Out of sight out of mind?!

[Beautywithin]

If someone truly values your friendship.. would they let this happen?!

I know we all have our own day to day things going on, but i have found in the past, if someone does not see you often enough, they just end up forgetting me or not making the effort to stay in touch anymore.. which i find sad as i don't like to lose contact with anyone who has had a positive impact on my life.

[Grace222]

I'm in a bit of my own thing regarding a friend, although more cataclysmic. But I do feel that we are sometimes meant to grow apart. It's not anyone's fault and not really a reflection on us or the bond we had with them. We are meant to meet all sorts of people and have many experiences, and sometimes bonds do have to disconnect or at least there must be more space between people to allow for that. I would feel terrible and feel insulted/hurt as well, but now, I feel thankful for those still in my life, even loosely, and am better able to bid others farewell and the very best as they grow away to whatever different road that lies ahead for them - and me. Of course I don't know what the case will be in your situation, but hang in there.

[springstorm]

Beauty, I think this is a rather normal occurrence, unfortunately. Any relationship takes effort from both sides. But if you add in the lack of visibility, contact tends to falter and wane--sometimes to nothingness. A true friend may not be in contact with you 24/7 but they will be the type of personality that when you do connect; either once a month, once a quarter, once a year or whatever, they are still the same person and it is like you just saw them yesterday.

Most of the time though, I think that once a person (or thing) is not present in a consistent manner, life-in general-takes over and that person that is out-of-sight ends up being less of a priority. I don't think it is a conscious thing on either side, it just happens as time goes on.

And you are correct, it is sad, especially if that person was a positive influence in your life. I have been surprised when people I really thought I would stay in contact with after changing jobs, moving, finishing a college class, end up disappearing from my life. And others, that I never thought I would stay in contact with still pop up from time to time. And if they make that effort with me, then I reciprocate.

When someone I really appreciated disappears, I try to comfort myself with the fact that they had a purpose in my life, no matter how long I was able to hold onto them. I was honored that they were a part of my life.

But I also won't be the only one who always reaches out which goes back to the comment that all parties have to be involved or it just won't keep.

[shoni7510]

It is natural that as people grow old they also grow apart. I had a friend for 20 years and one day I dreamt that me and her have now reached the end of our road becuase from now we are taking separate paths and it happened like that in the past four years our contact dwindled to zero.

Originally Posted by Beautywithin

If someone truly values your friendship.. would they let this happen?!

I know we all have our own day to day things going on, but i have found in the past, if someone does not see you often enough, they just end up forgetting me or not making the effort to stay in touch anymore.. which i find sad as i don't like to lose contact with anyone who has had a positive impact on my life.

It's a sad fact of life that people aren't static, they change as the days and their experiences accumulate. They take on new things and earlier times start to fade. I sincerely understand you. I've had friends going back to schooldays, good friends, some of whom have helped me business-wise. I make a deliberate effort to keep in touch and usually we do - sometimes because of my efforts.

I don't want to let them go. They became and are still a part of my life. I do make new friends and I'd love to think of them adding to not replacing those I have.

Perhaps it's to do with age...I don't really know. Maybe we're developing along different paths. But I'm as guilty in some ways. I've been remiss. Perhaps there just isn't time in the day to keep up with everyone. I've tended to devote a lot of time to a soul-mate (same gender, nothing physical, just this colossal affinity) but she's speaking about getting pregnant - she's married, I'm not, and therein was a rift. We'll go on as friends but motherhood will change her as it does most women. Well, that's speculation but it has to be faced. I'll feel lost without her. Perhaps we have time yet.

But I feel it as you do - sad to know you're being forgotten.


♥