Rotting roof, fake penis and brother dream

[Ladyrose92]

I was in a three story house and I went up to the roof area and I open the two windows, I'm sitting there looking out the window. I could see the roof from outside as if I was someone else looking at the scene, I could see the roof was all rotting compare to the other roofs. Me and my partner were getting close in the bedroom for some reason we had a big clear rubber penis we were oiling it up and using it as if we were having sex normally. Then my brother came in the room and I was telling him to stop being nosy because he was trying to see what I was hiding. I told him I didn't want to share a room any more because he was not listening to me I told him to go away. He did and I just remember lying there on the floor and reflecting on life. I felt a vague animosity about life.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

the "rotting roof" seems an indication that your (artificial) ceiling is fading
away... you're becoming unlimited in the spiritual direction.
the sexual scene seems to involve gameplay and it may not be in alignment
with your higher self aspirations to produce offspring at this time, hence you're
just playing at it.
:/

[Ladyrose92]

Interesting, some parts of myself came into clearer view yesterday, I realised I had been kidding myself in some ways, so I am glad to see the roof shows this change. As to the sexual scene, that makes sense, it seemed weird but I see how if that's not what is meant for me at this time, despite my wanting, then it's not gonna happen. I asked my higher self what I need to do, and that was further my education, my degree hasn't got me far, but I know a masters will propell me forward, I just need to make the right choice. Thanks for your interpretation it really helps me!

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Ladyrose92: I just need to make the right choice

my feeling is that it's not an intellectual process to make the 'right choices'.
reflect, and allow the "vague animosity" to be truly informative for you...
what aspect of yourself holds that feeling, and what precisely is it aimed at?
understanding those things ought to aid you in choosing according to your
own best interests.

[Ladyrose92]

Ok I see what you mean. The vague animosity was from feeling like the world is unfair, that no matter what good I try to do, I always seem to get stung in some way. It feels like the vulnerable me wants to stand up and fight, it wants to protect those who can't protect themselves, stand up for people who are screwed over in this world by those very few at the top or those that hold authority. My degree dissertation was about who is in power and how they influence people/society/world. I feel a good way to progress is to start looking at how people can take back their power and how the world can become a more peaceful and kind place. I see as well that in the dream my brother wanting to see what I was hiding could be seen as me hiding my desire of a baby from my higher self lol I don't want my higher self to go away so I will pay attention to this. So from reflecting on this something to do with people's rights and the world being just would be a good place to start. Thanks again HORACE! I may not have figured that out myself in time, as my mind thinks about so many things, but as you say, focusing on the feeling and that part of me is a good start, I've been so ill from a viral infection I felt God was wanting to slow me down so i see what I need to see and this is what I've been asking about, so thank you again.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by Ladyrose92

Ok I see what you mean. The vague animosity was from feeling like the world is unfair, that no matter what good I try to do, I always seem to get stung in some way. It feels like the vulnerable me wants to stand up and fight, it wants to protect those who can't protect themselves, stand up for people who are screwed over in this world by those very few at the top or those that hold authority. My degree dissertation was about who is in power and how they influence people/society/world. I feel a good way to progress is to start looking at how people can take back their power and how the world can become a more peaceful and kind place. I see as well that in the dream my brother wanting to see what I was hiding could be seen as me hiding my desire of a baby from my higher self lol I don't want my higher self to go away so I will pay attention to this. So from reflecting on this something to do with people's rights and the world being just would be a good place to start. Thanks again HORACE! I may not have figured that out myself in time, as my mind thinks about so many things, but as you say, focusing on the feeling and that part of me is a good start, I've been so ill from a viral infection I felt God was wanting to slow me down so i see what I need to see and this is what I've been asking about, so thank you again.

some of what you relate here is a continuation of that other dream scene of
yours, where you'd been disturbed by suspiciously behaving male energies.
there you'd adopted an aggressive response and 'fought back', which didn't
seem fitting in my opinion -- you'd become like the oppressive energy rather
than transcend it into something greater. as i'm seeing things, the situation
of that dream was acting as a catalyst to inspire you to find your own power
from within. the truth of things (as i understand them) is that the female
energy is the prime creative force; it [gently] opens the space in which the
male energies can [forcefully] find expression.

the notion of hiding (something) from your higher self is an instinct to cause
self-defeat. it would be to act against your own best interests. i don't see
how the higher self could decide to "go away", but it's possible to decide
against being consciously aware of one's own intentions.

my sense of things is that gods love is solely supportive and never used to
manipulate anything. people steer their own course. in my estimation, your
sense of god as being a cause for your illness was a projection of your own
power onto some other source. i'm hopeful and confident that you can recover
fully from that infection, by your own resources.