something i found on runners

It does sound like communication tends to be an issue with sharing experiences! Lol

Some can and do come across as needy and dependant, I think that is where the 'tough love' comes in from others who have moved past or never experienced that stage.

I tend to avoid addressing those situations if I can help it, as pretty much anything I say will be useless anyway. Lol I was quite obtuse and close minded when others tried to give me their view of my marriage, if one isn't ready to hear it they wont. Period.

The truth is its not up to me to make someone see the light, just show them that its possibly there somewhere. Its a stance I try to take in all situations, even if difficult. Lol

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by Docha

It does sound like communication tends to be an issue with sharing experiences! Lol

Some can and do come across as needy and dependant, I think that is where the 'tough love' comes in from others who have moved past or never experienced that stage.

I tend to avoid addressing those situations if I can help it, as pretty much anything I say will be useless anyway. Lol I was quite obtuse and close minded when others tried to give me their view of my marriage, if one isn't ready to hear it they wont. Period.

The truth is its not up to me to make someone see the light, just show them that its possibly there somewhere. Its a stance I try to take in all situations, even if difficult. Lol

alrighty then. i'll shut up and quit reading these "TF" drama threads.

IQ, I do wish youd be open to my POV. Ive said several times that I AGREE with a lot of what you are saying, BUT im also saying that there is more to it than that when FEELINGS are concerned. DONT "SHUT UP" there is nothing wrong with debating the issues. I never created "drama". Im sharing my POV.

Originally Posted by Internal Queries

alrighty then. i'll shut up and quit reading these "TF" drama threads.

[Kiki04]

I NEVER believed in Soul Mates or the ONE but I meet one and I RAN. I ran so quickly because I did go through a shock. It's interesting how well you have it pinned down. I certainly felt like I had gone crazy. :/ We're attempting to be friends now but it's always on and off. His choice not mine.
He comes back in August and leaves in December. I joked around with him that he seems to have a disappearing act pattern. >.< I hope he sticks around this time since I enjoy his friendship.

Originally Posted by mystical

Anyone with a level of spiritual awareness has trouble understanding how two people can experience a deep soul connection, share the bliss, joy and divine love that these relationships offer- only to have one partner run.
The mind, heart, soul… no aspect of our being comprehends this. Someone would choose to leave the most amazing thing that can happen between individuals? Yes, they do… we’re calling them Runners.
Runners seem to reach a road block. After a period of ecstasy and connection, the Runner leaves. It can be sudden, or there can be a gradual distancing. Either way, they leave the “aware” partner in the dust- shaken to the core and confused.
What we don’t talk about a lot- because there is little information on Runners, is that they experience a different kind of shock.
A Runner runs for complex reasons but an element they all have in common is that they are thrown-off by the intensity of the relationship. They do not have time to adapt, it’s there right off the bat, the whole ‘soul package’. They don’t intellectually understand it. They feel it, but that’s the problem. Their head and heart/soul are not in alignment.
These same people would be comfortable sticking around if it was no more than physical chemistry. They would be ok if it was only friendship. They would probably be ok if it had been a slow evolution from curiosity to lust to friend to relationship to “soul partner”.
What they can’t wrap their head around is that in one human being (their Soul-Mate/Twin Flame) they are presented with a package that includes all of those things- at the start. No effort required.
They can’t process how this can exist! Even if they believe in such a thing as an ideal soul-mate, they aren’t spiritually prepared to face him/her so they back off & artificially generate a “slow evolution”.
Think of it this way. If they did not feel the same intensity as their partner, they’d be there. Does that sound backwards? Going into shock makes people do things they wouldn’t do in any other circumstances.
Runners can’t seem to explain their own behavior. They don’t know why they act the way they do… if you can get them to talk while they’re in the heat of the confusion, you might hear “I’ve never acted like this in my life. I can’t explain it. I don’t know who I am anymore or why I’m behaving this way. This is not the man/woman I am. I don’t know what’s wrong with me”.
They seem aware they are not themselves but are helpless to stop.
It is a process. It’s tempting to call Runners stupid, isn’t it? What is obvious to us is confusing to them. What is joyful to us is frightening to them. They are fearful that what they feel is not real, that they are making it up & nobody could possibly love them that much. Surely it must be a trick.
They are fearful that if they say yes to a relationship, it could crumble and they could never recover. If they didn’t mutually love their Soul Mate/Twin Flame, they wouldn’t have the fear. Do you see? You can’t loose what you don’t choose.
So you see, while it seems ridiculous, the soul-shock a Runner causes is because they are in shock themselves.
If it gives you any peace, imagine your Runner interacting with anybody BUT you. In your mind’s eye see them. A normal person behaving normally, right?
Does this not tell you that either one of two things are happening? Either this is not your Soul-Mate/Twin-Flame and they are an idiot and you can be happy that they have left.
Or… this is indeed a high level Soul Mate/Twin-Flame whose soul did recognize you, but their mind needs time to catch up.

Last thing I'll say: "seeing the light" is literally different for each person. There is NO right and NO wrong in this situation. ONLY GROWTH, LOVE, and LESSONS! There is no possible way that it would be the same for everyone. Perhaps some that have "moved on": are repressing emotions, or perhaps not. Maybe they really have, the point is that I don't think any of us can judge how anyone else deals. We all have a path that is right for us.....

Originally Posted by Docha

It does sound like communication tends to be an issue with sharing experiences! Lol

Some can and do come across as needy and dependant, I think that is where the 'tough love' comes in from others who have moved past or never experienced that stage.

I tend to avoid addressing those situations if I can help it, as pretty much anything I say will be useless anyway. Lol I was quite obtuse and close minded when others tried to give me their view of my marriage, if one isn't ready to hear it they wont. Period.

The truth is its not up to me to make someone see the light, just show them that its possibly there somewhere. Its a stance I try to take in all situations, even if difficult. Lol

You're right twin, its different for everyone. How we cope/deal etc. Will vary. What works for one wont work for all.

IQ I am sorry if you took that as I was scolding, or meaning I wouldn't want to hear what you have to say. I love your posts and they often resonate well with me. I certainly don't wish to see you stop posting.

I should have equally defended your point of view. However it doesn't seem to need defending. Those that it helped get it. They took away something valuable. A straightforward approach is as much needed as a softer one.

I am just of a mind that the stretching doesn't have to hurt. If the friction causes pain or confusion then different approach is needed.

I really am sorry if I offended you IQ.

It requires a lot of emotional and intellectual flexibility to share a soul. Or whatever maddening thing it is that is happening here. Everyone starts the journey trying to find the sense in it. It must be this, or it must be that...

There is a great relief when we are finally able to let go of an old idea, such as that it's not possible to share a soul... But once you let go of that idea, you begin to realize that you are living with a million other preconceptions about what your soul is or does or wants.

I go by the Reality Rule:

If my idea of how the relationship is supposed to function is not matching with Reality, I was probably wrong in my assumptions. It's that simple. I choose to think differently or continue to suffer.

Runners and Stayers are both trying to avoid Reality in different ways.

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Internal Queries

please excuse any irritability you may sense in my post ... but ...

you "Stayers" really need to cool your jets. what faithless lot you are! if these "Runners" you're talking about are truly your "TFs" then they can't really run far. now can they? i mean, aside from the illusion of separation you all are encouraging with your expectations and making real with your woe-ing your "TFs" are part and parcel of your souls and you are part and parcel of their souls so where can they really run off to? you aren't being emotionally and physically gratified in the moment so you draw conclusions? conclusions?! conclusions within the context of an eternal relationship? really?

either these "TF" relationships are real and eternal, in which case your tormenting yourselves and your "TFs" for no good reason OR your deluding yourselves with romantic notions and these people you're presently obsessing over are just a passing phase.

you are spot on but it doesnt make it easier at the time, once you come to terms with this it does get soooooooooo much easier but the lesson of learning what you said above takes time :)
its the ego wanting the phsyical i guess and not wanting to w[aste time, it takes a while to loose that ;)

[mystical]

[quote=Kiki04]I NEVER believed in Soul Mates or the ONE but I meet one and I RAN. I ran so quickly because I did go through a shock. It's interesting how well you have it pinned down. I certainly felt like I had gone crazy. :/ We're attempting to be friends now but it's always on and off. His choice not mine.
He comes back in August and leaves in December. ........... ALOT LIKE MYSELF THEN LOL , MINE ALWAYS LEAVES IN AUG COMES BK ROUND DECEMBER TIME AND THEN BY AUG LEAVES AGAIN , NOT HAD HIM AT ALL THIS YEAR SO WHO KNOWS MAYBE THE CYCLE IS BROKEN LOL HOPEFULLY THIS AUGHES BK AND HE IS HERE TO STAY LOL ONE CAN ONLY HOPE :) SIGHHHHHH

[Xan]

IQ: you "Stayers" really need to cool your jets. what faithless lot you are! if these "Runners" you're talking about are truly your "TFs" then they can't really run far. now can they? i mean, aside from the illusion of separation you all are encouraging with your expectations and making real with your woe-ing your "TFs" are part and parcel of your souls and you are part and parcel of their souls so where can they really run off to? you aren't being emotionally and physically gratified in the moment so you draw conclusions? conclusions?! conclusions within the context of an eternal relationship? really?

either these "TF" relationships are real and eternal, in which case your tormenting yourselves and your "TFs" for no good reason OR your deluding yourselves with romantic notions and these people you're presently obsessing over are just a passing phase.


I agree completely, IQ. Much of the difficulty of deep soul mate and twin flame connections comes from expectations that they will meet our romantic fantasies, when the reality is that is rarely the way it is.

These relationships are deep for higher reasons... for the spiritual purpose they are to serve.

In my own experience of 'running' twin flames there is no substitute for letting go of everything in my mind and feelings every minute, and keeping my attention in the love.

In fact, our mantras are "It's just the Love." and "We are love."


Xan