I'm Being Messed With

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

Thank you for letting me know.I will give the link a proper reading soon and tell you what I think or understood about your problem...

Sorry for not asking to you this before ,I am thoroughly inexperienced with friendships.Actually its been years since I have only one friend to talk with.
You are the second one ,if you count me as one...

I did NOT gave you the forgiveness method because I thought or think that you have problems with forgiveness.I shared the method with you because
the good scientist Dr. James Hardt found out that effective forgiveness done many times in just a week will lead to the person doing the effective forgiveness in having decades worth of peace ,tranquility and healing(psychosomatic) in just a week.And I have read case studies of how this 14 step method leads to healing psychosomatic problems miraculously so I thought it could help you.

I will share with you the method soon ,since the method is not to be found online...

I don't have much to give because I don't have much in the first place ,but if you think I can be of your help in any way ,just ask and I will do whatever I can.

Anyway, thank you for letting me about your condition and sharing with me the link for the same,I will give it a proper read before I arrive at conclusions.Will let you know what I understood about your problem from that link soon.Meanwhile feel free to tell me more about the trap you are caught in ,I promise to help as much as I can.

Thank you, my sweet.

I don't have any friends either. There are a few on here I talk to, but I don't know if they are friends...I have lived alone for the past 20 years...I don't go out much...I haven't had any friends before either, so all this is pretty new to me as well... it's also why I said the other day, that Siva is my friend... possibly to compensate for the fact that I haven't got any...and nobody to talk to...

The difference is, I have spent over twice your whole lifetime like this and where you are eager to have me as a friend and I shall be happy to be so...As long as you respect my boundaries and give me a lot of space, because I am definitely not used to this and it will take me a while to adjust...

Now, about finding me that identity...

[Shivani Devi]

Okay, so about that trap I'm caught in..

I have seen the full extent of what I'm capable of...or rather, the capabilities that present themselves through me... because by that time, any notion of "I" doesn't exist, and it terrifies me. I have held the power and immediately threw it away like a hot potato...The responsibility that comes with enlightenment is huge, my friend. It is sort of like "this was never part of the deal I signed up for". Yes, there is bliss and love...there is also the ability to warp space and time...to change reality and the physical laws of the universe myself...and I am like DO NOT WANT.

There is also the full transmutation into the Light Body, so you are only a walking shell...A mere husk of a human...A Ghost whilst alive, who walks between planes...not belonging to any World whatsoever, yet has a foot in all of them...DO NOT WANT.

So, I have been holding it back...The full force of my "true self" because it makes me wet my pants and cry "mamma". I have only been letting it through in small increments..As much as I can handle, but it's not good enough.. and it is eroding my soul on every level.

[captainamerica]

I will think more about it and reply by today's end IST.

But I will say something from the top of my head:

I have read that some people with advanced capabilities like yours and some yogis can transfer their mental and spiritual faculties/capabilities to some other person they choose.

So my suggestion is that you ask Shiv ji "transferring which of the mental and spiritual faculties or capabilities ,if any, would be in my (Shivani Devi's) best interests ?"

And based on Shiv ji's response you transfer the faculties or capabilities that are hurting you to me or somebody else who wants/needs it ... I was gonna pay for getting the faculties that you have, so if you have some capabilities that are hurting you and you don't want ... You can send those my way ...or somebody else who is willing to take them...

That way the faculty or capability will no longer hurt you ,plus with Shiv ji 's guidance you will know if doing the transference is in your best interests or not...If it is not in your best interests then simply don't do it.But if Shiv ji says it is in your best interest then I think doing it might be a good idea.And,you don't need to transfer the good ones ,just the ones that are hurting you or the ones that you "DO NOT WANT".

I am up for even taking some painful or bad capabilities ,if that helps you.If it does not then I understand that it is a bad idea.

I apologize if it is a bad idea for some reasons but please know that I put it out because of just good-will and not greed or any other bad intention.

I will give a more thoughtful response soon ,but let me know if the above is a good idea .

edit :
Probably a bad idea but I believe that at least I can take some of your smaller(I am not sure about the bigger ones because I might be too weak to take them..) problems/faculties this way...If you can transfer ...through the help of Shiv ji or your abilities... Again ,I am not doing it out of any bad intention ,you can always ask it from Shiv ji before doing it ,just doing it out of good will as I thought it will be a win win situation for both of us as I am a seeker(of enlightenment ,moksha and liberation) as well ...and you did not want some of the effects so I thought I can help by taking them even if it comes at the cost of some pain ...

Update :
Good news !
I was doing my daily reading and luckily(?) just found out in Lahiri Mahasya ji's commentaries that YOU CAN return these powers or capabilities to god ,so you won't be needing me or any one else to do it ! Have you tried doing it or do you want try this now ?

[captainamerica]

I found about 3-4 potential solutions for you.

One of them is:
I think that your case is very complicated (but not unsolvable) and it will need several hours of back and forth questioning to understand ,diagnose and heal you.And if it would be most fruitful if an expert does it.So I think you need a certified consultant/healer who has experience in healing such cases,and I know just the right person.Coincidentally she channels Shiv ji's wife.

She is Tara springett and she charges about 50 to 100 $ per session and most people with cases such as yours report healing in a few sessions.
If you can afford it then by all means go for it ... let me know if you can so that I can forward you her details.

If you can't afford it ,I can't help much but I think I can give you about 100$ so that you can get a little help from the above consultant...(I can't grantee that I will give you 100$ ,I'd have to look into my finances before I can give you my word but maybe I can if it helps you ...)

Do you wanna give Tara Springett's consulting services a try ?(Given what i know about your troubles and what I know about Tara,I recommend her services highly to you.) .Please let me know.If you can't afford it then also let me know if you are interested ,maybe I can help.

I have 2-3 more solutions which I will be telling you soon but after I do I'll be at the end of my limited knowledge and wits/depth.

[Shivani Devi]

Thanks for your help and support..I shall research her online and watch some YouTube stuff before I decide...I prefer to do my "homework" first.

However, Shiv-ji Himself is helping me out right now...I just dusted off my Tabla..

Ooh, do you like this kirtan ..
https://youtu.be/xL0SLYIz4ag

I need to express myself through music, art and play...and if it is about my Lord, all the better, as it is an offering of Bhakti.

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Thanks for your help and support..I shall research her online and watch some YouTube stuff before I decide...I prefer to do my "homework" first.

However, Shiv-ji Himself is helping me out right now...I just dusted off my Tabla..

Ooh, do you like this kirtan ..
https://youtu.be/xL0SLYIz4ag

I need to express myself through music, art and play...and if it is about my Lord, all the better, as it is an offering of Bhakti.

The bhajan is a bit awkward for me for a funny reason.
This bhajan you gave is an exact copy of a very popular pop song in India ,just the lyrics are changed a bit to include Shiv ji's name.

So imagine one of the latest popular pop songs in your country ,with a little bit of Shiv ji's name in between the lines and the lyrics so that it can be given the title of a Bhajan...

It did give me a chuckle ,thanks for sharing !

And I appreciate your bhakti bhav for Shiv ji ...

Here are four of my favorite songs about Shiv ji :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMBKmQEPNzI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBqdVosM4gU English Lyrics : http://www.krazylyrics.in/2016/09/11...ation-shivaay/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn3fQz9kZzc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WibcvWT7KQQ

I listen to them frequently.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

The bhajan is a bit awkward for me for a funny reason.
This bhajan you gave is an exact copy of a very popular pop song in India ,just the lyrics are changed a bit to include Shiv ji's name.

So imagine one of the latest popular pop songs in your country ,with a little bit of Shiv ji's name in between the lines and the lyrics so that it can be given the title of a Bhajan...

It did give me a chuckle ,thanks for sharing !

And I appreciate your bhakti bhav for Shiv ji ...

Here are four of my favorite songs about Shiv ji :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMBKmQEPNzI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBqdVosM4gU English Lyrics : http://www.krazylyrics.in/2016/09/11...ation-shivaay/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn3fQz9kZzc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WibcvWT7KQQ

I listen to them frequently.

Those are awesome and I like them too, but time for my comments.

About the Shiva Tandava Stotram.... many years ago, I tried to learn it. I had learned Lingashtakham by heart, Bilvashtakham, Rudrashtakham, Shiva Panchakshara Stotram and Shiva Kavacham all by heart...I learned Sanskrit, but English was still my first language... I tried to learn Shiva Tandava Stotram, couldn't get past the fifth verse...It was too hard, and required the utmost control of breath to sing it.

I then learned that it was composed by Ravana...One Day, Ravana decided to test his immense strength, so he went to Shivaloka to lift up Mt Kailasha...He succeeded and Parvati started to panic...Lord Shiva started laughing, and increased His weight massively... pushing Ravana down way under the Earth...Ravana dug back up to the surface, his heart became filled with Bhakti bhav for Lord Shiva, and he composed the Shiva Tandava Stotram on the spot! So, I took my hat off to Ravana, in composing this bhajan that I couldn't even sing!
https://youtu.be/YsWtpDwoVxw

The second one I have seen before, it is okay, but I can take it or leave it....

As for Bam Lehri by Kailash Kher...I LOVE IT!

I spent a week solid listening to it when I first heard it and became a huge fan in the process..Bhole Chale is also very nice.

Yep, I understand all the words....My Hindi is still pretty rusty, but I can understand it. It has been about 30 years since I was fluent, and I haven't been practicing... unfortunately though, most of my favourite Shiv-ji bhajans are in Tamil, but they contain enough Sanskrit for me to understand what they are singing about..
https://youtu.be/Xm9kjceWeEc

If you ever get the opportunity to watch Naan Kadavul starring Arya...It is amazing! I watched it with English subtitles, but they also sub it in Hindi...

I also really liked that last one you showed me as well, have it on my iPod..but it's not one I regularly listen to.

At the moment, I'm listening to a Tamil one, but Hindi and English is mixed into it...It is growing on me..

https://youtu.be/G5iTugfFvP4

I also didn't realise that the music and lyrics for Shiv Ratan Dhan Payo was based on a popular Hindi pop song...there we go....I just like it a lot.

See, this is stuff we can talk about that makes me very happy... instead of all the teachings and problems and philosophy stuff.

I am also a walking goldmine of Indian culture, myth and tales from long ago... interspersed with popular bhajans and music...see, you have hit a "happy nerve" with me.

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

About the Shiva Tandava Stotram.... many years ago, I tried to learn it. I had learned Lingashtakham by heart, Bilvashtakham, Rudrashtakham, Shiva Panchakshara Stotram and Shiva Kavacham all by heart...I learned Sanskrit, but English was still my first language... I tried to learn Shiva Tandava Stotram, couldn't get past the fifth verse...It was too hard, and required the utmost control of breath to sing it.

Good to hear that you memorized all of those !
I'll take a look at them.
I am also currently trying to memorize Shiva Tandav Strotam ,it is a bit easier for me because Hindi is my native language plus I know a bit of Sanskrit.

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I then learned that it was composed by Ravana...One Day, Ravana decided to test his immense strength, so he went to Shivaloka to lift up Mt Kailasha...He succeeded and Parvati started to panic...Lord Shiva started laughing, and increased His weight massively... pushing Ravana down way under the Earth...Ravana dug back up to the surface, his heart became filled with Bhakti bhav for Lord Shiva, and he composed the Shiva Tandava Stotram on the spot! So, I took my hat off to Ravana, in composing this bhajan that I couldn't even sing!
https://youtu.be/YsWtpDwoVxw

I have heard this story before.Ravana was arguably one of the greatest supreme devotee of Shiv ji ,but he fell from his throne and attainments because he chose the path of adharma.

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

As for Bam Lehri by Kailash Kher...I LOVE IT!

I spent a week solid listening to it when I first heard it and became a huge fan in the process..Bhole Chale is also very nice.

I love Bam Lehri too,and after your suggestion I started to listen and like Bhole chale too.

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

If you ever get the opportunity to watch Naan Kadavul starring Arya...It is amazing! I watched it with English subtitles, but they also sub it in Hindi...

Sure.I will see it as soon as I have the time to...

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

See, this is stuff we can talk about that makes me very happy... instead of all the teachings and problems and philosophy stuff.

I am also a walking goldmine of Indian culture, myth and tales from long ago... interspersed with popular bhajans and music...see, you have hit a "happy nerve" with me.

If it makes you happy then feel free to talk with me about such topics as much as you want to .I am used to digging deep in such topics because just like you my other friend (the one I told you about earlier) also relates and recites to me such stories ,myths ,legends and bhajans frequently,so I have a good appetite for such things.Discussing about practical ways to be successful and practical advanced spirituality also makes me happy.


Anyway ,I will be going offline for a week or two soon.I have a request to you ,1. Should I ask that one question now(for Shiv ji) before I go offline ?
And I prefer to do it via PM,if possible,because it is Babaji's will to not be known anywhere publicly so if we attempt it that way our attempts will fail because Babaji's will is attenuated to higher(god's) will.
Please let me know.

Btw,how is your spirits troubling you problem going ?
and ,how are your health issues now ? I sincerely hope that you got better than before.

Have a great day !

P.S. If you want to talk to me more about Indian bhajans ,myths and legends then feel free.

2.I have another request .What do you know about Hermes Trismegistus ?
What resources should I follow to learn more about him ?

[captainamerica]

Please do reply to the above message if you have the time to do so.

Before you had 7,230 + posts and now it is showing only 7,219 ... how did you delete the rest ? Maybe it is a bug...

Meanwhile I came across a beautiful story about a aghori sadhu on a book that I was reading ... I am typing it up and will send it to you when it is done.

I also recommend that you check out these two books by Tara Springett so that you can do the "homework":

https://www.amazon.com/Five-Minute-M...dp/157863458X/

https://www.amazon.com/Enlightenment...dp/1506067611/

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

Good to hear that you memorized all of those !
I'll take a look at them.
I am also currently trying to memorize Shiva Tandav Strotam ,it is a bit easier for me because Hindi is my native language plus I know a bit of Sanskrit.



I have heard this story before.Ravana was arguably one of the greatest supreme devotee of Shiv ji ,but he fell from his throne and attainments because he chose the path of adharma.



I love Bam Lehri too,and after your suggestion I started to listen and like Bhole chale too.



Sure.I will see it as soon as I have the time to...



If it makes you happy then feel free to talk with me about such topics as much as you want to .I am used to digging deep in such topics because just like you my other friend (the one I told you about earlier) also relates and recites to me such stories ,myths ,legends and bhajans frequently,so I have a good appetite for such things.Discussing about practical ways to be successful and practical advanced spirituality also makes me happy.


Anyway ,I will be going offline for a week or two soon.I have a request to you ,1. Should I ask that one question now(for Shiv ji) before I go offline ?
And I prefer to do it via PM,if possible,because it is Babaji's will to not be known anywhere publicly so if we attempt it that way our attempts will fail because Babaji's will is attenuated to higher(god's) will.
Please let me know.

Btw,how is your spirits troubling you problem going ?
and ,how are your health issues now ? I sincerely hope that you got better than before.

Have a great day !

P.S. If you want to talk to me more about Indian bhajans ,myths and legends then feel free.

2.I have another request .What do you know about Hermes Trismegistus ?
What resources should I follow to learn more about him ?

Sorry that it took a while for me to get back to you.

I can't get any more information on Babaji from Shiv-ji, except that even if He told you where he was currently, your wouldn't be able to afford to travel there...and by the time you can afford it, he would have moved from there.

He also says that you have a lot of work to do on yourself spiritually before you are pure enough and can understand these things.

He also reiterated that Babaji is not a "physical being" like you and I.....of course he can adopt a physical appearance so that people can see him, but that is only when he chooses to do so and even trying to pinpoint the location of an Astral Being in the physical realm is very difficult...even for a God.

As for Hermes Trismegistus, you can try reading his source material, which are the Emerald Tablets of Thoth...
http://www.crystalinks.com/emerald.html

Now, my birth name is Dianne... Shivani is my Balinese name...Well, it is actually Ciwani Dewi.

There is something you asked of me before, and I will answer your questions as they present themselves to me...and one at a time, but the answer can appear anywhere...not necessarily where you asked it.
https://youtu.be/We5nonxAKMM

My channel is just Dianne Morris...you will find a few ghost box sessions on there, but not many. I gave up talking to them because it was getting me nowhere.

My health is okay, but I need to go on a fast...I feel so bloated up and I have tummy pain...I think I am having a wheat allergy...I also need to drink more fesh juice and take some Churna..

I am glad we talked about popular Indian culture...I may be a white girl outside, but I am a Hindu...A full on follower of Santana Dharma...not just a devotee of Shiv-ji.

You take care for the fortnight you will be offline and I'll talk to you when you return.

Aum Batuk Bhairavaye Namah