Twin flame doesn't want to have many children?

[Heaven]

Originally Posted by Hope33

Hi Heaven! It's been quite the ride, I could tell you that much.
Hoping all is well with you! (((hugs)))

will catch up!

[RedEmbers]

I never wanted kids. I now have one biological child which is perfectly fine. I do have a mothering instinct just not a breeding instinct lol...I would happily get my tubes tied if the doctors allowed it. I have no biological yearning or need to reproduce.

I am almost 30 and know that usually if someone says that they don't want children ... they usually mean it.

In my case though I may be ok with the idea of adopting a child who needed a stable and caring home.

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

I am almost 30 and know that usually if someone says that they don't want children ... they usually mean it.

That's me... I knew from a young age (mid teens) and I know with certainty that my feelings on the matter will never change.

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

In my case though I may be ok with the idea of adopting a child who needed a stable and caring home.

That's nice....

[Blissful]

Originally Posted by Lance & Rite

I know a girl who I feel like might be my twin flame

Thing is, I have always wanted to have many children. Ideally five, at least. I feel like I could bargain down to four if I had to, the world is what it is lately. The thought of going down to three makes me blanche.

So I have an ex and she says she wants two children and might go up to three.

Anyone have any insights or suggestions?

Wow!! My first thought was like... he's saying it like he's asking for ice-creams!!! LOL

I'm sorry but you really need to become a parent of one child for 3 years before you decide on how many you want in the long run!! Give her a break on her thoughts on this, giving birth to and caring for 5 kids is no joke!!!

Its a beautiful thought to have so many and believe me I wanted 4 when i was clueless!!! After I had my second I had had enough though I did have second thoughts after a few years. The love we have for our kids can never diminish no matter how many we bear. This kind of love from loving human beings can be shared around too to other needy kids. Don't be disheartened. Focus on building a really great relationship with your spouse before thinking of even bearing kids is my recommendation ... take this from a single mother coping with two unrully but awesome kids!!

tc
-Blissful

[Bravery]

I do agree with the posters that have mentioned that having 5 children is really something to think about... I was going to say this in my first post, but I felt like I was bringing in too many of my own complicated feelings. Anyway. My mom has 5 children with my father. My father has always provided for us financially, but he is not exactly the most kind, loving person you will ever meet. I have a lot of anger and resentment towards him. I feel like he wanted to have as many kids as possible in the sense of having a collection, because he thought it was impressive or something to have more, more, more... but ultimately we had to pay the price.

There is so much of raising us that my mom has done without his participation, and in the past I have had to help out with the children much more than he has. I love kids, and I want my own children in the future (though not five), but honestly, it can be exhausting. With having a bunch of kids (or animals), it's incredibly important that they all be receiving the necessary care, and people aren't just getting carried away with wanting more, or something new, or holding up a certain image at the expense of the children (or animals). I don't mean to imply that this is where you're coming from, I just wanted to give a perspective from someone who has many siblings (I actually have more than the four mentioned).

[Lance & Rite]

Originally Posted by Bravery

I do agree with the posters that have mentioned that having 5 children is really something to think about... I was going to say this in my first post, but I felt like I was bringing in too many of my own complicated feelings. Anyway. My mom has 5 children with my father. My father has always provided for us financially, but he is not exactly the most kind, loving person you will ever meet. I have a lot of anger and resentment towards him. I feel like he wanted to have as many kids as possible in the sense of having a collection, because he thought it was impressive or something to have more, more, more... but ultimately we had to pay the price.

There is so much of raising us that my mom has done without his participation, and in the past I have had to help out with the children much more than he has. I love kids, and I want my own children in the future (though not five), but honestly, it can be exhausting. With having a bunch of kids (or animals), it's incredibly important that they all be receiving the necessary care, and people aren't just getting carried away with wanting more, or something new, or holding up a certain image at the expense of the children (or animals). I don't mean to imply that this is where you're coming from, I just wanted to give a perspective from someone who has many siblings (I actually have more than the four mentioned).

Thanks for your post, I have also been conflicted sometimes about how much I should be working. I'm in a field where people often work a lot. I guess that if I want to have many kids I need to be able to commit to being around often enough to take on a significant amount of the burden of raising them in a direct fashion, otherwise it will look as if I am just collecting them and making my wife do all the work... which is certainly not how I would want things to look. Making an income is also of course necessary but one of our challenges in life is trying to balance these things.

[Bravery]

Originally Posted by Lance & Rite

Thanks for your post, I have also been conflicted sometimes about how much I should be working. I'm in a field where people often work a lot. I guess that if I want to have many kids I need to be able to commit to being around often enough to take on a significant amount of the burden of raising them in a direct fashion, otherwise it will look as if I am just collecting them and making my wife do all the work... which is certainly not how I would want things to look. Making an income is also of course necessary but one of our challenges in life is trying to balance these things.

Thank you for your kind response and for understanding what I meant. I really appreciate that. In the case of my father, it's not so much about the amount of time that he works and more about him not being a very nice person. I think I would have had a very different experience if my father was a sweet, caring person that just happened to work a lot, but otherwise did his best to help out and spend time with us when he was around. I do agree that striving for balance is always ideal (though often difficult!). But I really liked how you said, "I guess that if I want to have many kids I need to be able to commit to being around often enough to take on a significant amount of the burden of raising them in a direct fashion"... just being aware of that is a very good start.