Follow My Heart or Follow the Evidence?

[Nan948]

Duplicate.

[jro5139]

I dislike these terms, runner and chaser, as well. I agree they sound very derogatory, I only use they for the sake of description.
And I don't like saying that he was the runner and I was the chaser, it's much more complicated than that. At first, we both chased, then when stuff finally happened, he sort of ran. Except we were in a situation where we had to interact with each other for 3 years, so we couldn't really run. I think if we could have, we both would have ran. At this point, we have moved past wanting to run away from each other and we are friends.

Nan948, thank you for your response, I think it will help other "chasers" and me.
Yes we are friends and we can't see each other right now due to his circumstances, but we both want to. He is married and because I haven't seen him in over a year, I cannot tell you want the state of his marriage is. Right now we communicate mostly by text message, and due to what he is going through it is becoming more sparse, it will be this way because of what he has to deal with and it seems right now like the separation is going to be a long one, due to this.
I am always honest with him and he knows everything I feel, because I tell him. So he knows that I would like more but he knows that I am trying to be his friend as well. He knows pretty much everything about me, he might be the only person that does. I tell him everything, even things I don't normally tell people like the spiritual stuff. He always accepts me and whatever crazy thing I say to him:) He has been the most accepting person I have ever met.

I also tell him that I miss him and love him but I try not to do it in a disparate way. I try not to vibe it out in a "I can't live without you" way but in a "I'm ok, but I still miss you way". It's not like I can't survive without him, I just WANT him to be in my life. I accept that he has his own free will though. I physically tell him this stuff, in the 3D and he seems to be ok with it.

I don't like to categorize us as the runner and chaser either, esp not now. Although there def was a time when things were like this.
I guess what I want to make sure is that when I send him a message it is me interacting with him bc he is my friend and not me chasing him and when to know the difference. So I try to send him messages when I want to tell him something or send him love in a 3D way, and when I feel like I just want validation that he's still there or I feel disparate, I try not to send that. Is that good? Is there anything else I'm missing?
Because I do not want to chase, but I still want to interact with my friend. Right now, due to his situation, it is getting harder on him to have to interact so I am being understanding and not bombarding him with messages. But it is hard on me to have to go long periods of time without physically talking to him and I try to be understanding if I send him a message and he doesn't answer. But sometimes it starts to make me go twin flame crazy:) I know this is a 3D problem and I need to work on this.

See this is why this is so helpful, I didn't really know that the telepathy could also be chasing, I was thinking it was the 3D interactions. I can easily tune into him and talk to him telepathically. I send him love and strength all the time and he needs it right now. He also confirmed to me that this is helping him (in the 3D). So the pull I feel, usually is this and I try to send it in a positive way (not disparate) and with no expectation attached to it. But I feel bad just ignoring it because I know that he is going through a lot and needs it. He is going through a life changing time right now, so do I ignore it and go on about my day when I feel him pull? Or is it ok to send him love as long as it is positive and not from a disparate place? What if he really needs it?
Also if he has something negative to say about how I interact with him, he doesn't seem to have a problem telling me.

I dislike the label as well for all the same reasons:) But when I found it, it made me feel like maybe I wasn't crazy. I didn't find it until after we went into separation and the whole time I was around him in the physical (3 years), I felt like I was going crazy and I didn't understand what was happening to me. The tf crazy def made me overwhelm him at times and then he would avoid me, making me crazier. But I didn't understand what it was then and I had tried really hard not to think about him that way for the reason that he was married. But I totally agree with all of the objections that are made about the label. For the most part though, I don't think he is runner anymore, he just can't get away from his circumstances and he is going through a lot, he told me yesterday his path is changing and changing and he can only take one day at a time.
I am trying to be understanding but it is def not easy to live through. I appreciate your input:)

[Delay_Reaction]

Am also curious about this story. Am also wondering what was going through his mind and how he dealt with the rejection over such a long period of time. Did he get into other relationships duting this time? What kind of things did he occupy himself with during this period? Please do share Mystical.

Also found this old thread of yours.
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...ad.php?t=83358

Very interesting to hear how your dark twin led you to find your light twin.

And yes, whoever says that this forum was much better years ago is correct. I see much more wisdom in the old postings.

Originally Posted by Surf Rider

I'm really curious - what story were you telling yourself about why you were rejecting him? The TF belief system usually maintains that the Runner runs because they can't stand to face themselves, and they are actually running from themselves, not the Chaser. So if you're willing to share, what story were you telling yourself about why you were running? And what made you change your mind and come back to him?

[Nan948]

Hi Jr5139. No person can tell you how to interact with your twin. Each twin experience is so different. Your twin is married and you are friends. That is just one scenario of the many scenarios of the twin-flame experience, one that not every twin flame will experience and even that experience is not the same for everyone. Follow your intuition with your relationship. There is a higher power guiding twin flame relationships and if you just follow that knowing, that guide, everything will turn out right in the end.

To follow that knowing we have to clear our bodies of all fears, because that knowing will get passed through all that toxicity and fear and the translation you receive will not be for the highest good for all. Every twin-flame knows what to do to have a healthy twin relationship; we really do. We come equipped with that knowing and those tools and twin flames can access them if they just have faith, trust, listen and relax. Unfortunately, I think fear often takes over the love for both twins and they start acting from that fear place and that is when problems arise.

Follow your heart. Follow your moral compass. Listen to your twin, respect, communication, love. For twin flame it is important not to be afraid to receive and give love because the love is intense. Leave the fear and the crazy at the door. Your twin and you are communicating amazing well so just keep that up. He is telling you how he feels and you are respecting that and you are telling him how you feel and what you need and he is respecting that. So, just keep going in the direction of respect, love and communication because that is what this relationship is all about learning and doing.

As for the pull you seem to be handling it well. I think that you are doing a good job. It helps that you both are on good terms and are communicating. Yes, there is nothing wrong with helping your twin flame and sending them love and light, especially when he tells you that he appreciates this interaction and that it helps him. The pull is more complicated for twin flames who are separated and are not in communication. Therefore, it is sometimes hard to figure out what the pull is trying to tell them when they cannot ask or have no idea what it is about because they have no background information about what is going on in their twins life.. This can get them in a state of fear and frenzy and they often try to find out what the pull is about in this crazy manner. As long as they stop, think, realize the overall theme of the pull, and the proceed with love, clear headedness and strength, life would be much easier.

Yes, the runner/chaser twin dynamics is complicated. Chasing/running in the twin flame relationship most often than not, does not take on the clear everyday definition of running and chasing. It is not all cut and dried and this phase could be triggered by so many things, but most often out of fear and misunderstanding. A chaser could chase because they are running and a runner could be running because they are chasing. Sometimes one twin runs in 3d but chases in 5d. and sometimes one twin chases in 5d and runs in 3d. Sometimes one twin do one ( chasing/running ) more than the other, but overall twin flames need to connect and touch base with each other whether they are running or chasing and they will find a way to do this via 3d or 5d. The chasing/running phase is an unhealthy one in the twin flame relationship and the faster they can get out of this phase the better.

Yes, the twin flame label has its uses if it is not abused and many people just use it as an excuse to stay in an abusive situation or use it as an excuse not to fix themselves. I am tired of seeing this. The original intent of that label is to teach and to guide. I don’t agree with every one of the twin flame label points but like you when I saw the label, it opened my eyes. The connection and love between twin-flames is intense and nothing can end it, not experience, or separation or time. It is good to have this guide because the everyday love relationship, connection and experiences that we go through does not prepare us for dealing with the twin flame connection. So, twin flames do need help with this relationship and the twin flame label is the closest guide. If that connection is going to stick around for life it is a good idea to know how to deal with it to mitigate all the pain that will come if we treat it like the every day.

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

And yes, whoever says that this forum was much better years ago is correct. I see much more wisdom in the old postings.

Are you sure you aren't becoming more jaded?!

In response, I think that's partly down to the increased splurge of easy answers parading under spirituality on the web over the past 3 or 4 years. It's become dilute, misleading, mendacious and a con in some instances. Vulnerable people with domestic and personal problems turn to it and feel comfortable if they buy into some "system/current or another....sometimes just people who parade their self-discoveries on the web. You find much laden with factoids that are really just supposition and specultion.

What's changed for me since I joined is the increased volume of "What's wrong with me?", "I need pity, pile it on!", and "How do I force someone to believe what I believe" posts, often replied to with ill-considered advice. People just want instant panaceas (which of course they won't get). The world grows more complicated. Thanks to technology people are increasingly distanced from each other. Without interaction they have little identity which is nowadays vested more in merchandising than roles in society.

How many times have I read "He/She said to me....and I'm hurt." You try to point out that one should judge people's actions not words, and you get a null response. Sincerity is often misconstrued as confrontation. And what of people in self-denial. (This topic is a case in point which is so far removed from spiritual development one has to wonder. Has the O/P considered things? Learned?)

Many of the "problems" I read here aren't really spiritual in the self development arena, they aren't about finding self or the route to peace and Utopia.

But.....there is always the chance that a few WILL learn something - about themselves, the cosmos, the perceived reality of their situations - that's great.

No sense in turning to the astral or weak occult techniques BEFORE seeing if the solution lies in the mundane.

♥

[starnight1]

Originally Posted by Surf Rider

I'm at a tough spot in my life. It seems that everything I was ever taught about life was a lie. All of it. Career, love, marriage, happiness....it was all a lie. I'm not sure what to believe now.

when u feel everything seems wrong, everything....
then its a time u need a deep spiritual change.
I v been in same situations, similar relationships/hopes and dreams,
sometimes we live in a delusion, but we just don't know it.....