What does it mean when

What does it mean when you get The Star card in the relationship placement of two different spreads on two different days about a past relationship with someone who remains special to you that you haven't maintained communication with?

I'm not very good at interpreting Tarot Cards but, I like to try to do spreads when I'm wanting clarity or to get an understanding of things.

Anyone have any ideas?

[ravenstar]

I wonder if he's been thinking of communicating with you but not sure how? Or is it you that wants to communicate with him? With the Star, I get a sense of sharing... a soul to soul connection? It's also a time of remaining aware and of steadfastness. Trusting in the flow.

What do you think LotusBlossom?

I think I love what you are saying. It makes sense to the situation. Thank you for responding. I'm very grateful.

The desire for communication.. I wish it was coming from him. It's definitely coming from me. I would very much like to speak with him. It's been 2 years. I'd said something to him.. true to my Sagittarius self.. and wedged my foot directly in my mouth and upset him.

I have wanted to apologize to him for 2 years. I think it's partly selfish because it tears me up knowing that I said something to him that upset him and it would make me feel better to apologize. In the not selfish way because, I think he deserves the apology.

The second Tarot spread I did the last card was in the position of expected outcome for the relationship ..and it was The Star.

I can't tell you how validating it is to see you say "soul to soul". When he and I were involved I felt that we were connected deeply. At a soul level.

During these 2 years where we haven't spoken.. I've had numerous dreams that he's been in. Where I'm in a dark room.. all black.. or I'm alone in a room.. and he will come in out of nowhere and ask me how I am. Like he's checking up on me.

When those dreams first started he would stand a fair distance away from me and his demeanor would be a little distant. As the dreams happened over time ..each time he would be closer to me and eventually he wasn't distant in his demeanor. It always felt like he had really been there checking up on me.

There was one dream I had where he had given me a crystal to carry in my pocket with some others that I was carrying. I hadn't realized it was there until he asked me to open my hand and he pulled an aquamarine stone from the handful. There is more to that dream. It was a long dream. It felt so real. Like it had really happened.

Since my involvement with him I have dated others. I was even in love at one time. However, he is always close. If that makes sense. At times he feels further away. Almost to where I can't feel him. Either way the feeling around him is the same. It's almost like an intimate feeling.

I know this has to sound really weird. I just recently started thinking again about how I'd like to talk to him. That's when I decided I'd try my Tarot Cards again and see if I could get any clarity. For all I know The Star in the second spread means the way things are now.. is as they should be. I hate the thought of that but, there wouldn't be much I could do about it.

What do you think about all of this?

[ravenstar]

Hi LB,

Either there is something to this past relationship or perhaps you need closure? Have you tried writing a letter to him, 'not mailing it', but putting all your hearfelt emotions into it. Then reading it aloud and then either delete, tear or burn what you wrote? Have you thought of asking him through a meditation or even in a daydream like state to be forgiven for that day you blurted something out? Forgiveness doesn't mean he'll come running back into your arms.....it doesn't mean you did something wrong....forgiveness to me is a change of perception. It's an understanding of why things happened the way they did....we've learned from the experience and can now let go and in letting go, the energy that's been blocked can begin to move and heal.

If you closed your eyes and saw an image of him....and gently approached him....what's his reaction as seen in your mind? This will give you an understanding of what he's feeling right now and what inner work you need to do to heal.

We are all connected by bands of energy that link us all emotionally, mentally and psychically together. So as you think of him, an energy link is flowing directly to him.

I'd also do a visualization on the aquamarine crystal. Turquoise is a beautiful healing color, it is the combination of the heart chakra (green) and the throat chakra (blue), together they make a very 'communicative heartfelt connection'.

Something to the relationship or closure? Probably both honestly. I haven't tried writing him a letter. But, I do like that idea. It's probably going to be a really long letter. I feel like there is a lot that I'd say to him.

The thing is.. while I suppose closure would be nice.. or good.. I don't want to "get over" him per se. And I don't mean that in a smothering stalker like manner. I mean it in the context of what we shared was really special. I've had some very painful experiences in my life. And for awhile.. a long while.. I forgot what genuine, not selfish, healthy, happy, love felt like from a man.

The love he gave to me reminded me to look twice at myself and see that I am beautiful. It kinda brought me back to myself and away from so many painful experiences I'd had.

It was the way we were friends and talked and laughed and shared ourselves. It's hard for me to describe. All I know is he wanted me to be happy and if he was the one that made me happy he was even happier. It was just the kind of relationship that maybe it's just me.. but, it made me just want to have a little piece of it to remind me of what I learned from it. Not to hold a torch for him.. or to not let go of what doesn't want to be held. Just to remember the connection and how it impacted me. Because, it really did have an important impact on me.

Picturing myself talking to him.. that's ironic. I do that at night sometimes when I'm going to sleep. I imagine that he is standing alone. He's calm and I approach him slowly. It's always the same too.. he stands still and lets me come to him. He has no resistance or hostility. He stands silently looking right at me. And every time I imagine myself apologizing to him. Sometimes I'll take his hands and he lets me. Each time I say I'm sorry and I talk and he just stands quietly listening and then I fall asleep.

I know it sounds so high school but, before our relationship ended ..he being a musician wanted to play a song for me. Whatever I wanted. And I told him whatever it is that you want to say to me ..that's the song I want you to play for me. And he opted for a beautiful beautiful song that was about an enduring love ..no matter what happened. I still listen to that song occasionally. Not as often as I used to because, it does remind me.

The visualization with the aquamarine stone ..what sort of thing do you think I should try to visualize? Apologizing?

And thank you for taking the time to talk to me about this. I really do appreciate it.

[ravenstar]

Hi LotusBlossom,

I had a thought after our last discussion. What if with this 'soul connection', this person wants you to take in that love you feel for him and absorb that energy into your own being. In other words, all the things you love about him, love about yourself. Balance your own male/female qualities with his essence and yours.

Feel the love! In fact here's an idea you could use with the aquamarine. Bring his essence into yourself and feel all his energies now in you. Then hold the aquamarine to your heart....feel your heart open and flood with an overwhelming feeling of flow. Now let this love enter the crystal on a beam of green light or whatever color you prefer. Continue this until you feel the crystal is full of this love green energy. Now picture the person you've been seeing in your dreams come forward....and offer them the crystal. You don't need to apologize or ask for forgiveness....the love in this crystal will take care of that. Watch carefully what he does with the crystal.....if he says anything etc....this could be your answer.

Have you ever noticed that people notice you when your in love and don't when you aren't? It has been said, we are the most attractive when we are in love. What if you pulled this essence of this person into your being and felt the male/female yin/yang balance within you. What if right now you Love being in Love with you! Then pay attention to your dreams and be aware of how people look and talk to you. Do they notice that somehow you look different?

What do you think?

Wow Ravenstar. All I can say ..is wow. I have so many things I want to say to you. First of all thank you. Gratitude is very important.

As I was reading your post I felt something. When I was involved with this man ..and we would speak on the phone ..or I would think about him ..or if someone said his name ..I felt something. A very warm feeling in the center of my chest. It was beautiful and the only way I can describe it is it felt like love. It was strong and it would radiate. And it was so, strong that the warm feeling felt almost like a burning. A good burning. He and I were on again off again a few times. And even when we were off again I could feel that. That never changed. Until after that night when I said something and upset him. Then that feeling started to fade slowly until I almost didn't feel it. As I read your post ..I felt the feeling again.

It used to be I could feel him pulling my energy. Sometimes so strong I'd be leaning slightly to the side. I could feel it when he would think of me. I hadn't experienced that in any of my relationship I had. And I still haven't since him. And I'm a divorced 40 year old woman who has two young adult children.

What you are saying to me ..is resonating with me. When you talk about me absorbing his energy the word that comes to me is.. in a way a union. Not omg we're bound together forever like a fairytale. I always felt like he was trying to give me love and happiness. And in doing what you're talking about ..I feel like I'd be doing exactly that.. or rather ..receiving what he'd been trying to give me all along.

The thing that really blows my mind.. is the idea you have for the aquamarine stone. You see the dream I had that was long and included him giving me an aquamarine stone.. has a very similar idea. In that dream there came a point where he and I and some of his friends were sitting around a bonfire on a beach at night. He was sitting behind me in the sand and I was leaning my back against his chest. He was talking to his friends about me. He was proud. He told them that I carried crystals in my pocket. And he asked me to show my crystals to his friends. So, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my handful of crystals. He asked me to explain to his friends what each one was and what each crystal did. So, I did. And at one point he interrupted me and all smiles told his friends how he'd gotten me one. I sat there thinking "he did? which one?". I watched as he leaned forward ..reached into my handful of stones and pulled out an aquamarine stone. I watched surprised because, I didn't realize it was there. He went on to explain to his friends that he'd gone to the store to get a stone for me. When he got to the store and was looking for the stone he was going to get me ..he saw the aquamarine stone. He said he liked it and when he picked it up he liked the energy in it so much for me that he decided to get that stone the aquamarine stone for me instead. He said that he decided that the energy in that stone was the energy he wanted to give me. I just sat there surprised. So, the idea that you came up with blows my mind.

Also, I decided years ago that I wanted to get a tattoo that symbolized the gifts I received having gone through the relationship with him. I told him about the tattoo. He liked the idea. I told him what the tattoo was going to be. He liked that too. But, now reading what you've written ..and thinking back on that dream ..I'm wondering if a tattoo of an aquamarine stone would be more fitting. It seems like it represents exactly what I wanted the tattoo to remind me of.

What do you think?

[ravenstar]

Aww, your welcome LotusBlossom. I'm glad we connected on a very spiritual level. It's been a real pleasure sharing and talking with you. It always amazes me how a dream tells a story behind the story. Sometimes too they highlight what's been overlooked. And you saw this.....You are definitely very perspective and spiritually very strong.

Your idea of the tattoo sounds really great! And most tattoo artists can design almost anything....all you have to tell them is how you want it. From your writing, you sound very creative! You could play around with it, try a few sketches and present it to the tattoo artist. Then he or she will share their own expertise and voila its uniqueness resonates with you.

You could inadvertently recreate a new Star Card! That's really cool! Do you have an idea in mind?

I'm glad we connected too! Your input has opened my eyes to new perspectives. You've been a great help and I'm very grateful. I have a couple of questions. Especially, considering your idea with the aquamarine stone. What do you make of the part of the dream I told you about? I'm very curious of your interpretation of it.

I'm asking because, your suggestion sounds like what he did with the aquamarine stone in my dream but, in my dream he gave the stone to me ..where with your suggestion I visualize handing the stone to him.

Also, when we'd be on again and I'd do Tarot spreads another card that would come up almost every time was The Sun. Three major arcana cards have repeated when I do spreads about he and I. The Sun, The Star and sometimes The World. What causes a card to continue to show up? And why when we'd be off again would I still get cards that were hopeful and not about me having hope.. or cards that were just in general positive cards? Sometimes I feel like I just need to know that he doesn't hate me for what I said. Oh! Something else that would show up either on a Tarot Card or just randomly ..would be the infinity symbol. Any ideas about that? I'm probably going to drive you nuts with questions lol. It's just so nice to have some input!

I don't really have too many ideas for the tattoo now. I for the longest time knew exactly what it would be. But, after having these conversations with you.. the aquamarine stone feels like a more fitting symbol. I was thinking maybe a heart.. to look like a heart shaped aquamarine stone. Not just a heart shape. I'm not sure. I'm going to look at pictures of aquamarine stones.. and jewelery ..and see if something jumps out at me. Oh! And thank you for the compliments !