Unspoken mutual attraction... but possible parent issues.

Plumeria · #1 20-01-2016, 10:37 PM

Let's say there is a distinct mutual attraction between a girl and a guy. There is a slight age difference of only a few years (5 or less) and seem to be in a similar place maturity-wise. Both are over the age of consent and legally, there is nothing wrong with the relationship.

The potential for problem is the fact that the girl is legally an adult, and the boy is not yet. The boy's parents seem like they may be the overprotective type who keep close tabs on their son and monitor his online activity, etc. The girl suspects that the parents may have an issue with the relationship simply because of her age and because the parents are so protective of the boy.

When the girl and boy are around each other in person, there is a pretty clear unspoken attraction. They both appear to be nervous and awkward around each other, with the guy trying to hide it when his friends or family are around. But it's obvious to anyone who notices the way he looks at her or how he tries to show off as soon as he sees her.

They have met and chatted briefly during the one time the guy's friends left the room. He approached her and initiated a quick conversation. The girl feels a very strong and unusual connection with the guy, and her gut tells her not to give up on it. They have not talked since the first interaction, and the reason seems to be because there's never been another chance where the guy was not surrounded by his friends.

People tell the girl that she should just ask the guy out because it's clear that he has a thing for her, but he seems to be a little bit nervous and shy due to not having much experience with girls. But she is hesitant to ask him out because she's not sure if his parents would have issues with it and prevent him from saying yes. Legally he is still under their supervision and any relationship would need to have their approval. She's afraid of making things awkward. She contacted him on social media but got no response, and someone else suggested that maybe his parents monitor his online activity and won't let him accept someone they dont know?

What should the girl do in this scenario?

Edit: The chances for the girl and guy to chat one-on-one are very rare, as the guy is always around his friends. She does not know any of his friends and isn't sure how to initiate a friendship with him.

mamahawk · #2 20-01-2016, 10:53 PM

It couldn't hurt to build a friendship first in my humble opinion. I don't see why the girl couldn't first build this friendship and get to know the parents before trying to place labels on the relationship, test out the waters/get her foot in the door so to speak. This could be done either in a group environment or one on one, whatever is more comfortable.

Then again, you never know, maybe things are supposed to get messy, maybe this will lead to growth for both, it's hard to know.

One things for sure, if her gut is telling her not to give up, it's not just infatuation but a knowing, then there is importance to that.

Wish her good luck for me =)

Plumeria · #3 21-01-2016, 12:01 AM

Thank you for your input mamahawk :) She'd like to initiate a friendship but isn't sure how to, since the guy is always surrounded by his friends, so she doesn't get many chances to talk to him.

Adrienne · #4 21-01-2016, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plumeria

Let's say there is a distinct mutual attraction between a girl and a guy. There is a slight age difference of only a few years (5 or less) and seem to be in a similar place maturity-wise. Both are over the age of consent and legally, there is nothing wrong with the relationship.

The potential for problem is the fact that the girl is legally an adult, and the boy is not yet. The boy's parents seem like they may be the overprotective type who keep close tabs on their son and monitor his online activity, etc. The girl suspects that the parents may have an issue with the relationship simply because of her age and because the parents are so protective of the boy.

the girl should find someone else closer to her age ~

I know it isn't easy to think along these lines, but if the boy was your son and there was an older girl of 5 years .... wouldn't you be protective of your son ? put yourself in his parent's shoes ....

5 years depending on the ages, can be quite a difference .... especially if one is noticeably younger.

ps from a few of your other posts, it doesn't quite sound like there is mutual attraction, more on the side of the girl than the guy.

Plumeria · #5 21-01-2016, 12:27 AM

I guess it depends on if the parents get to know her before jumping to any conclusions. She is a particularly responsible, emotionally mature and wise beyond her years kind of girl. She's also on the shy side and as is far from a "player" type as you can get.

O · #6 21-01-2016, 12:43 AM

Hi again Plumeria

And thank you for your posts. You keep it interesting.
I still have hope that one day you will write a thread that says that this boy finally asked you out!

But anyways, at this point I think it's ok to let go and let things happen naturally. If they are meant to, they will.(IMO)

The universe has shocked me many times.

Plumeria · #7 21-01-2016, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olivia13

Hi again Plumeria

And thank you for your posts. You keep it interesting.
I still have hope that one day you will write a thread that says that this boy finally asked you out!

But anyways, at this point I think it's ok to let go and let things happen naturally. If they are meant to, they will.(IMO)

The universe has shocked me many times.

Haha I'm glad I keep you guys entertained! ;)