why do TFs have a hard time connecting with other people prior to meeting their TF?

[Eternal Flame]

In my experience there are 'old souls' and then there are 'older souls'.

But yes, any sort of maturity or giftedness brings with it, a need for a more deeper connection with people.

[happyhaunts03]

I don't know about anyone else, but even after meeting my TF, I'm still rubbish at interpersonal relationships. I mean, I'm better than I was before meeting him, but it's still not really something I'm good at. I do think, however, that it got easier because of specific lessons I learned from my TF about connecting and the importance of connection. So, I'm sure that has something to do with it.

[vis-à-vis]

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Originally Posted by Lorelyen

If you think you're in a stylised "new life" and want to go back to your old life, how do you roll back experiences since you left your old life? If you were giving up on something - let's say, a twin-flame belief, maybe a twin flame, you aren't exactly going back to your old life because in the time since, you've been exploring twin-flame beliefs and decided they aren't for you. You've learned something. ‬

Not too sure what twin-flame beliefs have to do with any of it and in the end the choices I made had little to do with twin either (he lives his own life without me purposely interfering with his energy) and it was certainly no “stylised new life”. Like I said it was a hellish and a then unwanted experience. What I did learn and now know was that I was dealing with pain from multiple timelines, not really current issues or ones which I’d faced in this lifetimes so the methods I had for dealing with any of it were fairly basic emotionally however awake I was compared to others in my life at the time. Then a few months after meeting him we had this 5 minute bubble love phase (or whatever they call it). Then suddenly it was purging fit that lasted for a few continuous and heavy years. Nothing to do with twin beliefs or stylisation unfortunately. I wish I had that kind of knowledge or control over it then.

I did had few breathers in that time, and all the learning to love more stuff that gets peddled was actually detrimental to my state of mind, so I never believed all the twin flame hype anyway. I found this site by googling ‘synchronicities with someone’ and realised that many people were struggling with the same things. I lurked for a few months and was actually afraid of the title “twin flame” so I called him a soul connection. It wasn’t until he came back and we spoke about what was going on together that there was a firmer idea of what we were... the mythical twin flame beast.


‪

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

‬Was that going back to your old life? The discovery of what sounds like unconditional love? Sounds a very new life.

I created this life for a reason and I needed to be totally focused on what was/is happening in it now which was exactly what I was doing before. Staying present is nothing new really, I was least present when facing my largest TF hurdles as I was being torn apart. That’s where it might be blurry to some as the distinction I have of then and now, back and forward has little to do with my external life and more to do with my state of being in that life situation. I am the same but different which is fairly common with anyone who is alive really. We all have demons in one form or another. And some are meant to adjust themselves to different vibrational levels not just the higher ones.

Apart from that may I ask why you feel so strongly about debunking the Twin Flame belief? I no longer follow or have any idea what it involves but if it’s the marketeers who are driving you to steer the followers away wouldn’t it be logical to target the culprits directly? Or do you do that also?

I’m just curious to know your motives that’s all. If it was me personally, and if it had nothing to do with me I would just let it be. Surely there are bigger things happening in the world to expose? Especially someone who seems to have a sound need for logic? The entirely illogical world of twin flames wouldn’t really appeal to me at all if I didn’t meet mine.

I won’t speak for everyone but in a more faithful tone these beliefs are often used by genuine twin-flamers as a crutch in dark times, myself included, but it’s definitely not the motivation behind those who are actually experiencing the phenomenon. So they do have their purposes at times. But much of it is frustrating and plenty untrue.

Originally Posted by vis-à-vis

‪

Not too sure what twin-flame beliefs have to do with any of it and in the end the choices I made had little to do with twin either (he lives his own life without me purposely interfering with his energy) and it was certainly no “stylised new life”.

I gave twin flame as an example. I could have said that if FOR EXAMPLE you are an SR71 pilot and want to go back to your Piper Cherokee (you can't roll back your experiences in the SR71)... There are millions of possible examples. I chose the one to accord with this forum section, is all.

Apart from that may I ask why you feel so strongly about debunking the Twin Flame belief? I no longer follow or have any idea what it involves but if it’s the marketeers who are driving you to steer the followers away wouldn’t it be logical to target the culprits directly? Or do you do that also?

I've often said here that "twin flames" are possible in very rare cases, where both believe the same thing and are able to exercise their bond naturally.

It's a belief, a doctrine. Everyone is entitled to their belief but from what I read so often here, some people have been misled. They've had their hearts broken, their hopes dashed. Some seem happy to fritter their current lives waiting around.

To me, the demands of a twin flame are a big ask. People, caught up in FOR EXAMPLE the romance of it may genuinely believe initially that their new mate is their twin flame - but then the romance runs dry, the sex (if applicable) becomes banal and there's little else (it seems for such a couple) to hold them together otherwise, one twin breaks away and we see the spiritually unhealthy fallout.

If I debunk it's some of the rubbish put out on the internet. I've said why several times.

I’m just curious to know your motives that’s all. If it was me personally, and if it had nothing to do with me I would just let it be. Surely there are bigger things happening in the world to expose? Especially someone who seems to have a sound need for logic? The entirely illogical world of twin flames wouldn’t really appeal to me at all if I didn’t meet mine.

Just a difference in how we look at things. As said, I see as much pain, anguish and despair here as I do joy. When you've invested a fair bit of emotion/hope into something that falls apart it's understandable. I would offer the support of a skeptic if it helps assuage someone's emotional pain. I'm not sure that at an individual level there are bigger things to expose than sources of potential emotional destruction.

My view is that spirituality, whatever it might be, is unique to us individually. "One's path is always one's own." Twin flame is an interesting departure. It involves two people one of whom wants the other to converge on their path. Rarely perhaps the two are already there. Since our flow of life experiences are never identical it'll take time to develop that convergence unless it's pretty superficial. In some ways it's like a religion - it's a pre-packaged system. You follow the doctrine or you aren't "a true believer". Of the million-plus versions of "the theory" (google, it's 8 million plus) certain features hold constant. Yet it isn't like a standard religion the twins ultimately make what they will of it. Which means it CAN become just a label; they don't follow the core beliefs at all. A spectrum, therefore. But there it is, two people on the same path, incrementally adjusting as they grow.

Rare when it happens.

Hope this makes some sense. Love as I have for the edit button, I have to be out the rest of the day!

Pax luxque tecum.

[Anne]

vis-à-vis ., as a long time reader in this forum I wish to comment it is good to see you pop-in.

Your text reminds me of the zen quote “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water”.
It resonates because I’ve found this to be true on my own journey.

It’s always been almost too easy for me to connect with others. One thing my ‘TF’ experience taught me was to examine my boundaries. I am grateful for the learning.

I appreciate the skeptics here. Emotional anguish is no laughing matter, and a balanced perspective aids those feeling unwell.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by vis-à-vis

I’ll just assume I’m the someone others on this thread are discussing because they “can’t believe” someone can go back to their old life. A few brief posts in such a long time and already being judged by some lovely however sanctimonious members. Regardless of the judgey vibe it’s nice to see some things don’t change on here. Although I somehow knew my first postings in a while would be questioned, probably because *shock horror* I have actually moved on from my Tf experience! I know, I know, unbelievable. So please stop reading now if this is hurting your eyes and soul to read.

I’ll also assume it’s telling that I never had the perfect little, wrapped in bows and sprinkled in fairy dust spiritual awakening which is often welcomed in the community. Sorry peeps but it wasn’t filled with yoga and meditation and spirit assisted love sessions like it’s suppose to be. It was actually kinda hellish. So yeah, probably not what a spiritual awakening is suppose to be according to the true + pure spiritualists and it’s definitely sitting raw and ugly in the wrong category of all the blessed spiritual wrongs. Actually.. how would a person as “deluded” as myself know where to put my own awakening really? Seems I totally forgot to renew my subscription! Ooopsies.

I should probably also apologise for using the word back in it’s degenerate glory. Another problem with my experience is that I’m actually aware that MY time (I choose not to place this awareness onto others whom experience their OWN and totally UNIQUE spiritual time-framed journey) or any time in my realm is not linear, so the cyclical back and forward of life’s motion are not really separated by much other than mind’s judgement or perception. Another thing which is not so easy to explain without the necessary open-mindedness or experience.

Aside from all of my partial attempts to explain one fairly complex and misused word.. no one actually asked or probably even cares what my going back entails, or the reasons behind my need to go back but I shall, if only to set the record straight so I’m not completely ousted by the court in of higher dimensions.

During my awakening I was being torn between two time-lines, I eventually needed to seperate myself from the tug of war and free myself from the (insert any description you relate to soul pain) . You see, I had a beautiful gift waiting for me and she is a feisty, strong willed and more precious than words little girl.

If I didn’t “go back” and had ran off into the sunset with all the bells & whistles ringing I wouldn’t have experienced the purest and truest love there is by having my daughter. If I hadn’t gone through what I had full circle she wouldn’t be here so it’s just unfathomable for me to now see the decisions I made in regards to my awakening as wrong. She knew to come when my heart was ready and for the years prior to having her, during my awakening especially, I definitely was not ready. My decisions and reasons won’t make sense to some but they were right and make total sense for me.

I’m no saint but my head is definitely not in the sand either. Funny how I can give off that impression but it’s probably the guard I put up when on this particular forum. The reason I keep social in rl is because I do help others around me having their spiritual crisis and have never been or looked down upon anyone for entering blind alleys (nothing wrong with them as I see it - learning doesn’t always manifest in ways of unicorns).

For the records, again, no offence to unicorns. But where’s that deluded unicorn meme when I need it!?! Brb...

My apologies for sounding like I was judging you, not my intent. I should have asked you what going back to your old life meant to you before speaking on it. What's important is that you find the life that makes you happy.
For me, this tf journey has expanded far beyond just deciding to be a tf or not. It has opened my eyes to the truths of what is really going on in the world, and most of it is far from pretty. But I think I'm far better off knowing the truth than not knowing and continuing to be the slave that I was before. You cannot deprogram your mind until you know what the programming was.

For me, going "back to my old life" would mean a job that I hated that was completely wrong for me, hating the human race, not knowing the truth about what is going on in the world or how anything really works and living in poverty. This tf journey has also lead me to my soul mission, which not only means a job that doesn't make me hate my life, but that is also fulfilling and service to others (very important to Ascension).

My spiritual awakening was far from rainbows and unicorns. It involved a dark night of the soul that put me through hell and lasted over a year. Even before meeting tf, I went through hell and back a few times. And the inner work that brings up every issue and block you've ever had in many lifetimes and is at times, excruciating. But then at the end liberates you and sets you free.
Once again, my apologies for sounding judgmental.


Now on back to the original topic of relating to others. Yes and no, I have made good friends in the past and even found a few members of my soul family (before tf). But relating to the general public is another issue. I'm still learning about this and right now, this is a big lesson I'm going through. Learning to better relate to people, this is one of my current lessons. I've come to a lot of understanding about people and that helps to get past the negative actions or energy. But I still have a hard time being in public.
Lately I've been thinking long and hard about whether I am anti-social or that my not wanting to be around people is justified (but their negative energies). This is sometime I am currently working on and becoming more socially active.
I did go through a period of solitude. But now I am finding my nitch with a couple of groups of like-minded people. So it's getting better.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

This may be the case. I probably looked at about 30 web sites over a couple of weeks; ranked in google in the order most people would find them. I posted some of what I found here.

I was alarmed by how many launched off with a supposition as if was a fact - often expressed in a way that suggested it was obviously a fact and the reader would be silly to think otherwise - and then built a theory around that. I was aware of the Theosophist Blavatsky and her "twin" Olcott. She was a spiritist medium until Olcott appeared whereon she changed her tune a bit. They developed the idea of twin rays. I really hadn't time to read through The Secret Doctrine. It's a bit heavy going and... yes, she did good work for the occult but went on the turn with Olcott. There are people in our local esoteric shop who opined about their work. I have no reason to mistrust their views since they are just views. But the current fashion seemed to start from here.

I came across a "twin flame matchmaker", readings for something like $120 and if you wanted the fully monty, $400 IIRC. LOL.

This split or partial soul thing cropped up again and again. Perhaps the "theory" has moved on a bit to become more palatable to those who want just to chain a suitable partner down. I did visit a specialist forum where a seriously strict dogma is "the law". The demands were huge and it isn't difficult to see why so many here run into trouble, declaring someone they've met and initially get on well with as their twin flame. It's a heck of a commitment. I wonder how many are afraid to inform the alleged twin in case they leg it.

To me, authenticity lies in both believing the same thing - or at least one being willing to be converted to the same thing.


Agreed. I can't see how anyone can "go back" to their old life anyway. You can't unexperience things so it can only be if they've deluded themselves into believing they've progressed from the checkpoint (so to speak) when they haven't, unless they've wandered up a blind alley.
So good to hear that things are on the up for you. That's development as I see it. We hit obstacles but find ways around them and take another step or two up.

All the best. Oh, by the way, I've had some contact with the Nag Hammadi - there's a big gnostic site on the web - but at the time was mainly interested the apocryphal gospels, convinced as I found myself that Jesus was Gnostic. Seems to be born out by Thomas' gospel.

Talk again.
Pax.
.

It's best to stay as opened minded as possible and realize that the truth is very layered. People run into trouble when the get stuck on any one belief or another.
Agreed that there is a lot of price-gauging going on in the spiritual community. As I go further and further down this path, I care less and less for the material world.
I'm aware of Blavatsky, I have actually read about half of the "Secret Document" and find it interesting. I hope to finish it soon, but it's difficult for me to find reading time right now. And the Nag Hammadi has my full attention, it's very interesting if you get the chance to read it. It does say in it that the original being was split in 2, but what that split actually means or what it involves is still open for discussion in my mind.
Talk again

[gypsymystique]

Originally Posted by traceyacey12

I didn't mean to say that your TF gifts you with a connection to others - in fact, I've never read that anywhere - just that you never really felt connected to people before meeting. (For me, meeting my twin flame has made me feel more okay about not relating to others - there isn't the desperateness to connect.) But I understand what you're saying. My twin flame seems to have close friends actually (from what I can tell from his social media) so I don't know how this applies to him. I, on the other hand, don't have real friends. I've had sort of shallow acquaintances that have fallen off since I started on this journey in 2012.

I might suggest you consider flipping your perception of that around a bit. Twin flames DO show you your true self - masculine or feminine you might not have appreciated or seen before. Perhaps, getting comfortable with those parts of yourself is lending to your new found ability to connect to others.

While I don't believe in "half" souls, I completely believe in parts of the self that we ignore or somehow become underdeveloped.

[hallow]

As I read the first post on this thread. I really started to think about mine or if I really had one. Being not really close to anyone except for my wife. I am not complaining it's the life I chose. But anyway, I scrolled down to the second post then in my face a name, the name of the person I was sitting next to at the moment, a client I take care of every day. Could he be? I don't know much about the twin flame idea.

Originally Posted by Anne

vis-à-vis ., as a long time reader in this forum I wish to comment it is good to see you pop-in.

Your text reminds me of the zen quote “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water”.
It resonates because I’ve found this to be true on my own journey.

It’s always been almost too easy for me to connect with others. One thing my ‘TF’ experience taught me was to examine my boundaries. I am grateful for the learning.

I appreciate the skeptics here. Emotional anguish is no laughing matter, and a balanced perspective aids those feeling unwell.

maybe I'm not phrasing it correctly - I too connect with people too quickly in a way. But they're not fulfilling relationships. I don't feel completely seen.