Does healing occur in union or in separation?

[Delay_Reaction]

<<To pre-face this post, anytime I refer to "being with your twin", I mean having some kind of regular contact with your twin and not necessarily in a romantic relationship. >>

I am starting to wonder when does healing actually takes place? When you are with your twin or when you are apart?

I am in a situation where I can establish regular contact with my twin, but I choose not to. If I did, it would feel like I was chasing her, expecting her to return my messages. It doesn't feel like I am learning anything this way.

When she contacts me, it's always pleasant and it genuinely feels like she wants to reach out to me. It's more natural for me because I am not the one initiating contact. But maybe she also just wants to satisfy her ego by keeping me on a leash? If so, then we aren't actually healing any wounds.

I guess my question is, if you truly know who your TF is, does it make more sense to heal yourself on your own or figure this out together with your twin? Or is it somewhere in the middle?

Would healing be expedited with regular TF contact? or Without?

Should you figure it all out on your own before attempting to establish some kind of friendship/relationship with your TF?

I don't see myself being friends with my TF at this time while she is in another relationship. It doesn't seem like an appropriate label either to say that we are just friends or more than friends. It's obviously more than friends but it feels wrong to label it.

I'm just curious if there are others who are wondering the same thing.

Is there any actual benefit to being together with your TF?

[FairyCrystal]

I feel the answer is: both.
Typically you have already done a lot of work otherwise you wouldn't be near the vibration of meeting your TF.
Then there's the last -and often deepest and thus most difficult- remaining bits to heal. They tend to get triggered by your TF because they touch you so deeply.
I think it varies whether you then heal alone or together or a combination of the two. It depends where you were on your path. If you were quite ready to enter a TF relationship, then I think you do it both yourself and together. If you weren't quite that ready yet, you will likely separate, either temporarily or permanently this life. Then you work things out on your own.

When one is in a relationship I think that leaves you with little other option than to do it yourself, unless you can bear and feel like being friends-only.

[Ariaecheflame]

Both.


Usually I do my inner work 'alone'... we are married so... alone means I am in a seperate space of the home LOL or... one of us goes on a little holiday.

And then when we come back together... there is usually a new level of forgiveness and harmony... which only deepens the healing.

When we first started dating and I was heavily in my 'runner' stages... I would leave... many 1000's of km's of 'space' and healing would take about 6 months of alone time with regular phone contact haha.

Now days... it takes a few days of claiming our own seperate spaces for a bit.

[Ariaecheflame]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I feel the answer is: both.
Typically you have already done a lot of work otherwise you wouldn't be near the vibration of meeting your TF.
Then there's the last -and often deepest and thus most difficult- remaining bits to heal. They tend to get triggered by your TF because they touch you so deeply.
I think it varies whether you then heal alone or together or a combination of the two. It depends where you were on your path. If you were quite ready to enter a TF relationship, then I think you do it both yourself and together. If you weren't quite that ready yet, you will likely separate, either temporarily or permanently this life. Then you work things out on your own.

When one is in a relationship I think that leaves you with little other option than to do it yourself, unless you can bear and feel like being friends-only.

I find this idea strange - that you have to be of a particular vibration to meet your twin... it sort of got me thinking lol... so thankyou.

I feel that we are always the right vibration for our tfs - it is our unique universal signature which magnetisies them to us.

I feel like it is more... coming into harmony or intergrating our natural vibration here onnearth rather than raising it to a certain vibration. We are already a unique expression of the universe of love at our core...

I am just going to disect my own story a bit - to see if this idea makes sense to me lol!!

I did actually meet and hang out with my TF and my catalyst mirror from ages 14 - 17 and then our seperation (tf and I) where we lost all contact thought we had lost each other lasted for one year.
Our happiest time together before we lost contact was when we were both 15 - just before I spiralled very deeply into depression. We lost contact and missed each other - and started telepathic/empathetic communication... and I sort of just started to come good... but still deeply troubled at 18.

tf and I got together when we were 18 - and I was pretty happy at the time but still had not dealt with the deep trauma of my childhood... my depression would surface with a vengence every few months.

After I had my child - she had just started school and I suddenly had space for healing - my catalyst soul mate came back into my conciousness and set off this stream of healing.

Tf and I were mostly together through all of this healing - I ran away from him frequently and even moved out a few times - but he should just hold me in his love.
So even when we were seperated by 1000's of km's we were never really seperated.

I do wonder - why my story unfolded this way... and often I feel like this love saved my life.
Many times in the pit of despair - tf would hold a space filled with love - without it I wouldn't be here it was my lifeline which held me here on earth.

Another thing I have noticed - as I have done so much healing/ harmonising and balancing is my vibration is pretty much the same as it always was... lol - it is unique to me - it is the same soul essence which has always been there - it is more a matter that I am fully integrated, body mind and spirit with my souls true harmonic vibration. Where as before I was not intergrated with it.

So it makes me really realise that - the true frequency of TFs is always in harmony on a soul level - it is more the fact that the two souls begin to intergrate harmoniously on all levels within the earth plane 3d -

It is more about learning harmonious intergration within our bodies, minds and the universe and the TF. All things we were never actually seperate from.

So still a vibrational thing... but not in a sense of reaching a certain vibration... we have no where to go only full integration with our souls 'note' more in a sense of coming into harmony with the universe.

If both are in early stages of growth/healing they will clash and ego's will flare.
when a low vibration person meets a high vibration person it teaches both a lesson.

the low vibration individual learns that the world doesn't control their situation they do.

and the high vibration person learns to maintain growth while not allowing their mirror to lower their vibration.

These lessons cause separation if resistance is present and during separation self reflection takes place and then both can proceed with change and growth.
this can be done together but only if neither is resisting. Both must learn to surrender to resisting. or to recognize anger and fear for what they truly are, issues with self.

after there is no resistance than healing can take place together or in separation. the amount of growth/healing relies on the individuals true goals and inspirations.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

<<To pre-face this post, anytime I refer to "being with your twin", I mean having some kind of regular contact with your twin and not necessarily in a romantic relationship. >>

I am starting to wonder when does healing actually takes place? When you are with your twin or when you are apart?

I am in a situation where I can establish regular contact with my twin, but I choose not to. If I did, it would feel like I was chasing her, expecting her to return my messages. It doesn't feel like I am learning anything this way.

When she contacts me, it's always pleasant and it genuinely feels like she wants to reach out to me. It's more natural for me because I am not the one initiating contact. But maybe she also just wants to satisfy her ego by keeping me on a leash? If so, then we aren't actually healing any wounds.

I guess my question is, if you truly know who your TF is, does it make more sense to heal yourself on your own or figure this out together with your twin? Or is it somewhere in the middle?

Would healing be expedited with regular TF contact? or Without?

Should you figure it all out on your own before attempting to establish some kind of friendship/relationship with your TF?

I don't see myself being friends with my TF at this time while she is in another relationship. It doesn't seem like an appropriate label either to say that we are just friends or more than friends. It's obviously more than friends but it feels wrong to label it.

I'm just curious if there are others who are wondering the same thing.

Is there any actual benefit to being together with your TF?

It's somewhere in the middle. We both healed separately for 20 years. Today we heal together and separately at times. When together things come up quicker and more intensely, but I feel get cleared quicker. I can now clear something difficult in just a few days.

I know how you feel about this but are you sure about not initiating contact with her? I really like when mine contacts me first, let's me know he's thinking of me and keeping the connection.

As for actual benefits - I'm still wondering that one, lol.

The entire 30 years we've know each other we have been friends, as well as more than friends, while being in other relationships. As teens we would double date (him choosing my date, of course) - we were "together" but not. Today things are still the same. I invite him and his gf to attend things with me.

Always together but always apart.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

It's somewhere in the middle. We both healed separately for 20 years. Today we heal together and separately at times. When together things come up quicker and more intensely, but I feel get cleared quicker. I can now clear something difficult in just a few days.

I know how you feel about this but are you sure about not initiating contact with her? I really like when mine contacts me first, let's me know he's thinking of me and keeping the connection.

As for actual benefits - I'm still wondering that one, lol.

The entire 30 years we've know each other we have been friends, as well as more than friends, while being in other relationships. As teens we would double date (him choosing my date, of course) - we were "together" but not. Today things are still the same. I invite him and his gf to attend things with me.

Always together but always apart.

This is somewhat like my situation, except I have only known my TF for about 3 years. Our periods of contact are short but intense. I feel that everyday communication with my TF would be quite meaningless if we are only talking about the mundane.. (eg. how's your day going? have a nice day! etc...)

Maybe it's not meaningless to her, but for me doing that every day would seem kind of pointless and would create an expectation.

However, with others who I am not sharing a deep soul connection with, I do wish them a "good morning" almost daily. I don't feel as hurt when they don't reciprocate. But with my TF, if I initiate and she doesn't reciprocate, it would hurt. So I let her reach out to me.

It's more about me not being able to keep myself from acting out which stops me from initiating contact with my TF more often.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

This is somewhat like my situation, except I have only known my TF for about 3 years. Our periods of contact are short but intense. I feel that everyday communication with my TF would be quite meaningless if we are only talking about the mundane.. (eg. how's your day going? have a nice day! etc...)

Maybe it's not meaningless to her, but for me doing that every day would seem kind of pointless and would create an expectation.

However, with others who I am not sharing a deep soul connection with, I do wish them a "good morning" almost daily. I don't feel as hurt when they don't reciprocate. But with my TF, if I initiate and she doesn't reciprocate, it would hurt. So I let her reach out to me.

It's more about me not being able to keep myself from acting out which stops me from initiating contact with my TF more often.

This is interesting to me and kind of shows me a look from the outside into my situation.

A lot of times I'll ask him something, he'll give me a quick answer, then I'll feel "hurt" that he didn't engage in more of a conversation (and he does work from home so I know he's on the phone and working but he does always answer). So I understand how everyday mundane contact may not be good. On the other hand if time goes by and he does not initiate, then I still feel "hurt" that he didn't engage.

So what you've said shows me my own weakness of feeling abandoned and fear of that. Something I know I have to work on but I still can't seem to clear that.

As to your original question, I also think other tf's going through similar situations can be a big help in our healing.

Several times, including what you've said here, really helps me see things from a different perspective that I can look at. When I start to feel bad after contact with him, instead of chasing (looking for validation from him) I now am looking deeper in me to see why I feel this way and deal with it, and not chase after him for the answer. Perhaps your twin is doing the same.

[AngelRain]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

This is interesting to me and kind of shows me a look from the outside into my situation.

A lot of times I'll ask him something, he'll give me a quick answer, then I'll feel "hurt" that he didn't engage in more of a conversation (and he does work from home so I know he's on the phone and working but he does always answer). So I understand how everyday mundane contact may not be good. On the other hand if time goes by and he does not initiate, then I still feel "hurt" that he didn't engage.

So what you've said shows me my own weakness of feeling abandoned and fear of that. Something I know I have to work on but I still can't seem to clear that.

As to your original question, I also think other tf's going through similar situations can be a big help in our healing.

Several times, including what you've said here, really helps me see things from a different perspective that I can look at. When I start to feel bad after contact with him, instead of chasing (looking for validation from him) I now am looking deeper in me to see why I feel this way and deal with it, and not chase after him for the answer. Perhaps your twin is doing the same.

I had a big talk about this with a friend of mine who's the runner while I'm the chaser. You and your twin are vry similar yet you've both experienced different things throughout your lives. Different betrayals and disappointments that's induced a lot of fear inside of you. I'm the same way in that when my beloved doesnt talk more when we interact it hurts. However, I know he's been through a lot and has learned to shut things out. He's a very no ** kind of guy who wouldn't just talk to me for the sake of stroaking his own ego. He's 14 years older than me, he knows who he is and he isnt ashamed of it. IT's I who's had to really heal and kill my ego in order to allow our union to happen. He's not once said anything mean or insulting, but I have during many of my freak outs. As I healed and let go of past pains and hurts, the small talk doesnt hurt me as much. It does inform me that there's still more I need to work on. There's still some past hurts that I need to heal and release. I know this also because of some health problems that are slowly starting to heal.

As you near the end of your healing you will realize the signs were always there. There is not a single doubt in my mind that he is my tf. But when we first crossed paths I didnt believe it. I didn't believe anything anyone told me. I'd dated mostly bad men and assumed he was just like the others but just had a good way of hiding it. I'm here to tell you that your tf is not like them. Nowhere close. And if your twin is a sociapath/narcissist well im not sure what to tell you lol. But for the ones who aren't, keep going. We've all been there and it takes a **** ton of work. Work on you and allow your world to change for the better. You need to have your own identity and life before your twin can enter it. Find a hobby have a passion and do what you were menat to do in this life. Raise the vibration of the world and those around you.

[gypsymystique]

Healing occurs with both.