Differences....we are the same but not the same

I have posted once before wanting guidance as to whether I had met my TF.

I didn't really receive much advice but it really doesn't matter now, not after the weekend I have just had. I just want to share my story, and hopefully it may help someone else make some sort of sense of the craziness and the emotional irrationality that I am going through and hopefully may resonate with someone else.

We have discussed only 2 things, that we are the same and that we have lived previous lives together. Other random things have come up from time to time but we keep these 'signs' to ourselves.

This past weekend, we were at an event (separately). I was a visitor and he was working. I walk over to say hello, and he had some family members there also. He introduced me as , this is my, my, my, my...and couldn't finish the sentence (cute and funny).

Anyway I would pop in and say hi throughout the day and while he was flat out he was amazing. He 'released' some interesting info when I introduced him to my girlfriend (another kindred spirit) to whom he immediately liked (never doubted it!). The info he fessed up to told me that he had also been researching a few things...(it was getting interesting. As THIS was the weekend I was going to talk and 'swap' stories about experiencing the 'signs of a TF). The mood was amazing and I was on a high, however all that was about to change. On this particular occasion I popped in, he let me know another mutual friend had also turned up to the event.

Oh My God! With me it was instantaneous. My mood changed from being quite up to a completely irrational, mental, jealous idiot (all of which I kept hidden inside). I have had these 'feelings' that something was happening between them. I had experienced this a few times before (then rationalised and got over it). I went about my business, feeling an inner rage, although I would NEVER let him know this (b/c I was being stupid...and I knew it but just couldn't STOP).

I popped in again and was not as friendly as before but not horrible or obvious that's for sure. Then popped in again to say we were heading off. At this stage I had CONVINCED myself they were going to hook up after the event. All I said was "We're heading off now. Have a lovely evening". and left. As I was walking away he yells over the top of his 4 deep customers, "Fibonacci" and I turn and say "are you serious!" (with a tone I may add). He knew I was 'running' and had to try something to get me back. I go back in and say "have you been seeing number sequences to?" (It is no secret that I had been waking up all through the night seeing different sequences on the clock, yet he never said anything at the time). He said he had been waking up to the same numbers and it was driving him nuts. I just replied that we need to swap notes over coffee and then I left. I returned 30 seconds later and asked what were the numbers had been seeing and when was he seeing them. I was a bit forthright but he answered and as I turned to go and he said "I dont know what it means" to which I replied "I do" then finally left.

None of that is the weird part.

The next day I was still wary but much less mental. When I finally went to say Hi, he was soooooo cold and sharp and dare I say, even a bit sarcastic. It was at THAT moment I knew. I knew he was peeved off with me assuming the worst when NOTHING was going on, and he was so so hurt that I did not trust him. And it was at THAT moment that I did completely trust him and felt like absolute poo. I still popped in throughout the day and he softened but was still angry and hurt.

So I have been pondering, and here's the thing.....HIS reaction to ME was way over the top in relation to the day before UNLESS he knew what was going on inside my freaking head. I now realise, while I have the very real ability to FEEL how he is feeling (peeves me off b/c I am often in a great mood and take one look at him and it instantly changes b/c of the way he is feeling, which peeves me off even more b/c I don't WANT to be peeved off, so I resent him for it, until I work at him throughout the day and he becomes happy again. Only to start the whole routine the next day-he's bloody hard work), so I can FEEL his emotions and he can READ MY MIND. Oh bugger! Would have preferred it the other way around.

So now I am all 'well what the hell', if he can, and HAS been reading my mind (as things started falling into place in a very real way) I realise all things he now knows, and while he may not have yet heard of TF's, he knows this is much bigger than the both of us, and knows much more (is more awakened) than I had thought. Oh bugger. Not fair.

So even though I now know what he knows that he knows about me, although he doesn't know that I know it, (or might b/c he can read my mind..oh bugger), I knew that he wouldn't hate me forever and would have to be nice to me again. Sure enough, I got a phone call today and he was himself again (avoiding talking about it - or the crazy apology email I sent to him from the car park as I left the event-honestly any normal person would have run a mile after reading it).

I am now really looking forward to talking about this 'stuff' with him when he gets back and comparing notes. I think it is going to be a blast! As long as he doesn't then ask the question. "What do we do now?"

[able12]

You can't hide your inner rage from him.
He is reflecting it back to you.
Typically, these connections, as beautiful and enlightening as they are, set off triggers and bring up behaviors, responses, fears doubts, shame that can be difficult to confront. That is one of the reasons so many people run. Who needs it, you know? I sure didn't like the feeling of being exposed. The one saving grace is, if it is a true connection, the love is unconditional and that is truly a gift. The love is greater than the human failing.

Able12 is right. It's total mirroring. If he is your TS, and sounds like he could very well be, then he can read everything about you. He does not try to do this. Soul works through him so you can hide nothing from him. They allow us to purge our inner poo. Don't lie to him, ever. And, lol, when you feel negative emotions expect that he will mirror those back to you so you can see them clearly. You are then unable to escape the things inside of you that you need to heal and purge, that is unless you want the back and forth mirroring to continue. And Able12 is also right in that the love is unconditional. It is created that way. I am finding out that my TS, if I am genuine and honest with him, judges me badly for nothing. It's amazing. And all the times when he tells me I am wonderful, he's mirroring my truth back as well. It's a magical experience to be cherished. TRUST him. I am told often, "Trust him." Doubt is deadly in these unions.

I had inner rage BAD and hid it perfectly in the 3D from my TS. He, in "real life," had no idea what I was struggling with because I kept all my messages normal, yet the hatred and vices I'd allowed myself to fall prey to were just fuming inside me. And from 2100 miles away he "read" me and shook me "clear" through some shocking email. It is something I never want you to have to experience {unless you need to, like I did} so please believe in the mirroring. It is absolutely 100% true.

And have fun, lol. Have faith! Best wishes.

Originally Posted by lagatha

I have posted once before wanting guidance as to whether I had met my TF.

I didn't really receive much advice but it really doesn't matter now, not after the weekend I have just had. I just want to share my story, and hopefully it may help someone else make some sort of sense of the craziness and the emotional irrationality that I am going through and hopefully may resonate with someone else.

We have discussed only 2 things, that we are the same and that we have lived previous lives together. Other random things have come up from time to time but we keep these 'signs' to ourselves.

This past weekend, we were at an event (separately). I was a visitor and he was working. I walk over to say hello, and he had some family members there also. He introduced me as , this is my, my, my, my...and couldn't finish the sentence (cute and funny).

Anyway I would pop in and say hi throughout the day and while he was flat out he was amazing. He 'released' some interesting info when I introduced him to my girlfriend (another kindred spirit) to whom he immediately liked (never doubted it!). The info he fessed up to told me that he had also been researching a few things...(it was getting interesting. As THIS was the weekend I was going to talk and 'swap' stories about experiencing the 'signs of a TF). The mood was amazing and I was on a high, however all that was about to change. On this particular occasion I popped in, he let me know another mutual friend had also turned up to the event.

Oh My God! With me it was instantaneous. My mood changed from being quite up to a completely irrational, mental, jealous idiot (all of which I kept hidden inside). I have had these 'feelings' that something was happening between them. I had experienced this a few times before (then rationalised and got over it). I went about my business, feeling an inner rage, although I would NEVER let him know this (b/c I was being stupid...and I knew it but just couldn't STOP).

I popped in again and was not as friendly as before but not horrible or obvious that's for sure. Then popped in again to say we were heading off. At this stage I had CONVINCED myself they were going to hook up after the event. All I said was "We're heading off now. Have a lovely evening". and left. As I was walking away he yells over the top of his 4 deep customers, "Fibonacci" and I turn and say "are you serious!" (with a tone I may add). He knew I was 'running' and had to try something to get me back. I go back in and say "have you been seeing number sequences to?" (It is no secret that I had been waking up all through the night seeing different sequences on the clock, yet he never said anything at the time). He said he had been waking up to the same numbers and it was driving him nuts. I just replied that we need to swap notes over coffee and then I left. I returned 30 seconds later and asked what were the numbers had been seeing and when was he seeing them. I was a bit forthright but he answered and as I turned to go and he said "I dont know what it means" to which I replied "I do" then finally left.

None of that is the weird part.

The next day I was still wary but much less mental. When I finally went to say Hi, he was soooooo cold and sharp and dare I say, even a bit sarcastic. It was at THAT moment I knew. I knew he was peeved off with me assuming the worst when NOTHING was going on, and he was so so hurt that I did not trust him. And it was at THAT moment that I did completely trust him and felt like absolute poo. I still popped in throughout the day and he softened but was still angry and hurt.

So I have been pondering, and here's the thing.....HIS reaction to ME was way over the top in relation to the day before UNLESS he knew what was going on inside my freaking head. I now realise, while I have the very real ability to FEEL how he is feeling (peeves me off b/c I am often in a great mood and take one look at him and it instantly changes b/c of the way he is feeling, which peeves me off even more b/c I don't WANT to be peeved off, so I resent him for it, until I work at him throughout the day and he becomes happy again. Only to start the whole routine the next day-he's bloody hard work), so I can FEEL his emotions and he can READ MY MIND. Oh bugger! Would have preferred it the other way around.

So now I am all 'well what the hell', if he can, and HAS been reading my mind (as things started falling into place in a very real way) I realise all things he now knows, and while he may not have yet heard of TF's, he knows this is much bigger than the both of us, and knows much more (is more awakened) than I had thought. Oh bugger. Not fair.

So even though I now know what he knows that he knows about me, although he doesn't know that I know it, (or might b/c he can read my mind..oh bugger), I knew that he wouldn't hate me forever and would have to be nice to me again. Sure enough, I got a phone call today and he was himself again (avoiding talking about it - or the crazy apology email I sent to him from the car park as I left the event-honestly any normal person would have run a mile after reading it).

I am now really looking forward to talking about this 'stuff' with him when he gets back and comparing notes. I think it is going to be a blast! As long as he doesn't then ask the question. "What do we do now?"

The mirroring has begun some time ago and it is horrendous at times. Add to that the 'fear' of letting go and being purged also doesn't help. I know I have to do it (regardless of the TF thing) but living in denial is 'safe' and you don't have to 'feel'. It is a long road back for me, not so much for him.

Not so long ago, when I was having a bad day (for no apparent reason), I would go home and hope that I wouldn't wake up the next day. I wasn't suicidal, just didn't want to wake up and 'deal' anymore. The next day he would come up to me straight away and just talk and then say "if anything ever happened to you..." and I am like, "how does he know how I was feeling yesterday?"

It is so much easier for me when we are apart, I get some clarity and emotional stability back, which highlights how much purging I actually need to do I guess.

I have to say that now I have accepted the truth of the situation I think I will be able to manage things a lot better. I have never lied to him (I am a truth teller to all anyway) but just haven't really 'talked'.

I know that over the past few days (since Sunday) he has had a major awakening and is really struggling with it, so much so that he is ill. I know he is now pondering and fearful also but he will get through it like he always does as he is the better person. He has much more at stake here than I do, as he is in a relationship which was traveling along fine (part of his life plan) until he met me. I think he is only now putting two and two together. What he does not realise yet is that he doesn't HAVE to make any choice right now. Whatever will happen will happen in its own time, as it was meant to be. Wish I could tell him that. I will have to settle with 'thinking' it to him in the meantime.