my partner's parenting choices

[joyfirst]

I did yesterday. :) Of course, you could do it too. You can listen to that book on youtube.

[rainbow.sprinkles]

for anyone who's interested, a little progress update:

he mentioned the other day that he notices whenever I post articles on facebook about positive parenting, gentle parenting, etc, that he does read them and he does get the hint lol. he even specifically asked for my opinion on if he was doing better after attending to a small tantrum the other day. he is making definite strides towards being not just a gentler parent, but a gentler human being in general. he is eager to learn and grow as a person. I am very happy with the progress he's making already and I very much look forward to continuing to witness his self growth. it's humbling to know that I am influencing him, and that he feels I make him a better person. I think it helps me too, because I try to be a positive example through my own actions, so I'm always reminding myself to be less reactive and as kind and gentle as possible myself. I think we're all on a positive path together.

[wolfgaze]

That's good : )

Thanks for the update.

[7luminaries]

Rainbow, I concur with all those who have expressed concern. I would talk to him gently about how important it is to express love and guidance as a parent, how important positive parenting values are to you, and then give verbal examples of real teaching situations with his child that you would handle differently than he current does. I would think he could then work out the gaps for himself.

This behaviour is considered bullying and harassment anywhere else...and long-term, and from someone in a more powerful position (the parent, the teacher, etc), it is considered emotional abuse. The parent has great influence, for good or ill.

It is a wonderful idea to post positive parenting articles, but this is not a substitute for a direct and to-the-point conversation. If you are clear and to-the-point, he will listen. If you are vague or indirect...or if you hint around and meander about and he's not sure where you're going with all of it...then you will probably confuse him.

Good luck~

Peace & blessings,
7L

[rainbow.sprinkles]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Rainbow, I concur with all those who have expressed concern. I would talk to him gently about how important it is to express love and guidance as a parent, how important positive parenting values are to you, and then give verbal examples of real teaching situations with his child that you would handle differently than he current does. I would think he could then work out the gaps for himself.

It is a wonderful idea to post positive parenting articles, but this is not a substitute for a direct and to-the-point conversation. If you are clear and to-the-point, he will listen. If you are vague or indirect...or if you hint around and meander about and he's not sure where you're going with all of it...then you will probably confuse him.

as I've said in my posts, we have been talking about it. and he has been making a conscious effort to be a gentler and less angry person. he keeps coming to me and telling me what he's doing differently every time a situation raises frustration in him, and he is doing so wonderful!

I often share articles I like on facebook about parenting, or save them to my pinterest which is linked to my facebook. I don't do it just to be passive aggressive with him, lol, I save things so I can refer to them later and I share them if I think other parents on my facebook would enjoy reading them. we've had many straightforward conversations about this, especially recently.

[Captain]

There's a big gap btwn a loving parent and an emotionally abusive one. If he has leapt right over the pond that's fabulous but highly unlikely. You seem to think YOU have everything under control but I don't think we are convinced. Professional help is in order ASAP.

[rainbow.sprinkles]

Originally Posted by Captain

There's a big gap btwn a loving parent and an emotionally abusive one. If he has leapt right over the pond that's fabulous but highly unlikely. You seem to think YOU have everything under control but I don't think we are convinced. Professional help is in order ASAP.

he's always been a loving parent. he's never been purposely malicious towards his child. he's just highly emotional and therefore reactive. humans are multifaceted, complicated beings. I'm saying HE is taking control of his emotions and his reactions. he's making a concerted effort and that's extremely important. and I've already addressed the fact that he would benefit from therapy of some sort. if you're not going to read the existing posts before posting and you don't have anything constructive to contribute then please see yourself out of this thread.

[Clover]

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Clover/Staff