He's coming back!

[wednesdayschild]

Hi ya'll.
It's been a long time.
Nothing much was going on for ages. I was just getting on with me...filling my life with hobbies and interests, starting my new business. Things like that. We had been messaging but not as much as before. I was trying to let go. I couldnt let it go completely, I'd tried that and he pleaded for me not to walk away. He knew I was thinking about doing it even before I told him. He said he could feel it. That was when the psychic connection really kicked in. We didnt message sometimes for 2 weeks but then something would overwhelm me and I felt I had to check in. My words have saved him from dark places. His deep appreciation of me has made me strong. But anyway I digress.
He's coming home after 9 months. He says he misses home and family. I know he misses me as he's told me so often. We've made plans for the summer. A camping trip. Nights out. Walks in the park. Cooking. All the things we did before.. he's excited. So am I ...but also petrified!
My story is in previous posts to read, but in a nutshell...we met, we connected profoundly, he said he only wanted friendship, he tried to avoid our connection and keep it tame when all the while I was falling deeper and deeper...he was going travelling and maybe that was a lot to do with the elusiveness of what we had...but there was no denying the magnetism. Despite everything we slept together and not only once, before he left.
Now.....I have 10 days to get my **** together and he's back in my life. How do I deal? I know I love him just as much if not more than I did when he left. I know I need to give him time to adjust back to life here and to our dynamic. I am just scared. Scared that I will have to go back to scratch...just friends. I dont think I can now. Not after those nights we shared....
Any advice? I know I need to just go with the flow....see how it's going to be...its just not like any other 'relationship' I have ever had....

[selene]

Wow! I remember your story Wednesdaychild and it brought a smile on a very difficult day when I am overcome with fear that my own twin's journey will never end.
I read somewhere here earlier that the tf experience is very personal and I totally agree with that... no advice I may give you can ever compare to what you know is good for you and him. Still, I will be cheering you on for sure and I can't wait to hear your news :).

[wednesdayschild]

Originally Posted by selene

Wow! I remember your story Wednesdaychild and it brought a smile on a very difficult day when I am overcome with fear that my own twin's journey will never end.
I read somewhere here earlier that the tf experience is very personal and I totally agree with that... no advice I may give you can ever compare to what you know is good for you and him. Still, I will be cheering you on for sure and I can't wait to hear your news :).

Hi Selene
I know that fear all too well! Our journies are never easy but boy do we learn about ourselves and love! Just try and remember who you were before and who you are now...how you have evolved!
The journey is never ending. I.know that even when I am with him again we will still have lessons to learn and healing to be done...forever. it's beautiful but so scary. I dont want to frighten him away again but i also dont want to be pretending that just friends is ok like i did before. It's now about ultimate truth and showing him all that i really am without a mask to hide behind.
If i dont set the example then how can i expect him to open up fully to.me?
I believe that fear comes in when we are afraid to love...and i dont mean love from afar i mean love as in trusting so much in the other person that you want them.to see your warts and all...your light and dark and everything inbetween.
I will keep you posted. Just give love! Unconditionally! Even if you dont get it back. Things will balance!

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by wednesdayschild

Hi ya'll.
It's been a long time.
Nothing much was going on for ages. I was just getting on with me...filling my life with hobbies and interests, starting my new business. Things like that. We had been messaging but not as much as before. I was trying to let go. I couldnt let it go completely, I'd tried that and he pleaded for me not to walk away. He knew I was thinking about doing it even before I told him. He said he could feel it. That was when the psychic connection really kicked in. We didnt message sometimes for 2 weeks but then something would overwhelm me and I felt I had to check in. My words have saved him from dark places. His deep appreciation of me has made me strong. But anyway I digress.
He's coming home after 9 months. He says he misses home and family. I know he misses me as he's told me so often. We've made plans for the summer. A camping trip. Nights out. Walks in the park. Cooking. All the things we did before.. he's excited. So am I ...but also petrified!
My story is in previous posts to read, but in a nutshell...we met, we connected profoundly, he said he only wanted friendship, he tried to avoid our connection and keep it tame when all the while I was falling deeper and deeper...he was going travelling and maybe that was a lot to do with the elusiveness of what we had...but there was no denying the magnetism. Despite everything we slept together and not only once, before he left.
Now.....I have 10 days to get my **** together and he's back in my life. How do I deal? I know I love him just as much if not more than I did when he left. I know I need to give him time to adjust back to life here and to our dynamic. I am just scared. Scared that I will have to go back to scratch...just friends. I dont think I can now. Not after those nights we shared....
Any advice? I know I need to just go with the flow....see how it's going to be...its just not like any other 'relationship' I have ever had....

My advice is just as you said, go with the flow, don't expect too much too soon. Mine just wants to be friends, but like you after what we had just friends is really hard. He's affectionate and hints at more, but have not got back there yet. The magnetism is very strong, unlike any other relationship I've had.

[wednesdayschild]

I am getting freaked out a bit by the strength of my sacral chakra...its on fire here! I dont want it to be straight into the bedroom for us but I am seriously unable to ignore this ....i remember it being the same after we'd slept together first time and neither of us could stop it after that...powerful stuff...

[Baile]

Originally Posted by wednesdayschild

I am just scared. Scared that I will have to go back to scratch...just friends. I dont think I can now. Not after those nights we shared....

I am getting freaked out a bit by the strength of my sacral chakra...its on fire here! I dont want it to be straight into the bedroom for us but I am seriously unable to ignore this ....i remember it being the same after we'd slept together first time and neither of us could stop it after that...powerful stuff...

Any advice?

Hi wednesdayschild. Advice from a guy who has read a couple of your previous threads, and who has been through something similar... First, he left for many months. Why did he leave? And here's a real question for you, I don't know the answer: Did he leave to see the world? Or because he wanted space? Is your "can't just be friends" energy maybe one of the reasons he needed that space? Likewise the "sacral chakra" stuff.

Personally, that would scare me off. In fact that's my experience, it happened in my 40s. I met someone who was spiritual-sexual energy-focused, and obviously desperate to meet a life-partner. I went on one date and that was it. My relationship focus had changed since I was a young man. I was looking for quiet soul connection with someone, not ecstasy in the bedroom followed by lifelong commitment. 3-4 days of burning desire and fab sex... any two people can pull that off. But then the reality sets in and the real stuff needs to be addressed... Do I actually LOVE that person, or not?

[wednesdayschild]

Originally Posted by Baile

Hi wednesdayschild. Advice from a guy who has read a couple of your previous threads, and who has been through something similar... First, he left for many months. Why did he leave? And here's a real question for you, I don't know the answer: Did he leave to see the world? Or because he wanted space? Is your "can't just be friends" energy maybe one of the reasons he needed that space? Likewise the "sacral chakra" stuff.

Personally, that would scare me off. In fact that's my experience, it happened in my 40s. I met someone who was spiritual-sexual energy-focused, and obviously desperate to meet a life-partner. I went on one date and that was it. My relationship focus had changed since I was a young man. I was looking for quiet soul connection with someone, not ecstasy in the bedroom followed by lifelong commitment. 3-4 days of burning desire and fab sex... any two people can pull that off. But then the reality sets in and the real stuff needs to be addressed... Do I actually LOVE that person, or not?

hi there,
as soon as we met (at work) he told me he wasn't happy about his direction in life and was planning to go and teach abroad. I knew he would leave but we had 8 months of great friendship and then a week of more than that before he left. He was planning to be away indefinitely but he's back now as he missed England, his family and me.
I told him at the start that I was falling for him and he said he felt the same but nothing could happen between us. On his birthday we got a little drunk and ended up in bed together and again....he instigated that not me.
I think as we spend time together again, the question will inevitably come up as to how we both feel. It's his move to make as he knows how I feel. So we'll see!
Thank for your response. I am not sure whether you're giving me an example of a twin flame connection between yourself and another...but this connection I have is not a 'normal' connection. We are deeply connected and in synch mentally and emotionally, great friends and we share a very very beautiful feeling of being at home when we're together. As far as the sex thing, well neither of us expected the intensity of it. Such is Twin flame passion.....;)

[wednesdayschild]

Update*
He has been round twice and we've had lovely chats and catch ups. Both times I have asked him round. He has only asked me out once for dinner and on that evening he didnt call to organise it. Instead he went out celebrating getting a place at uni with his sister and then...came around to my place at 2am drunk and started knocking on my door and calling my name. I didnt let him in.
Then Friday morning 4am. 2 missed phone calls from.outside my door again.
Why? Is he so scared that he needs to be drunk to approach me?