Why is he so distant?

Originally Posted by Kiran

It seems my twin flame is trying to separate himself from me, to forget me, to keep me at a distance.

I know he is thinking about me a lot - I can feel it. Every time his thoughts reach me I get a shiver, it has always been so. These chills, and then the sensation of being embraced with white and golden light. They are the sure signs that he is thinking of me.

We live in different cities now, some eight hours in train, and he has got a girlfriend (he already had her when we got to know each other and she has never been a problem - in the first time of knowing him he even wanted to leave her, but I convinced him to stay with her). Our only contact now is per e-mail, and his answers are getting more sparse.

I wrote him some days ago wishing him a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, poured my heart out telling him that he had been always been a great teacher and friend for me, and finally asking him the question of questions: What am I to YOU?

But he didn't answer this question, just wrote back wishing me a nice Christmas and a very happy New Year. And ever since I've been wondering, why is he trying to keep a distance? Why?

They keep their distance because they are afraid to let go and love you. One thing that is said of twin flame is that "IT IS NEVER A ONE WAY STREET" so having said that, they can maintain or give the impression o ambiguity becauase they can't truly say that they don;t love you and feel right about it and they can't say they do because of fear.

the distance and ambiguity is their safety..........................

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Kiran

It seems my twin flame is trying to separate himself from me, to forget me, to keep me at a distance.

I know he is thinking about me a lot - I can feel it. Every time his thoughts reach me I get a shiver, it has always been so. These chills, and then the sensation of being embraced with white and golden light. They are the sure signs that he is thinking of me.

We live in different cities now, some eight hours in train, and he has got a girlfriend (he already had her when we got to know each other and she has never been a problem - in the first time of knowing him he even wanted to leave her, but I convinced him to stay with her). Our only contact now is per e-mail, and his answers are getting more sparse.

I wrote him some days ago wishing him a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, poured my heart out telling him that he had been always been a great teacher and friend for me, and finally asking him the question of questions: What am I to YOU?

But he didn't answer this question, just wrote back wishing me a nice Christmas and a very happy New Year. And ever since I've been wondering, why is he trying to keep a distance? Why?

hahahah mine avoids the main issues all the time! has done from day one.
He will always reply to things that don't push or question him, but obviously we want answers, some of the things i've sent make me laugh and cringe I'd never send them to anyone before or after but these people just behave with such mixed signals, it forces the crazy out to get answers! lol

what i've learnt, pushing makes them close off more, the more you try to force an answer from them the more they will run, the best thing is to pull back and get on with your own life, that balances out the energies more or seems to.

I think when they have all these fears and confusions even when they have let us know the love is there they need to process it in their own minds and get over their fears on their own time for fear of sabataging the relationship, the more we push the more they need to do this alone, so they keep the messages shorter and shorter until we start communicating on a more light hearted basis giving them the time to work on themselves.

My friend in a similar soul connection actually got hers to speak and he said

'it's not that i dont think about you or care but i really need to work on myself, and the conneciton scares me'
then he dissapeared

i guess as yours is in another relationship he's gone into a
cave wondering what the hell to do.

[Kiran]

Originally Posted by mystical

all the words will do is comfort and tell ur ego that he feels the same , actions speak louder , the fact that he is still in your life speaks many volumes .

you speak thro the soul , who needs words :)

Absolutely right, it is always the EGO that wants to be secure and safe when in the SOUL we know that we don't need the words...

Thank you.

[Kiran]

Suikagirl, thank you for your reply... I am sad that your TF shuts you away, the same as with raindropsofhope, very sad... I wish for you that they overcome their fear and dare to show their real feelings. His girlfriend isn't a major issue, he is faithful to her and he loves her a lot, but I know that with me it is different - like he loves her from the HEART, but me he loves with all his SOUL... Maybe we have karma together, like she is his partner for this lifetime but I am his love on the "eternal plane"? Get what I mean?

Lionsheart, I love what you said that IT IS NEVER A ONE WAY STREET... and I guess you are absolutely right that he keeps his distance because he's afraid of his own feelings! I know he damn sure was afraid of me when we first met, it totally sweeped him off his feet and it took me a long time to tranquilize him that I didn't mean to do him or his heart any harm...

miss_believed, thank you for your answer, too. It seems there are more people whose TF is avoiding the main issues here, hehe! I think you are right that he still needs time to process it all (I know I needed a lot of time, too), but hell, it's been six years that we first met and he should know now what I am to him


I guess we can all agree that he surely feels a lot for me, but is scared of telling me, or maybe even of becoming aware himself of the intensity of our connection... but deep down we already know.... that there is between us pure, untainted LOVE... forever...

[mystical]

my twin thinks im out to damage him so he fights all he can against me , sad thing is im with him not against him , all we can do is keep sending love , and hope that they overcome the ego . and the fear of the light

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by mystical

my twin thinks im out to damage him so he fights all he can against me , sad thing is im with him not against him , all we can do is keep sending love , and hope that they overcome the ego . and the fear of the light

mystical you must be close you always seem so balanced lol i swear your time is close even though i don't know you!

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Kiran

Suikagirl, thank you for your reply... I am sad that your TF shuts you away, the same as with raindropsofhope, very sad... I wish for you that they overcome their fear and dare to show their real feelings. His girlfriend isn't a major issue, he is faithful to her and he loves her a lot, but I know that with me it is different - like he loves her from the HEART, but me he loves with all his SOUL... Maybe we have karma together, like she is his partner for this lifetime but I am his love on the "eternal plane"? Get what I mean?

Lionsheart, I love what you said that IT IS NEVER A ONE WAY STREET... and I guess you are absolutely right that he keeps his distance because he's afraid of his own feelings! I know he damn sure was afraid of me when we first met, it totally sweeped him off his feet and it took me a long time to tranquilize him that I didn't mean to do him or his heart any harm...

miss_believed, thank you for your answer, too. It seems there are more people whose TF is avoiding the main issues here, hehe! I think you are right that he still needs time to process it all (I know I needed a lot of time, too), but hell, it's been six years that we first met and he should know now what I am to him


I guess we can all agree that he surely feels a lot for me, but is scared of telling me, or maybe even of becoming aware himself of the intensity of our connection... but deep down we already know.... that there is between us pure, untainted LOVE... forever...

all i mean is maybe if you pull back completely, not in an ignoring way, in a showing love but stepping away and getting on with life in a you wont allow yourself to be played around with kinda way,
reply in the way you would to a friend, will push him to get on with his side quicker as your energy is not 100 percent going onto him, this will make him wake up quicker, not allow him to sit in stale energy of knowing your waiting around on him.

just where im at the moment, i don't know your story.xx
(im coming from someone we both love each other but it hasn't been said, and he's scared been hurt in the past badly, just cause someone loves you they can still sit in stale energy knowing your hanging around!)

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Lionsheart

They keep their distance because they are afraid to let go and love you. One thing that is said of twin flame is that "IT IS NEVER A ONE WAY STREET" so having said that, they can maintain or give the impression o ambiguity becauase they can't truly say that they don;t love you and feel right about it and they can't say they do because of fear.

the distance and ambiguity is their safety..........................

this is why i think sometimes we have to make them feel the fear of loosing us, to override the fear of being with us lol.
feelings need to overtake fears and the fear of loss is probably the best way

i feel we are drawn when it's time to act then released so we can stop giving them 100 percent of our energy they will notice and wake up, and the tables will turn this is the point its about BALANCE, lol easier said than done perhaps

im talking about energy here though not playing games.

[Sarian]

Not to be the bearer of bad news, but what's if he is just not interested?

[miss_believed]

Originally Posted by Sarian

Not to be the bearer of bad news, but what's if he is just not interested?

don't know who that was to but sometimes you just know we can only be guided by ourselves but b y moving on with your energy your not really loosing out anyway if we are totally wrong, all you can do is follow your gut in these cases i think we all know when we are honest with ourselves.