Why do we only feel a strong connection to certain people?

[O]

Originally Posted by Lightworker888

The way I differentiate it from just attraction is by the feeling I get when we make eye contact. That says it all for me.

That's a very good tip you gave there.

Originally Posted by Wolfgaze

I think physical attraction is one level of attraction, but it's more rooted in our physical desires and biological instincts... You can find yourself physically attracted to someone you don't even know and have never interacted with. Then there is a mental/emotional component to attraction - and this is like adding another layer of complexity. Finally there is the attraction on the level of one's state of consciousness and their energy that they radiate.

Of course these are not mutually exclusive and some elements or components of attraction can be present alone or in conjuntion with one another

I think the 'bonus' notion you alluded to would lend itself true... It's kind of like icing on the cake when the other levels of attraction are present.

Well said.

[Hanalei]

Originally Posted by Lightworker888

The way I differentiate it from just attraction is by the feeling I get when we make eye contact. That says it all for me.

Yes!!! It's a distinctly different feeling than making eye contact with anyone else. And very few guys will have such an effect. In fact, only guys have ever had that effect for me personally, so... apparently it doesn't apply to platonic relationships?

[Lightworker888]

Originally Posted by Hanalei

And very few guys will have such an effect. In fact, only guys have ever had that effect for me personally, so... apparently it doesn't apply to platonic relationships?

I can't say I've experienced this with someone of the same gender. Eye contact is very powerful in general and I certainly can tell a lot of someone's feelings through that, regardless of attraction. What I have felt with others I'm not attracted to, quite often, is a mutual respect for eachother as strangers, and a strange sort of compassion.
And of course, we have to take into account that sexual energy is very strong, and is certainly heightened when two people are being pulled together by another force like this.

[Hanalei]

Originally Posted by Lightworker888

And of course, we have to take into account that sexual energy is very strong, and is certainly heightened when two people are being pulled together by another force like this.

Do you think that might contribute to the strong reaction with certain people? There's some sort of sexual chemistry mixed in with whatever/wherever the rest of this strange connection comes from?


I think you're right about people of the same gender, too - it's more of just a feeling of respect, and feeling like you just really understand each other.

[Lightworker888]

Originally Posted by Hanalei

Do you think that might contribute to the strong reaction with certain people? There's some sort of sexual chemistry mixed in with whatever/wherever the rest of this strange connection comes from?

I personally think that sexual desires and strong impulses are a secondary effect of these types connections, but are sometimes necessary to be there before hand for other sorts. For example, I can compare two guys, one who is 10/10 gorgeous and for whom I have strong sexual desires but no "feelings" as such, and the other who isn't so attractive and if you saw a picture of him you'd probably think "well he's not ugly..." but put me next to him and I'll melt, and if I make eye contact with him it's like sending an electrical pulse through my heart. So I don't think it necessarily matters, but it does play a definite role. I think it's sexual chemistry in a different form, on a soul level rather than a primal level maybe? I don't know lol

It's just the mating game and why Nature bestows us all with different physical properties. Because people mesh in different ways, Nature ensures that the statistical spread of those properties is maintained. It's down to a lot more than just looks. There are pheromones (which many people do their damnedest to hide these days) and the smaller details of gestures and looks that reach into us - to tap into a resonance, the roots of which can be buried deep in our past experiences. It could even be the quality of that handshake or the action of gazes meeting; how much one respected or disrespected a parent and may reflect a need, spotted in those initial seconds of meeting.

Most people realise that most of our communication is beyond words. It's gestures that define things like confidence, assertiveness, passiveness, deference, receptivity, introvert v extrovert and all these affect "first impressions".

I asked myself something like this a long time ago but realised that I'm unlikely ever to meet a conventionally perfect man, an Adonis or whatever, and most of us will always have to do with second, third or n-th best!

Or is it? What would one do with the physically perfect man when the sex ran dry which it inevitably would, and one has to rely on the person as is?

...

[guthrio]

Originally Posted by Hanalei

I was just thinking about this earlier and it makes no sense. As a woman, let's say there are 3 guys in the room with me and I have not talked to any of them before. All 3 of them are equally very physically attractive.

Guy #1 introduces himself, looks me in the eye, and shakes my hand. No emotion. Easy to make conversation, easy to make eye contact.

Guy #2 introduces himself, looks me in the eye, and shakes my hand. Again, no emotion other than thinking he's cute. Easy conversation and eye contact.

Guy #3 introduces himself, looks me in the eye, and shakes my hand. But this time everything in the room except him blurs (meaning I literally do not see anything but him), words don't come easily, and neither of us can hold eye contact for more than one or 2 seconds. It almost feels like he knows what I'm thinking and can see right through me.



My question is, if I found all 3 guys equally attractive, why would there be such a stark difference in the way I feel and act around the 3rd guy compared to the first 2? Surely it's not simply nervous because of physical attraction, if they are all equally good-looking. And if I don't actually know them, there's no emotional attachment. So why on earth would I feel so strongly about the 3rd guy, who I don't know, compared to the other 2 guys (who I also don't know)? Is it because the attraction is mutual? Something else?

Hanalei,

I believe you'll find the following quote from the referenced article very revealing as the answer to your questions:

When we meet someone who seems to instantly "get" us, we will say, "there was something about her that resonated with me.” These statements describe the phenomenon of resonance at work. When we encounter someone that our energetic field "jives" with (meaning that our energetic field is similar to the other person's energetic field), we actually FEEL the sensation of our vibrations matching. It's a wonderful feeling of attraction, deep connection, and "coming home to yourself.” It feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Why does this happen ? Because of resonance. Want to know more ?

I invite you to continue reading the reference below....to see just how this phenomenon can change your life (as you've described above !)

While you are reading, imagine what it would be like to knowingly attract those "just feels right" kinds of situations in every area of your life, not just in relationships.

Enjoy the reference, below. Hope it resonates with you, too!

Reference:http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...0&postcount=15

[Captain]

There are a few components I am aware of so far, and not necessarily in the same order of importance:

1. pheromones(thank goodness for genetic studies)
2. karmic connections
3. familial patterns which closely aligns with #2, karmic connections

[joyfirst]

Yes, I also think it is mostly one's vibration. If we are vibrating insecurity, then we will be attracted to someone who will treat us so we will feel even more insecure. If we do not love ourselves, we will be attracted to someone, who will not love us back. As a matter of fact, we will push away anyone who would, because they do not match our vibration.
However if we love ourselves and life, we will be attracted to person, who can share that with us.
So the third guy might be amazing or not, depending on our vibration and beliefs.