Speaking My Truth? Me??

Wow, the changes are happening! I almost can't even believe this! I am literally floored now. I have never been able to not care about what others think of me. I was always trying to please everyone and make them think I was perfect--perfect friend, mom, person. And now, I actually think I don't care. It's like night and day.

I think it just pretty much happened in the last few days, too, which is also dramatic. I wonder if it's a phase or if it will stick?

I am, unfortunately, feeling impatient and intolerant of others who can't do this, which is something I hope to find balance about. But, I can honestly say I am cured of my need to please! I want to cry! It's very freeing.

Anyone else notice this specific change? I don't care if people think I'm mean for putting myself first. If they can't deal with it, oh well.

I really want to tackle my body image stuff next! I wonder if I have a choice about which areas I want to improve. Like, can I choose the order? LOL!

Anyone else want to share how this journey has changed you? I'd love to know!

Do the changes stay for life?

Mine kind of happened the other way around. I suddenly decided enough was enough? I've helped myself with my body image, I've gotten back into playing music despite ridicule from my ex partner, I've bought the same clothes I love wearing but haven't for a while, if people don't like me for who I am I felt stuff them!!
THEN my TF suddenly showed up after 13 years. I believe if we'd have gotten together back then or became close I wouldn't have had the experiences I have had to make me me. And realise that I don't need someone else to be reliant on.

I definately learnt my lesson and I'm glad you've stumbled accross this too :) happy for you!!

Originally Posted by shinofra

Mine kind of happened the other way around. I suddenly decided enough was enough? I've helped myself with my body image, I've gotten back into playing music despite ridicule from my ex partner, I've bought the same clothes I love wearing but haven't for a while, if people don't like me for who I am I felt stuff them!!
THEN my TF suddenly showed up after 13 years. I believe if we'd have gotten together back then or became close I wouldn't have had the experiences I have had to make me me. And realise that I don't need someone else to be reliant on.

I definately learnt my lesson and I'm glad you've stumbled accross this too :) happy for you!!

I can see what you mean, for sure! I had another SC many years ago and after our break up, I really pushed inside myself. After having kids I lost myself a lot. A LOT! As much as I always told myself I would never do it again, I totally did it. It was just too hard for me to stay in the moment and remind myself to not lose myself when I was under constant attack from sleep deprivation and trying to be the best mom, comparing myself to all others, etc. So, my TF came and it was like, "Time to do this, woman!" No joke! He has literally pushed my *** into overdrive.

And, now that I am not in his head so much anymore, I can actually see myself taking care of me now for the first time in a VERY long time.

Awesome! So happy! And I'm happy for you too. We are better humans when we take care of ourselves first through our alignment with our higher purpose. No doubt about it.

Originally Posted by ksjm33

Wow, the changes are happening! I almost can't even believe this! I am literally floored now. I have never been able to not care about what others think of me. I was always trying to please everyone and make them think I was perfect--perfect friend, mom, person. And now, I actually think I don't care. It's like night and day.

I think it just pretty much happened in the last few days, too, which is also dramatic. I wonder if it's a phase or if it will stick?

I am, unfortunately, feeling impatient and intolerant of others who can't do this, which is something I hope to find balance about. But, I can honestly say I am cured of my need to please! I want to cry! It's very freeing.

Anyone else notice this specific change? I don't care if people think I'm mean for putting myself first. If they can't deal with it, oh well.

I really want to tackle my body image stuff next! I wonder if I have a choice about which areas I want to improve. Like, can I choose the order? LOL!

Anyone else want to share how this journey has changed you? I'd love to know!

Do the changes stay for life?

Hey ksjm33. This is exciting! My first thought was, "Hey ... did she just turn 50??"

It certainly sounds like you have come into your own. I am coming up to the big 5-Oh in May, and I have been experiencing a lot of what you share here- including the body image. I have an apptmt to see a physiologist (I have CFS/ME fibromyalgia which prevents me from exercising "normally"), and a counselor to look at my emotions behind my binge eating, and a dietician to help me plan healthy AND HOPEFULLY tasty menus. (Yep, thought I could do all this on my own - but here I am 20 years later still hurtin, overeatin, and bingeing!)

And yep - the perfectionism? Gonzo Alonzo for me. I am in the process of self-printing a book of short stories and poems, after being a closet writer for 40-plus years. Why? Cuz I don't care what others think! This writing is my TRUTH, sistah!

I've come a long way in disregarding what others think of me. Oh sure, there's pockets of anxiety here and there, and I think there always will be (cuz we is human); but for the most part I'm like: if you don't like it, look the other way, pal!

And since you've posted this in the SM/TF forum, I have to wonder: has there been any shifts with your TF lately? Cuz I strongly believe the TF relationship is about healing in a big way - and that's what it sounds like you have been getting into, either for the first time or for another round.

And no, dear - I don't think it ever goes away. At least I hope it doesn't! But how could it - it's you on a journey to touching your own soul! How could that ever end or go away?

Thanks for sharing! Woo hoo!

Hey, and just for further thought and a-ha moments along the line of giving/serving others, I recently had a counselor ask me this:

If you were on an airplane, and there is a child beside you, and all of a sudden the warning lights go on and the oxygen masks drop down from the overhead compartment, who do you put the mask on first; you or the child beside you?

I said, the child beside me. And the counselor asked, well what would happen to that child if you fainted from lack of oxygen? Who would take care of her?

This made me ponder. So now I think, I'd put the mask on me first - when I take care of myself, I am better able to take care of others. A-HA!