something i found on runners

Originally Posted by Spirit25

My Soulmate had been playing the hot/cold game for months before I couldn't take it anymore and ended it. When he was there, the connection we had was so amazing. He was so amazing to me. Then he would distance himself from me and at the time I had no idea why. It was such an emotional roller coaster for me. The hardest thing I've ever experienced. When I questioned his actions, he just shrugged it off like nothing was wrong. He assured me that he loved me and that I had nothing to worry about. I gave him every opportunity to end things but he never did.

I knew he loved me but I couldn't understand why he was acting this way. He eventually told me he did want a future with me, but at that moment his life wasn't stable enough to fully give me what I deserved. He told me the same thing after we broke up when I ran into one day out of the blue. That day is one I will never forget. I was so emotional. He looked happy,sad and nervous all in one when he saw me. He told me the breakup was hard on him too cause he still loved me and wanted to be with me, but he couldn't be there for me the way I needed to be. He needed time to sort out his life. He knew he was moving to another Province, which is thousands miles away and he couldn't ask me to give up the things I loved to move with him. He gave me a huge hug and kissed me goodbye. Then he literally ran away from me. He was so nerved up he ran into the door as he looked back at me.That was the last time I saw or heard from him. Which was a year ago this month. I couldn't understand it and I've tried so hard to move on this past year but everything reminds me of him and the time we shared. Usually it doesn't take me long to get over a breakup but this one I can't. It's like the more I try to fight it or deny it the harder it gets.

It took me about two and a half years to fully get over the breakup with my soulmate/twin. So give yourself some time. Embrace your emotions and feelings fully, this way you will move past them.

At this point I am happy that we are 'apart' (as you can never truly be apart from your twin), because it is giving me time to grow into who i really am, it serves the purpose of me being able to live my life before we meet up again (I'm only 25) and become a couple. There is a plan, and once you know this and see it, you can see why they ran and why things seem to be 'not working' for the two of you. It is all part of the plan so you can actually come together.

Originally Posted by LadyImpreza1111

I honestly think if one or both of them is not ready, then being just friends is not going to be that easy. If they haven't healed or grown, they are always going to be facing their old issues because the other person reflects it right back to them. Heal and grow first.

Yes, well the general idea is to keep them in your life somehow, just keep them near to you. If that is simply acquaintances, or even friends. And possibly not right after the two of you break up, but sometime along the road when you are not together with your twin/soulmate you will want to get back into contact with them, or they will get in contact with you. This doesn't necessarily mean a relationship is pending, it simply means that you have gotten back in touch with you twin/SM, which is why I say to be friends. It eases things, and there are no obligations to one another, and until the time you are both truly ready, being friends is possibly the best thing you can offer.

Just find it weird that my best friend seems to be experiencing what I did when I first met my SM. She has this strong weird attraction to this young guy she meet eariler this year who turns out to be a cousin of my SM. He plays the hot & cold game with her. Only difference is she refuses to chase him like I did with my SM. I asked her how it felt when she was with him and its identical at how I felt when I was with my SM. There are too many things that have happened this past year for it to be a coincidence.

Wow, some of you are definitely stronger than I was. I also was on a roller coaster as he pulled back. BUT, i could not end it. He had to. In fact, when things were still on, we came together after some months apart (lived in different places at the time) and we were together and I said you are holding back. (this was before i knew of TF) And he said yes he was and then we came together again and he didn't hold back at all and it blew my mind, body, and spirit. THEN, after that he really pulled back. He got so freaked. That was actually the beginning of the end. It didn't end there, but he definitely kept me at more of a distance. It was really hard, but I couldn't have imagined it actually ending. YES, it can be unbearable. That's actually why I came back to this forum. I took a few months off, to kind of give myself space from the whole thing, but suddenly it all came back full force. I am grateful for this community and I suspect you will find MANY answers here and at the very least a lot of similar stories which help you feel not so nutty!

Originally Posted by Spirit25

WOW!! That line you wrote about the highest highs and lowest lows. That describes exactly how I felt when I was with my SM. I was so torn. I was so hurt by his actions then he would do something so sweet that made me feel bad for doubting him. It was a vicious cycle for months that didn't seem like it would end. I couldn't take it anymore so I ended it. Though I regret it heavily most days I know in my heart it was the best thing for both of us. We wouldn't be able to heal or understand this connection if we were still together. We need to be apart to go on our separate journeys. I just miss him so much.

I may have ended it but believe me it wasn't any easier after the breakup. I still tried to reach out to him numerous of times. Each time I got nothing back from him. A few weeks after our breakup he limited my view of his facebook. Then a month after I ran into him he deleted me completely from Facebook. It was so bizarre to run into him like that. He always goes through the drive thru at McDonalds especially when he's in a hurry. That day he went inside. It was like it was fate that I was meant to run into him face to face otherwise he would have never talked to me. After that day I never ran into or heard from him since.

Mine also banned me from FB for about 4 months then suddenly brought me back? So who knows?

Originally Posted by Spirit25

I may have ended it but believe me it wasn't any easier after the breakup. I still tried to reach out to him numerous of times. Each time I got nothing back from him. A few weeks after our breakup he limited my view of his facebook. Then a month after I ran into him he deleted me completely from Facebook. It was so bizarre to run into him like that. He always goes through the drive thru at McDonalds especially when he's in a hurry. That day he went inside. It was like it was fate that I was meant to run into him face to face otherwise he would have never talked to me. After that day I never ran into or heard from him since.

I've been banned numerous times over the last two years. This is the first time I've been on her facebook for more than 4 months, woo!

And it just gets stranger! I didn't imagine the FB thing was happening to others. It's like everything is so similar between all of us! The funny part is, I was so happy when I started seeing his statuses again. It also made wonder why he brought me back because he still isn't talking to me. I got brave and "liked" something he said the other day....hahah

Oh, and he blocked me from his page, he could still see mine. He's still appear in my sidebar all the time, it's funny how the tiniest thing helps us know that they are still there. Something that wouldn't matter with just about anyone else.

Originally Posted by Enlightener

I've been banned numerous times over the last two years. This is the first time I've been on her facebook for more than 4 months, woo!

What I couldn't understand at the time is why he didn't just remove me completely from facebook from the start. Why just hide his wall? It's like part of him didn't want to fully let me go.

I just had people look at me funny (im working from cafe) I giggled and nearly fell out of my chair when I read this. If I was drinking it would have come through the nose. MY WORDS/THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!!!!

Believe me I cried when he hid wall, but then thought why can he still see me? and NOW why even bring me back. He took the time to let me see his wall, why do that but still not talk. Odd ball :) Still, as nuts as it sounds it makes me much happier to know Im not fully cut out. Also, he still has a pic of us in his banner and another that i took. At this point, it's the little things....

Originally Posted by Spirit25

What I couldn't understand at the time is why he didn't just remove me completely from facebook from the start. Why just hide his wall? It's like part of him didn't want to fully let me go.