Emotional Attachment and Relationships

[O]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I can only speak for the UK. Part of the problem has been the wholesale closure of facilities for young people to meet. Once there were youth clubs, dance halls and adult education classes that catered to so many interests. Most of these have gone and the young are left with pubs and clubs. Now, the clubs may be nice but they may not be. When you get a bunch of drunk teenagers and inbetweeners with, likely, drug overtones, they are not the places to meet and enjoy the company of the opposite sex. The music usually makes talk impossible, plus there are gangs and the increasing risk of accusations of sexual harassment for simply talking to someone.

Society has become pretty shabby for social interaction.

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I see your points, I do, but I don't think that it has anything to do with that necessarily. In fact, in ways it is easier now to interact and connect with a wider range of people, than before. Just perhaps, in different ways.
I feel as though there is a lot of transitioning and change/growth that takes place up until the age of 30 (give or take), for most (IMO).
Also, anatomically speaking, the frontal lobe (of the brain), in charge of decision making, reasoning, managing emotions, does not fully development until mid 20's.
Unfortunately, it also starts to decline in mid 40's.

Certainly true but the shift seems to have been toward online and the social media. Interactions in that domain are very different - tend to subvert spontaneity (but not impulsiveness!) and allow such frivolities as friending and unfriending, not to forget that many go for posts/responses that are socially desirable. Face-to-face puts one on their toes, so to speak. You don't have time to "compose" a response.

There have been successful relationships started on line even back to the days of the old chat-rooms but these usually evolve over a fairly long time. I met someone on a music forum, talked for about 3 months (perhaps with too little commitment, too frivolously) but when I met the guy it was a disappointment - on both sides, looking back.

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[O]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Certainly true but the shift seems to have been toward online and the social media. Interactions in that domain are very different - tend to subvert spontaneity (but not impulsiveness!) and allow such frivolities as friending and unfriending, not to forget that many go for posts/responses that are socially desirable. Face-to-face puts one on their toes, so to speak. You don't have time to "compose" a response.

There have been successful relationships started on line even back to the days of the old chat-rooms but these usually evolve over a fairly long time. I met someone on a music forum, talked for about 3 months (perhaps with too little commitment, too frivolously) but when I met the guy it was a disappointment - on both sides, looking back.

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You are absolutely right about that.
Personality is huge!!! (Yes, this needs 3 exclamation points). And I don't think that it can always be accurately presented or assessed through social media and online interactions, but it is a stepping point.
And besides, even when you do meet someone in person initially it still takes time to really know them, which can also lead to disappointment.
There is no way to determine how the two will interact in person, especially relationship wise, until they actually do.

[Crystal Eyes]

I am familiar with this issue. I have dealt with it in a close friend that has the same issue.

My advice wasn't and isn't very easy to accept, as I believe there is only one solution:

Stop surrounding himself with female friends, and focus on meeting women he wants to pursue for a relationship that are AVAILABLE. If he gets jealous it is because there is more than a feeling of friendship associated with his female friends.

He will never attract a woman that gives him loyalty if he doesn't stop being this sort of friend to so many females. He has to put forth the energy that he wants to receive it back. He needs clearer boundaries, in my opinion.