Why people fear being alone so much?

[ReturningMoon]

Hi everyone. I think often times people get into relationships because they fear loneliness. The thing is you could just be getting with somebody who is physically or verbally abusive.
You would be better off being alone in that case, but some people would rather that than to work on becoming the person that they want to be.
Why do you think that is?

[Native spirit]

Some people cant function without someone by their side
they have to be with someone good or bad


Namaste

[Gem]

It's about being worthy of love, and if no one wants you, feelings of unworthiness start to gain more evidence. If you can find someone who wants you, it's evidence of being worthy.

[ReturningMoon]

I think "being alone" would've been the better way to phrase it. I think people sometimes get into relationships for that reason instead of cultivating self love first.

[utopiandreamchild]

I'd be just fine wheather I was in a relationship or single.
Fine and dandy to me.
utopiandreamchild

[Starman]

I feel like it is programming, “you’re nobody until somebody loves you,“ and other social and cultural messages that people grow up with leads people to believe that they have to get married or at least be in a closely held relationship. Another part of that message says “you do not want to grow old alone.” There is a fear of growing old alone.

Social relationships are largely cultural and it depends on the country we were born and raised in, and if a person’s parents were traditional in that culture, or country. For a very long time single people in America were seen as aloof and irresponsible. It was thought that getting married and having kids helped a person mature and gain responsibility.

In my family of origin the boys were not considered men until they went into the military or got a very good job, and the girls were not considered women until they got married. This was the right of passage into adulthood in my family. Loneliness has nothing to do with being alone, there are people in relationships, marred, etc., who get lonely.

[Altair]

It is based on biological urges and fear. I think the two are intrinsically linked. I've heard people say all sorts of ridiculous things about it, like reproduction itself giving some sort of 'legacy' that you won't be forgotten. But how many of us can even tell the names of our grandparents of great grandparents. And who still cares about their kids when you pass over? Lets get real. Once we die this world becomes meaningless, regardless of what you leave behind. You have to carry on yourself.

If we reincarnate then it matters absolutely nothing whether we are alone or coupled. Reincarnation is the ultimate ''nothing actually truly matters'' red pill, because it's all just experience and everything would happen at the right time. You could be alone this life but have 4 marriages in the next.

[Gem]

I think loneliness a reasonable and natural emotion and everyone knows what it is because they have felt that way, so I wouldn't want to pathologise it, but the title and OP is specifically about the fear of being alone, and I'm assuming it's specific to romantic relationships. I think especially for younger folk, the thought of being alone for the rest of their lives is horrific. I don't fully understand why, but something to do with if no one loves you, are you lovable?

[Starman]

People in prison are punished by putting them in isolation as though isolation is a punishment. Although there are people who have emotional disorders from feeling isolated. Now just because a person is alone does not mean they are isolated.

What psychology calls “Egoistic Suicide” occurs when a person feels cut off and isolated from their community and everyone else, but again we can live alone and still be involved in our community, have friends, etc. Being alone does not necessarily mean being isolated.

Human beings are social creatures but that does not mean we have to get married or live with someone. Traditionally, in past times, many generations, grandparents, parents, and children, all lived in the same house; this may have been done for financial reasons, or for safety and security, but today there are more people living alone then ever before in recorded history.

In my opinion, no right or wrong in this.

[Altair]

Monkey see monkey do. You can read from many single people themselves they reason like ''Everyone in my friends group has a partner, it's time for me to have one too''. But what if you are contend being alone, or you meet other single people? It becomes a thing if you compare and feel out of place or a stranger in the crowd.

It's not merely a biological urge, it is also socially learned. Once people join that race it will be hard to accept time alone and make the best of it. You will become so used to defining yourself with another person. Other way around, if you are single, never lived together with someone, you become expert at being alone. Either way, it becomes very difficult and almost alien to imagine what it is like on the other side.