Help, what to do... My twin flame left me:( she told me she doesn't love me anymore

[Moccochocco12]

Alright I mostly just need to let this out but I also need some advice. :( so about two years ago, I am positive that I met my twin flame, the love of my life, my other half.

I will try and summary our time together really quickly so I don't give you guys too long of a read. When I first met her, it was instant fireworks. I had no idea I would meet someone who would absolutely turn my life around and change it forever, but I did, and I was at a family friend's party. The moment I looked at her she was something special, as in something truly about her soul was special and I was so drawn to her, and we talked all night.

From there we kept in touch everyday. It felt like we'd known each other for many years even though we'd only been talking for three days. Months went on and things between us could not be more perfect.

I've never loved someone so incredibly much, or felt such an intense and warm love towards me. After a few months, I asked her to be my girlfriend.. I guess you could say this is when the "runner" side to her started to come out. The first time I asked her, she freaked out and told me she needed more time... But after awhile she finally said yes, but did tell me she was very afraid of being hurt.

Things were still perfect, but a few months into the actual relationship, chaos started erupting. Even though I have never felt a more intense or powerful or insane love for a human being, I seemed to always **** up and cause her an intense amount of pain... Even though the situation might seem small to an outsider, I brought out her greatest fears (of being hurt), and this caused me the greatest pain of my life that I have ever experienced (to hurt her, or losing her).

We stayed in a relationship for a year and a half until just recently when she left me, and it was the most intense thing I have ever experienced... That I am still experiencing. Things were so hot and cold, even though I've always had unconditional love for her, the pain she has caused me is indescribable, yet I still love her stronger than the last day and that love only ever continues to grow. She was always the one trying to get away... She always tried to end it, wouldn't talk to me for days, created breaks in our relationship to cut off contact with me for awhile because she said she couldn't handle the chaos between us because it was all too much and it didn't make any sense to her.

About halfway through our relationship, she enlightened me with the idea of "twin flames". She said that she had read about it online two weeks into knowing me, and instantly knew that I was hers. Throughout the course of our relationship, she has always thought that I was her twin flame. When I looked it up after she told me this, I instantly knew that all the crazy things I was feeling, meant that she was my twin flame too.

I've done some things that have hurt her (never intentionally... I only ever wished to show her happiness and love), but alas I still did, but a lot of the times when we would argue, by the end of it neither of us would know what it was we were even arguing about. About two weeks ago she finally told me that she'd had enough of my treatment towards her... Apparently id been cold and unloving towards her and she would have none of it anymore. I fought and fought to keep the relationship, but she kept pulling away more. Finally, I could see the pain she was in, so I agreed it was best that she find happiness without me and our relationship has done enough damage to her.

Ending it, and about a week in of not talking to her (she said she couldn't keep in contact with me), I messaged her desperate to talk to her. She answered relieved to talk to me too, but eventually the clashing between us starts again and the intense arguments are happening again and honestly I couldn't even tell you what exactly they were about. Then, things died down, and she brought up the twin flame idea again. We made peace, and we talked for hours on end about the connection we have and always will have, and how we are each other's twin flames. She told me that she will always love me and that she just needed time to heal from the pain caused in this relationship... She had a lot of inner work to do. I told her I understood. She said she couldn't keep in contact with me at all for a long time because I would just distract her and we wouldn't get any better, but that she was always there for me.

That conversation kind of ended ebruplty, and I guess she was looking for some closure and to talk to me a little bit more to finally say goodbye.. But I didn't answer any of her messages because my phone wasn't on me. I went and partied all weekend, got super high and drunk, and was so high that I didn't have the right mind to charge my phone at all, all weekend. It's not something I'm too proud of... I didn't start drinking or getting high until she left me a few weeks ago.. It numbs the pain of her not being with me. When the weekend was over and I could finally talk to her, she was more upset with me than I could've ever imagined. We got in a huge argument, because she said she was sick of me causing her such deep pain like I did this weekend, but I argued saying that I couldn't have caused her pain because I didn't talk to her.. I in no way caused her direct pain. This made her extremely angry, and she was so upset that I would say that I didn't cause her any pain when I had apparently caused her so much. She told me she was going to block me on all social media and on the phone, and that she was wrong about me being her twin flame. She told me that she has moved on from me, and that she was ready to find a "normal" relationship where the guy doesn't hurt her so much. She said that she doesn't love me anymore, and the twin flame stuff was just all in her head :(

We haven't talked since... I have never felt such pain... Heard such painful things from someone's mouth. She's cut me completely off, and I've never felt such deep pain being cut off from her. I don't know what to do... I've considered death.. Though I know that death is not as painful as this. Someone, please give me advice. What in the world is it that I am supposed to do... :/ :( I know with all of my heart that she is my twin flame, but now I've lost her. I can still feel her love for me though... I always have, but now I have no way to contact her and it is the most painful experience I have ever felt in my entire life.

[Kalika]

Could you write to her to explain your feelings? Would it hurt you if she didn't respond?

I'm hoping the pain subsides soon and that eventually you'll find neutral ground where you can both communicate openly and listen and respect each others feelings.

Wishing you the best. This is a great place for support.

[hineahuone]

I can tell you even if the right person is telling you they love you, if you don't love yourself then nobody is going to be the right person for you. Your partner needs to do some deep healing and as I tell others here, they have to do it on their own. You will also need to do similar work because if you are twins, you are mirrors of one another and the same things they are struggling with, you also have to release and clear. There are some good teachers and healers online that I have found. Not sure if I can share the links on here, but you can PM me and I will share them with you.

I have done lots of work and I am learning to love myself and let go of my fears and in doing so I am drawing my twin closer to me. He is also doing his own work and I have seen little signs that he is changing and growing as well. It makes me very happy when I know things are improving for him and I at the same time, so the balance is starting to occur.

Best wishes with your journey

[Moccochocco12]

Whatshername, I could try... I'm not sure if she would respond. And I don't know... Yes it would hurt of course, but idk if not saying anything at all or saying something and getting no response will hurt me more.

Hineahuone, you're probably right when you speak of the deep healing that needs to take place. We are different in many ways... But also parallel.. We both have always had a lot of self love problems. She thinks very very lowly of herself, and I think extremely lowly of myself. She has no reason to think lowly of herself though.. She is wonderful in every way. Though she claims she feels so bad about herself because of our relationship and I have brought out her biggest insecurities and fears, and that makes me feel god awful that I was able to do that to her. You could say the same about me too... I've always had such deep fears of letting people down, and I've let her down. Now I feel worse about myself than I ever have before, and I couldn't be in any more pain than I am right now.

I have a question though... How is it possible to love your twin flame so much, if you don't love yourself? I still think very lowly of myself, but love my twin flame. How is that possible if my twin flame technically IS "myself"?

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by Moccochocco12

Whatshername, I could try... I'm not sure if she would respond. And I don't know... Yes it would hurt of course, but idk if not saying anything at all or saying something and getting no response will hurt me more.

I have a question though... How is it possible to love your twin flame so much, if you don't love yourself? I still think very lowly of myself, but love my twin flame. How is that possible if my twin flame technically IS "myself"?

I think as humans we tend to idealise a romantic love and seperate them from ourselves. It is the paradox of love that not loving ourselves keeps us in seperation from others.

[Kalika]

Originally Posted by hineahuone

You will also need to do similar work because if you are twins, you are mirrors of one another and the same things they are struggling with, you also have to release and clear.

Hi hineahuone, I'm not sure if this is correct. My understanding was that each Twin awakens at different times and heal on different levels. It is not until all the work is done that a union can happen (don't quote me, I'm still figuring this out). So if a Twin is not aware (yet) of their own work that needs doing, how can one have the same struggle? How can one twin even know where to begin if the other twin is not aware yet? So what you are saying is that because I was raised in a home where both parents were not emotionally available, they were too? I'm finding this all too baffling.

I have been exposed to the work that I need to do, however I have no clue if this is the same for my twin. I have no clue if they even know what TF means. I can only focus on myself and send good wishes their way.

Thanks for bringing this up, it is something that has been plaguing me.

[Delay_Reaction]

Welcome to the forums,

The thing that struck me most was when you said that the pain "SHE" had caused you was indescribable. That she was hot and cold, running away, etc...

Then she told you the exact same thing.

This type of mirroring should be looked at on a deeper level.

Looking at your own behavior, what could you fix in yourself to stop yourself from acting cold towards her?

I remember when my twin was running from me, I felt that I was giving her unconditional love, but she later told me she thought I was just stupid, naive, and burdening her with my expectations. She was right.

When I was in pain, I told her how frustrating she was and how I couldn't talk to her. But the pain I thought "SHE" was causing me was actually me refusing to deal with my own fears and caused me to blame her for refusing to deal with our relationship issues.

It took me a while to realize this, but it's just an ego thing. Once I disengaged from my ego, I allowed her to return much more open.

I think it's time to stop numbing the pain you feel and just deal with it head on. Once you heal yourself, you'll be able to approach her from a much better perspective.

Peace and love.

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by Moccochocco12

Though she claims she feels so bad about herself because of our relationship and I have brought out her biggest insecurities and fears, and that makes me feel god awful that I was able to do that to her. You could say the same about me too... I've always had such deep fears of letting people down, and I've let her down. Now I feel worse about myself than I ever have before, and I couldn't be in any more pain than I am right now.

What you indicated here is very significant...

This may not make much sense to you while you are going through this - and if it doesn't, that's alright. For both of you to completely heal/purify yourselves - the full weight of the emotional energy associated with these fears/insecurities from your past needed to be stimulated/activated so that it could rise to the surface and be entirely consciously acknowledged and processed so that it can finally be released/purged once and for all. Otherwise it would simply continue to be stored within you, suppressed, pushed down, and avoided (hiding from it) - continuing to cause you problems in your life. You reach a certain point in your conscious growth/development where you are ready to face this fear/insecurity head on and the Universe coordinates a life experience which will serve as a trigger and activate all that stored emotional energy within you so that it can ultimatedly be purged/released as part of the purification process. Yes I know it feels like hell when you are going through something like this but there is a higher purpose behind all this. When you get to the other side of this hurting you will come to perceive this experience in a much different light than you are seeing it in now.

Let me give you a brief example of how I experienced what I am describing above. For a significant portion of my life I was greatly afflicted by feelings of self-rejection (inability to accept my 'self', or who I thought I was). In my late 20's I began to go through a period of significant internal changes & growth. I then found myself experiencing a set of circumstances that would seem not all that serious on the surface to most individuals - however that set of circumstances came into my life at this special/important time in my life and actually served to trigger the full weight of the emotional energy within me that was associated with the feelings of 'rejection' (self-rejection). It all came rising to the surface and I felt just awful for a good length of time. I didnt know what I was actually going through at the time and it was so strange to me that I was reacting the way that I was to those surface level external circumstances. My internal reaction was disproportionate to the circumstances that elicited that reaction. I can only tell you in hindsight now that what I experienced was a hugely significant emotional purging - one which I absolutely needed to go through. In the end it ended up freeing me up and liberating me from the feelings (emotional energy) which had afflicted me for so much of my life. Never again would I suffer from such feelings - I had experienced a total/complete healing. I want to repeat again that I was not aware of the higher purpose behind that experience while I was actually going through it. So it's okay if you don't feel this way right now about what you're going through. Just keep an open mind that this is part of something much bigger than you currently realize - part of a higher process that is playing out.

I strongly suspect that you both needed to interact in the manner that you did so that you could trigger one another and evoke these very significant/substantial emotional releases - for the purpose of both of you ultimately healing yourselves. It may be wise to give this person space and for both of you to focus on what's unfolding within you, individually. I'm confident that eventually you will both come to view this experience in a new light when all is said and done.

Take care of yourself and keep pushing your way through this.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by whatsername

Hi hineahuone, I'm not sure if this is correct. My understanding was that each Twin awakens at different times and heal on different levels. It is not until all the work is done that a union can happen (don't quote me, I'm still figuring this out). So if a Twin is not aware (yet) of their own work that needs doing, how can one have the same struggle? How can one twin even know where to begin if the other twin is not aware yet? So what you are saying is that because I was raised in a home where both parents were not emotionally available, they were too? I'm finding this all too baffling.

I have been exposed to the work that I need to do, however I have no clue if this is the same for my twin. I have no clue if they even know what TF means. I can only focus on myself and send good wishes their way.

Thanks for bringing this up, it is something that has been plaguing me.

I think that the mirroring becomes more intense as you reach a state of balance. I am being mentored by someone who told me about energy exchange and the mirroring effect and that the stuff that comes up for healing is often similar in both twins, then they seperate and go about doing their own healing. I see in a lot of posts that people cannot understand the seperation side of it and are very distressed. We should not try to understand it the same way as a 3D relationship, but it is our conditioning and we need to release a lot of expectation of a conventional relationship with our twin. I cannot see that happening with my twin, but I want our union nonetheless.

It’s a saddening story as ever when people break apart, when (domestic) love falls apart, when early expectations aren’t met and friction happens. However, you have brought the issue here so - trying. to be as constructive as I can, I ask if it’s possible you made a mistake?

It would seem so easy. You meet someone to whom you’re attracted. Everything seems wonderful. You see a few signs that you interpret hopefully so you wave the twin flame flag. But then things go wrong. Do twin flames hurt each other? Do they deceive, etc?

From what I’ve learned in this neck of the woods tfs are supposed to help each other evolve, grow together. So, causing hurt and anguish or being on the receiving end of same, would suggest that tolerance and patience are needed to reconcile the twin spirits if it's at all possible. I suppose it could work but the danger is getting obsessive when one or the other has changed their mind. So you lose someone you believe you love a lot? Did you both deserve the other's love? Is it a love that can endure the slings and arrows? Does she think that with you, you can both grow and evolve?

So, hand on heart, two questions –
Do you believe the differences can be reconciled?
Is it possible you got it wrong?
These, you have to answer with ruthless honesty.

I have no twin flame. My soul is complete and needs no mirroring. I’ve “grown” far on my own. But I know of a soul mate that I'm never likely to hurt. It just isn’t there. There are differences, occasional disagreements but I've no wish to assert myself over her. In many ways we are interdependent. Perhaps I’ve wrongly imagined it to be the case with twin-flames. If you really are there for each other, is hurt even possible?

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