humanity, has led me to study my own nature. I have done a few solo fasting retreats in which I was present with myself and my deeper nature. Other than this I enjoy sports, movies, reading and writing.

An internship at The Heritage School would help me evolve, both professionally and personally. Professionally the internship would help me learn the practicable applications of the learning method and help me understand the learning process it invokes as I become the student of the students. In addition, the immersion in a new, rich, cultural context is a wonderful opportunity to open my mind and heart for expansion.

What I can be involved in is working with children and teachers in craftsmanship, arts and music, and taking part in expeditions. I believe it is important to invest in building friendships with children, families and teachers. Therefore, if possible, I would preferably be assigned to a certain group.

I feel confident and qualified to take on the challenges this internship offers. I am eager to demonstrate my talent in education and pedagogy within a school that is committed to authentically educating children and the broader community.

I will be very glad for an opportunity to meet you and further discuss the possibilities of working together at your most convenient time. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Very truly yours,

some edit thoughts are red highlighted
does "one-self" hold significant meaning for you?
(as opposed to oneself)

[Dreamer_love]

Thanks for the feedback HORACE! I will send the email today

[Gem]

I suggest you read their website carefully and demonstrate in your letter that understand their key principles. For example, you could say that you want to encourage children to explore, reach out and seek answers for themselves - that sounds like they say on their site.

Phrasing that they use, such as "systematic and holistic education" can be included in your letter, for example.

If you word your letter in their language, they will know you have taken time to research them, and they will relate closely with what you say.

You probably need to write the letter several times to make it sound just right. Get someone else to proof read it, like a Social Work teacher might be perfect for that.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by Gem

I suggest you read their website carefully and demonstrate in your letter that understand their key principles. For example, you could say that you want to encourage children to explore, reach out and seek answers for themselves - that sounds like they say on their site.

Phrasing that they use, such as "systematic and holistic education" can be included in your letter, for example.

If you word your letter in their language, they will know you have taken time to research them, and they will relate closely with what you say.

You probably need to write the letter several times to make it sound just right. Get someone else to proof read it, like a Social Work teacher might be perfect for that.

sound advice

[Timothy]

Awesome letter!
I found some interesting opportunities on the W.O.O.F websites (Workers on organic farms) including want-ads for the health sector on tea plantations.