How would you feel?

Originally Posted by Starbuck

Thanks all for helping me see my feelings about this aren't unreasonable.

Feelings are never unreasonable. Illogical, demanding, difficult to interpret, but not unreasonable, because there is always a reason behind them. Thus they cannot be un-reason-able.

Feelings are your truth, they are your soul's way of saying "I want/don't want this experience". Listen to your feelings, but always seek perfect honesty with yourself as to the source of them. This situation was an opportunity drawn to you by your highest self. It was no coincidence that he sent the text to you; you drew it to you to create the opportunity for you to learn about your insecurities, air them out, and make your relationship with him stronger for it.

In other words, this was a good thing

CS

[Emmalevine]

Thank you. I agree with your above post Curious Snowflake - and funnily enough, on hindsight, a dream I had the night before I read the text was clearly predicting a difficulty with my bf, but also hinting at its resolution. It was not clear enough to be obvious at the time, but looking back I can now understand the symbols it used especially on researching what they meant. That gives me some comfort too, because I believe this was meant to happen so I would be able to work through it with him. I had a very controlling ex, plus an abusive childhood, so expression of feelings is still difficult for me, as is learning to trust them. Thanks for validating them here.

Meh, fugedaboudit. And in truth, I didn't "validate" your feelings, your experience did that. All I did was make you feel a little less nuts.

CS

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Arawn

I'd ask him to try and refrain from using endearments such as "lovely Jenny" to other females because I feel endearments like that are meant entirely for the person that you're involved with.

I'd talk to him about this and about how it feels for you to see texts like that and to know that he says things that could be taken as flirting, even if he doesn't mean for the texts to be seen as flirting. Some people who received signals that seem to be flirting in nature may act on that even if the person who gave the signals is in a committed relationship.

Talking about it is something that can be beneficial and I've personally talked with my fiancé about similar things. We even met online and now live together so I understand a bit of the insecurity that may come from seeing texts like that.

I second all of the above. Wise advice indeed.
Peace,
7L

Hi Starbuck,

I've actually been there and i know how it feels. My ex stayed in touch with his ex as a friend who he knew still wanted him back. He used to show me her messages :(

It hurts!! I'm glad it's all been sorted for you now though!!

Blessings to you x