An Empath and a Gemini

OnAPath · #1 14-12-2015, 05:35 PM

I'm looking for an outsider's view. I'm married to a Gemini. He worries about everything, and stresses himself out over everything. For him, the true Gemini comes out at this time, everything is fine, until the point at which it is not fine, and the sky is falling. For the past few weeks, he has been very stressed about training he needs to complete. High stress. Last night, something was bothering him, and I asked if he was alright. He did not want to talk about it, but I did not tell him that I literally feel the same way he does. I do not want to put up an emotional wall between us, but if I can not explain the emotions that come in to me, I feel them more strongly and can not release them away. He worries that our relationship has fallen apart, but I have trouble telling him that his stress is falling on to me, and I am bearing more than a person can reasonably carry without showing some sort of unhappiness.

Do I tell him really what's going on? Will he be receptive? Will it distance us? Do I give him the emotional support he needs and gloss over it until a later time?

rainbow.sprinkles · #2 14-12-2015, 10:36 PM

tough question. I'm very empathic and I used to date a gemini and his emotions were certainly all consuming and huge, explosive even. that said, he did appreciate communication and sharing of feelings, though it could be tough when his emotions were peaked to get consideration of anything outside of those emotions. I would make the effort though, your feelings need to be heard too. just not at the moment that his emotions are peaking. he can't possibly be at 100% ALL the time.

GreenGazer · #3 15-12-2015, 02:21 AM

I am a Cancer/Gemini cusp. I feel ALL THE TIME to the point I feel the need to suppress my feelings and some thoughts that I know will just turn into feelings later. This though is unhealthy and leads to crippling sarcasm and passive aggressiveness. What helps me is a strong physical outlet like a good long cardio session or a controlling outlet like tai chi. The best thing you can do for him is validate his feelings but redirect the emotion behind those feelings. Do you tell him? Of course! Communication is so important. Whether he is receptive or not is irrelevant (but hopefully he will be). You should express how you feel to him firstly for your own sanity. A cooling down period before hand is vital too. Coming from a male perspective and fellow Gemini"ish" person the best time to talk to him, and most men for that matter, is after intimacy (maybe 20-30 minutes after) when you two are enjoying some good food together :) We really are that simple sometimes... Also love and loyalty is sooooo important to the emotional signs so tell him you love him (if you do) often and assure him you are on his side. Also show your wits and tease him a little (gingerly). If he is being super stressed try to get him out of the house (This will be hard because of his heightened emotion but totally worth it if you can pull it off). Try to be spontaneous fairly often so he does not have time to stew in his emotions, if he is taking them to an unhealthy level.

OnAPath · #4 15-12-2015, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenGazer

I am a Cancer/Gemini cusp. I feel ALL THE TIME to the point I feel the need to suppress my feelings and some thoughts that I know will just turn into feelings later. This though is unhealthy and leads to crippling sarcasm and passive aggressiveness. What helps me is a strong physical outlet like a good long cardio session or a controlling outlet like tai chi. The best thing you can do for him is validate his feelings but redirect the emotion behind those feelings. Do you tell him? Of course! Communication is so important. Whether he is receptive or not is irrelevant (but hopefully he will be). You should express how you feel to him firstly for your own sanity. A cooling down period before hand is vital too. Coming from a male perspective and fellow Gemini"ish" person the best time to talk to him, and most men for that matter, is after intimacy (maybe 20-30 minutes after) when you two are enjoying some good food together :) We really are that simple sometimes... Also love and loyalty is sooooo important to the emotional signs so tell him you love him (if you do) often and assure him you are on his side. Also show your wits and tease him a little (gingerly). If he is being super stressed try to get him out of the house (This will be hard because of his heightened emotion but totally worth it if you can pull it off). Try to be spontaneous fairly often so he does not have time to stew in his emotions, if he is taking them to an unhealthy level.

Wow, this is like a MANual!!! haha I really see all of your points. He's central Gemini, but many of his traits are yours as well. Thank you for the insight!

GreenGazer · #5 15-12-2015, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnAPath

Wow, this is like a MANual!!! haha I really see all of your points. He's central Gemini, but many of his traits are yours as well. Thank you for the insight!

No problem :) Us Gemini's (cancer cusp makes it worse) can be a little overly compassionate at times but our love is always more fierce than our hate, at least with me, and we love and protect our own like no other. The the twin sign can be very cunning and calculated, showing one side to one and another to another. We are commonly, and usually purposefully, underestimated or misunderstood because we understand the advantage in this. Don't cross us, our friends, or our family (especially our spouses) because we tend to take it very personally and will hold back nothing to protect our clan, using all of our wits and compassion. We don't need violence, though we can put up a fight, because we can be master manipulators (this is our dark side of the twin that we must gain the mastery over). We are the best friend and the worst enemy. We seem to have a tendency for mischief. We keep life interesting but really need a grounded/ing mate to keep us in line and, of course, we can be the best lovers when we find our one.

The more I think about it the more interesting a mix Cancer/Gemini creates.

GreenGazer · #6 16-12-2015, 03:38 AM

fun little after fact...I was looking at famous cancer/gemini cuspers and just found out one of my favorite actors, John Goodman, is one :) makes me like him even more...

FairyCrystal · #7 20-12-2015, 10:39 AM

I realize this topic is about a week old, but I still feel like replying. What I read here, is all about him him him him him.
What about you? There's two in a relationship, or at least there should be.
Just because you are an empath doesn't mean to say that he should become the centre of your universe!
Get some healthy boundaries going. That doesn't mean you create an emotional wall. It means you make a clear distinction between what's him and what's you. Where one ends and the other begins. You are both individuals, you don't have to merge with him because you are married. You don't have to sacrifice your own energy and feeling good because of the other. You really should never do that! Some may think doing so is love, it's not!
Love yourself, get some healthy boundaries and make sure your energy remains as high as possible. That's the only way you can help him. It'll help him to raise his own frequency. By you lowering yours to meet him energetically, you're not doing him any favours at all. All that happens is that now you both feel bad. Is that love? I think not.

So make sure you stay high in vibration, let him meet you. That way he will start to feel better, and it won't drag you down. And if he doesn't ... well, he's a grown man. You cannot change him, he will have to do that himself. It's a choice he has to make, no one else can do that for him. All you have to worry about is: does it make me happy to be with a man who's always stressing, worrying, depressed ... who's always down there? Bear in mind that it means that you have to be the masculine party in this relationship because he can't handle anything. He's now the feminine man, a guy with a whinging, whining anima (the feminine part of him, Jung) and it's ruling/ruining both your lives.
Is that what you want in life and a relationship? Does that really make me happy? And be very honest with yourself.

And yes, talk to him. Tell him how you feel. About time he takes responsibility for his actions. (no one else can do it for him, not even a loving wife. That's easy for him, but won't make you happy, will likely end in you resenting him.)

Yazs · #8 21-12-2015, 01:27 PM

Hi I am an Aquarius and was with a Gemini. Had a great time, please don't beat yourself up and remain who you naturally are. He will meet you on your level rather than fueling the fire.