Twin Flames, Can You Be Friends? Do You Want to?

ssdm1 · #1 11-10-2017, 07:18 PM

There appears to be several of us going through a rough patch with our supposed twin, including myself.

I want to be friends with him, we have a long history, and I am glad he came back in my life. Then everything goes off course. He goes into a relationship, I question if I can be friends and watch this relationship. He's on my mind 24/7 no matter how much I want or try to get him out. Then there's the signs and syncs. When I try to move away a little, he comes running to me.

I'm doing my best to remain friends, to try and tame the feelings, but it's tough.

Who else can relate? What are you doing to handle it?

Eternal Flame · #2 11-10-2017, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ssdm1

Who else can relate? What are you doing to handle it?

Oh boy this is happening to me.

I'm married to someone else.

She's entering into a relationship with this dirt bag.

I'm like: That's fine, lets just get some space etc.

Tantrums and upsets and claims I'm not supporting her, and apparently I want nothing to do with her, because she's getting her own man etc.

The whole thing is nuts.

It's like yeah, I want to be your friend, but the Twin Flame connection is, to want of a better word: INAPPROPRIATE given our current relationship statuses.

You can't just pretend those feelings aren't there, while you are both with other people. At best it becomes an ongoing emotional affair.

But we don't hate each other enough to complete detach from each other lives.

Of course I know what the right thing to do is, that society tells us, and it's to just have nothing to do with each other.

But how do you completely walk away from a really good connection to another human being?

Emm · #3 11-10-2017, 10:28 PM

My own "tf" is 37 years younger than myself, I met him on his 16th birthday. The love I experienced was all consuming and had we been of similar age I too would have had a problem, not to say that it wasn't but that very early on I had to make sense of what was happening to me. The phenomena that came with it was what I focussed on...the OBE, telepathy, the energy between us and the big one Kundalini.

So friendship was all it could ever be but it was so much more than that, and there were many times I wished circumstances had been so different, but...and this is a big but...there was something about this that was NOT a human relationship. When we were apart the yearning to be near him was all consuming, and when we were in close proximity an other worldly experience happened every time....except for one time. It was like we were One being which felt very much like we were siblings or a close relative in some way, so the human romantic inclinations disappeared. It was only when we were apart my mind went into overdrive. Has anyone else had those feelings? I thought it might have to do with him being so young but I know now its not that. I have heard of this before and its why I have said in the past that together with attraction there is just as strong a repulsion...the runner and chaser syndrome or push and pull.

It took some very intense searching for answers to the deeper questions and not rely on wishful thinking through psychics and such like, I had to know how to live with this, I had family and loved ones to consider. I went on a spiritual quest, which was easier in some ways because now I was privvy with personal insight through the heightened energy...I didn't doubt what I was finding out because I'd experienced some of it for myself. Slowly things pieced together and I began to see a different reality to what's being printed out there. It made sense to me.

So when he eventually had to leave the country and go back to his own I was at peace. We remained friends, he invites me over to his country to see him and maybe one day I will. We converse every now and then, now not as often as we used to and I'm totally fine. If he had been here I know I would also be fine...it doesn't mean the connection is gone, it just means my mind doesn't romanticize it because I'm more aware of where the ego wants to go with this...and besides understanding helps big time.

I'm understanding that everyone's journey is different but I do think the destination is the same. Being friends is a good thing, but you also need to find out more about the why's of this energy to help you long term. Unless of course you can just let go of any needs and just Be...that can also work I guess.

Aldous · #4 11-10-2017, 10:59 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZMc0-ZAUeY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt_yKPNORLM

Inika · #5 11-10-2017, 11:34 PM

have you considered that he views you as his security blanket. you're there, you love him, that wont change, he knows it, so while he has you pegged on one corner, this allows him to explore and experience other relationships with other people. the moment he feels your energy wandering away , he's back to secure you back to the corner. It may really help his self esteem to know a woman loves and wants him. giving him the boost that maybe other womans will too.

i sometimes think we give people way too much power when they know they can come and go and you'll never leave either way. so you'll put up with crumbs.

FairyCrystal · #6 11-10-2017, 11:38 PM

I have been involved with mine for just over a year. And yeah, also not the easiest of times at the moment.
If it is to end, I doubt I will remain friends. Doesn't mean splitting would be bad. I've never split up with ill feelings and anger. But I do not remain friends with exes. Ever.
I don't see the point of being friends with someone I once loved to bits and wanted to share my life with. I don't get involved willy-nilly, I'm quite picky, hihi. Meaning when I do get involved I am also serious in where I want it to go: commitment, moving in together, the whole enchilada.
If that falls apart, it is too painful for me to remain friends, and once the pain has gone, I don't see the point. An ex is not a friend, he's a former partner. To me those are lightyears apart.

With a TF and not having been involved... I don't think I'd want to be friends either. I think that would only be like ripping open a wound again and again and again. I think it would slowly kill me. I feel it would be easier to just sever the ties and be done with it. The pain will be intense, but then you can start healing and getting over it. Not sure, but I think that'd be easier and less painful than being friends when deep down you want so much more.
And having to watch them be happy with someone else, pffff... Must be torture.

Inika · #7 11-10-2017, 11:49 PM

Quote:

I think that would only be like ripping open a wound again and again and again.

it is. stupid to heal. just walk away. hardest thing ever.but necessary in putting you first.

ssdm1 · #8 12-10-2017, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inika

have you considered that he views you as his security blanket. you're there, you love him, that wont change, he knows it, so while he has you pegged on one corner, this allows him to explore and experience other relationships with other people. the moment he feels your energy wandering away , he's back to secure you back to the corner. It may really help his self esteem to know a woman loves and wants him. giving him the boost that maybe other womans will too.

i sometimes think we give people way too much power when they know they can come and go and you'll never leave either way. so you'll put up with crumbs.

Yes, a mutual friend of ours said this same thing to me after observing he and I together.

Delay_Reaction · #9 12-10-2017, 04:28 PM

Friends with TF? Never.. and I say that with a heavy heart.

To know with absolute certainty who this person is without any masks, ego and society's ** and knowing that you both want exactly the same things in life and to not be able to be with that person in a physical, earth bound relationship?

Completely unbearable.

It would take some insane amount of Zen power to overcome this feeling.

The real "me" knows that what we have is the most beautiful connection in the world and that we are already together... so really, everything is perfect as it is.

Roxane9 · #10 12-10-2017, 04:58 PM

I have heard people very knowledgeable about tf say you cannot just be friends. i know for me i would not be able to if i had a real one. the one i thought was at moments when i was trying to figure something out - no way! ha i have no idea how someone could do that. and i do not see the point either.