Firstly thank you for having me here, and thank you to anyone who has the time to read my version of War & Peace
I'm currently very confused regarding a relationship with a friend of the opposite sex. We are both married (obviously not to each other) and have known each other around 3 years after meeting in quite strange circumstance (many coincidences and connections between us)
We met and were introduced as couples, not individually, however the friendship between myself and him has blossomed we have a natural 'click'.
About a year & a half into the friendship something seemed to change, and I could sense a change in energy between us.
I will try to explain.... I feel so drawn to this person but it feels more than a normal friendship. There is a very deep connection, which I am trying to get a handle on - and what leads me here today.
Sometimes I sit and drift off into a day dream, of us together (we could be doing anything, talking, out together etc) to the point it feels real.
We talk often, every day normally, it is almost always him that initiates contact,
(I will state now our conversations are platonic & nothing I wouldn't share with my husband)
However, I always long to hear from him.
We have had eyes meeting across the room scenarios.
A push pull connection where both of us at one point have had to move away rapidly from each other physically due to 'something' making us need to pull away, other times we will stand so close to each other talking, full none broken eye contact.
We have had a tendency to rub each other up the wrong way, although lately (within the last month or so) that has subsided and we seem to have found a balance and understanding of each other.
He is very sensitive, where as I am quite brash, sometimes I will say something and straight away know exactly how it has made him feel like it is generating from him to me and I 'feel' what he is feeling.
When we are in each other's company everything is so effortless, we can't help but smile at each other when talking, we tease each other, we have so much in common but are v different people : me very sociable and bubbly, him quite serious and introverted.
We are not touchy feely however, we do not hug, or have any physical contact.
It has been since our understanding of each other changed I started noticing 11.11 on the clock, not once or twice but numerous times to the point that after about the third or fourth time I decided to google what it might mean ...
I started to read about Twin Flames, and making connections between us both.
We had arranged to see each other tomorrow but due to work commitments he has not been able to. He rang and left a message with my husband : I felt a pain in my stomach to the point I thought maybe I should be crying, but I didn't cry...I sort of just felt empty. I should explain that we don't see each other often due to living across the country from each other, so it's roughly every couple of months.
I had been out when I found out, and had been mulling over in my head, why did he cancel (even though I knew it was a valid reason) why didn't he make more effort to fix the plans etc... did he not want to see me as much as I him... you name it, my mind had been on overdrive... and then as I got in the car, I made a last check of my phone and there it was the time staring back at me 11:11
- was this some kind of reassurance, a sign of sorts?
All I am left with however is a feeling of questioning, what exactly is going on, have I met my twin flame, or maybe my soul mate... I know we can never be together on an intimate level (I will be honest I do question the pull between us and don't fully know myself how I truly feel) but I don't know how to move forward with the friendship. Is it an unhealthy connection, am I doing my husband and his wife a disservice by having this level of connection with someone else.... it feels so much deeper than anything I've felt before (but it is a different feeling completely to how I feel about my husband who I love very much)
I'm worried I'm investing too much emotion into the friendship that one or both of us is ultimately going to end up hurt, I'm not sure it's healthy but at the same time I don't want to lose what we have.
I do apologise for the lengthy first post.... I have just tried to put down in words In the hope someone might have more understanding than I currently do on what possibly is happening.
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