Is it possible to be destined to be alone forever?

Yes, but you see, you're still being so negative about yourself. It rests with you now - you can wallow in self-pity or you can take a stand against it. Depression isn't easy to fight but you have to make a start somewhere. You have to tell yourself that things are improving day by day.

You can also assure yourself that you will find something good about every day.

Avoid any negative affirmations - so rather than tell yourself you're getting less negative each day (moving away from your current state), tell yourself things are panning out better for you (moving into a new state). Every time you're alone and you pass a mirror, tell yourself this.

Rather than try to analyse what's wrong with you - because it's probably nothing except you keep reinforcing the negative - just concentrate on knowing you're as good as anyone else and things are improving. Self analysis can be destructive if you get it wrong.

...

[O]

Originally Posted by Lovely

I haven't check this thread in a few days I've been busy. I'm so happy over the support I've gotten for this I teared up reading some of them (happy tears ofc) I'm struggling with depression and was feeling really low when I wrote this.

I go through phases where I'm good and love myself but I look around and realize I still have no friends or partner even though I'm happy and talking to people. Then I wonder whats wrong with me and think maybe I'm just lying to myself when I think these positive things.

I lost my grandma recently and even though she was old part of me thought she would never die. I really had to face death and realize it can happen and this fed my fear I'm wasting my life. If I died right now I'll die with no friends or life experience and it was all a waste and that scares me to no end. I've been trying to turn my life around and fix it and talk to people apply for jobs and register for college but of course this all takes time and I want it to go faster because I hate where I am.

This is getting so off topic sorry lol. I just feel so rushed because I know how fragile life is and I'm scared I'll lose it all tomorrow and not know what to do.

I also feel this sense of failure that I haven't found someone who loves me because when I was 11 my sister was in her 20s and getting married so I thought that's hiw its supposed to be. And here I am with no one so I wonder whats wrong with me.

But it still scares me to think even if I do what ever I can to improve myself I could still end up alone.

Oh dearest Lovely...{people are most likely going to strongly dislike these comments, but idc }...if I could travel out to wherever you live and spend a few days with you showing you how amazing you are, how amazing life is, how to relax, and how silly your worries are, I would.
There is no rush, you are doing a great job (you really can't screw it up ), and whether or not you have a mate doesn't define you nor does it really even matter. All that matters is you. Don't let other ppl's beliefs and fears pour onto you. Relax, enjoy your life, explore your life, explore yourself, and the rest will flow. There's no hurry, I promise.

and ps...I think we all have 'downer' days. I still do, where I wonder "what in the world was I thinking when I decided to come here???"

[Mused]

You are not wasting your life... It's not a competition. Every moment is where you are supposed to be at that time, and you can only try to do your best in any circumstance. I'm sorry about your granma, losing someone close is never easy. But, worrying will not improve things, it only creates more anxiety ... Be gentle with yourself.

[present_in_pain]

Hi, I don't know if this helps, but, I feel EXACTLY the way you do. I'm 32 today, have been alone almost all my life, and am convinced that it will not change. The first time I had the experience of a kiss was at 23.

You're not alone in feeling this way.

[CarolineD]

I'm sorry for you...
That sounds miserable.

I'm sorry for this question, but maybe something's wrong with your appearance? I know that it's not the most important thing in relationship but still, check it out.

Also you need to go deep inside yourself, I mean into your soul and think about it.
Maybe there are some problems inside which hinder you to find a partner.

I wish you good luck and to start an amazing relationship :)

[CarolineD]

Originally Posted by present_in_pain

Hi, I don't know if this helps, but, I feel EXACTLY the way you do. I'm 32 today, have been alone almost all my life, and am convinced that it will not change. The first time I had the experience of a kiss was at 23.

You're not alone in feeling this way.

A lot of people have the same problems, believe me.


Personally I have kind of this problem. I had the relationships before but they all just finished.
Currently I'm single for more than 3 years. And I just can't find anyone to start relationship with. I usually have enough attention from the men's side but I don't like anyone. Maybe this is my very high requirements.
Even if I fall in love, that person doesn't like me. And this is like a vicious circle.

[Shinsoo]

Originally Posted by Lovely

The past 7 years I've had not one "real life" friend. And I'm 20 and not one person has ever loved me or been attracted to me romantically or sexually. I try to force my self to be positive but always feel this deep dark feeling in my gut that I truly am unloveable and will never have one person romantically love me.

I know "20 is young!!! you have your whole life ahead of you" but I don't know one person in my life who is/was 20 and still unloved. My sister found her husband at 19. And here I am almost 21 and not ONE guy even liked me. And on top of that my instincts are rarely wrong, i truly feel im born to be unloved.

It really hurts and I have so much love to give but I know no one wants it. I think of all the people who died young before they had the chance to find love or who are old and never been loved and think it's not impossible that that will be me. In fact thinking of all the people I met and was rejected by it's impossible to think anyone would want me.

It hurts because it maked me wonder whats wrong with me. I "put myself out there" it's not like I'm waiting for love to show up at my doorstep. But no one wants me. And i think this year it will finally happen. But ive been thinking that since I was a young teenager and it never has. Im sorry this sounds whiny I'm just really hurting right now

I always hear about "soul mates" or "twin flames" and I like to believe there's a foot for every shoe but. Im starting to think I'm the exception. Maybe I did something wrong in a past life? Maybe Im just destined to be alone. But I want to know is it true everyone has a "soulmate" of sorts? Or is it just a few lucky people? Or am I a bad person?

I wasn't romantically loved until I was 25 years old--by two people at the same time. Since then, I've only been felt for that way one other time. I myself have had numerous crushes however.

I haven't actually been in a bonafide romantic relationship, much less a sexual one for over a decade. So I feel you...it gets real lonely.

But think of it this way. I know, at the soul level, I was tired of cheap, dishonest, deviant romantic and sexual relationships I've had over many lifetimes. The fact that I am physically ugly, with a rather reserved, negative outlook, as well as a persnickety, fussy personality, is because I wanted to be loved despite all the ugliness for exactly who I was. Only the one perfect for me would be able to take me and love me exactly as I am.

I know my One is out there, just haven't met him yet.

Just another way of looking at the situation--some of it might be your own doing, but other parts might be divinely inspired. You are to learn something from this.

[Clover]

Yes it's possible to be alone and never partner. I had two great aunts that lived together and died alone together. Never married, never partnered, at least as far as we know. We called them "The aunts" and family members would always use their example as a scare tactic. "You better find a partner or you will end up like the aunts". When they died in the 1980's, family found all sorts of divinity items ( tarot cards) in their home. The Catholic family members called it witchcraft, I beg to differ, they were just too progressive for their times.


Personally, I've been liking my space and time alone. I don't think I could ever live with another person again. I never did prior, I always had my own space and It's so much better this way, at least for this period in my life. Love is freedom. *high fives the aunts*

[inspirit]

Lovely: I know your question is, is it possible to be destined to be alone forever? First of all forever is a long time. If you believe in heaven and life after death, then no you won't be alone forever. That isn't possible. But I think this is about you finding love on this earth before you grow old.

What do I think, I think the reason you haven't met anyone yet is because you are searching for the one. Anyone else isn't what you want and so you aren't even going to waste time with it. And since it's taking a while to find the one it seems like you're destined to be alone. But really you're just holding out. It would be like if you were looking for the perfect house. Some people might be willing to settle for anything that remotely resembles a house, but you already have a picture in your mind of what the house you want looks like. You're not going to buy a house that isn't the right house. You'd sooner continue living with your family even though that drives you crazy.

OK so I hope that helps. You're too young and beautiful to be worrying about things like this. Just keep praying and imagining the person of your dreams. And don't be afraid to talk to men and ask a guy out if you see someone you find extremely attractive.