:( need healing

mystical · #1 29-05-2012, 10:47 PM

i have been really struggling the last few days . today friends of mine came round and we done a meditation on connecting with the twin .... i havent foucsed so much lately on him and some days i do doubt esp when i dont feel anything . i can think of him some weeks and feel nothing . other weeks think of him and feel uplifted and smile knowing we are forever connected and then like today ... it hurt me do bad to think of him , to remember what we had , i know this sounds stupid but it does it literally is soul destroyin to remember , it makes me angry and frustrated becasue i have felt peace for weeks , no pain nothing , then out the bluelike todya it hits me really hard , the ego has lured me into a false sense of security making me think his connection wasnt real and hw can it be when i stopped feeling? but suddenly its back ;( and i dont want it anymore , i hate it and i feel cursed ,like i can nevr fully move forward with my life , he is all i want , the thought of living without him and leaving him in the past is soooooooooo hard and it makes my soul whince :(((( i just cant do it , . i want him out of my head and t stay out yet sadlyh the univers ewill not allow this and it sucks it really sucks , cos he is all i wnat in life , he is everything i could eevr ask for , and hope to have but yet ............... hes everythign i dont want anymore cos i cant stand it , i cant bare it no more hes either in or out im tired and had enough , can people send me sum healing thoughts please as right now i fel so lost :(

#2 29-05-2012, 10:52 PM

I will send you what I can manage. And humbly ask for the same thing myself.

I'd also like to say, that if you substitute "she" for "he", I am in almost exactly the same place as you. It's destroying me, it's no longer improving me, I'm dying without her, and with her feeling so negatively toward me. I've asked for help from my guides, to help me let go, or to at least tone down the connection, but it's as strong as ever :(

#3 29-05-2012, 10:57 PM

I'll do it for you too, and for you wolf. I feel generous today hahaha

mystical · #4 29-05-2012, 11:02 PM

course i will . i cant believe i am back here AGAIN for months i have been forging ahead just egtting on with it , and since those dreams of him i have been rock bottom and a s much as i try to lift myself i jst keep crying , i know im releasing on another level clearin from possibly another lifetime but even that thought doesn help ...... in my mind i hear him sya ... leave me be , frget about me . I SO WISH THAT WAS THE CASE , whats the point in this connection , the hope has died , the dreams shatered and i just cnat get that spark back in myself or the belief back . so why continue with it if its just to cause more pain :(

smARTistic girl · #5 29-05-2012, 11:16 PM

I have enough for you all right now. I am feeling so much better now that I get to share this TF concept with mine. (I finally got a thumbs up from the universe/God this evening... a sense of peace that I'm on the right track.. in the right heart space to do so. :)

But about six months ago I was in that very same place you find yourselves - broken and hopeless. I strongly suggest finding someone with whom you can share all of this stuff without feeling like you have to 'edit'. It took me sharing it all with a good friend before I was able regain my balance and see things more clearly. I say this not to make you feel bad, but hopefully give you hope that things CAN turn around.

Peace and blessings to you all. <3

#6 29-05-2012, 11:38 PM

When you feel in these moments it is fear taking over your emotions - allow it - feel it - accept that this too is part of your personal growth. It brings forth deep buried beliefs, fears and emotions for cleansing. You have a choice - you can either allow it, observe it and release it or you can fight it however fighting it will only bury it again to come forth again...

Meditation from the heart centre WILL help with this - focus on the heart centre and your breathing - nothing else...don't ask for anything or allow anything to distract you - just allow it all thru you.

Love and light to you all xxxx

mystical · #7 30-05-2012, 08:01 AM

i just dotn want to delude myself further . when im focused i know what i have to do . but this connection makes me feel as tho im insane :(mentally ill . i become scared paranoid .doutbeveryone . and just feel as though im drowning . i hate feeling like this . and no matter how much i try to remain positive , eventually i hit that brick wall . guess i just have to keep telling myself its just a clearing .but ... it is his birthday on monday and i was going to send him a letter and his present . so maybe im just feeling these emotions cos of this? ... thanks for the healing folks much appreciated right now

#8 30-05-2012, 08:20 AM

Healing sent yesterday mystical and loads more today, i think right now you have other issues too that dont really help, maybe try to focus on those things first just remember we are always here for you

#9 30-05-2012, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mystical

i just dotn want to delude myself further . when im focused i know what i have to do . but this connection makes me feel as tho im insane :(mentally ill . i become scared paranoid .doutbeveryone . and just feel as though im drowning . i hate feeling like this . and no matter how much i try to remain positive , eventually i hit that brick wall . guess i just have to keep telling myself its just a clearing .but ... it is his birthday on monday and i was going to send him a letter and his present . so maybe im just feeling these emotions cos of this? ... thanks for the healing folks much appreciated right now

Try (definition) Verb:
Make an attempt or effort to do something: "he tried to regain his breath";

Allow (definition) Verb:
To offer a possibility; admit; To let do or happen

Both of the words above are DOING words - a choice you can make on the action to take - listen to the vibration of both words - which one sounds harder and less likely to relieve your pain?

Ask yourself shall I keep trying or simply allow?

And then look up the meaning of accept which is your next action.
Xxxx

Quest · #10 30-05-2012, 02:10 PM

I'm sending you positive healing energy too. We all care about you and we are here to support you! I feel for you since I had a similar release last night, on my birthday, the 3d in a row that my TF has ignored. It stings, yet, I tried to focus on all of those special people who DID think of me yesterday and made my day truly special. At the end of the day though, I would have gladly exchanged all of those wishes for just 2 words from my TF. It's insane to think this way. You aren't alone, M! We are all a little mental and insane around here! lol Hugs to you!!