Limerance?...Not so much.

[InfiniteFlight]

Originally Posted by Katastrophic

So I actually posted this as a reply to someone else's thread, but I feel this actually deserves its own. I actually came here for some support and guidance to navigate this whole Twin Flame experience about 6 months ago, as I'm sure many of you are here for the same reasons! Ever since I joined I've read some interesting things on here...to say the least. There's actually a massive post on a twin flame forum about NOT believing in twin flames (lol?), which then lead to major discussion of limerance and the relationship of that word to twin flames.

So this is literally the definition of limerance- "the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.

I'm not infatuated, or obsessed, I don't have involuntary feelings and I definitely do not have a desire for reciprocation. Every single word of the definition of limerance is the opposite of the Twin experience for me, sorry. I think the real issue here is so many people get the twin flame notion stuck in their minds and slap the title onto their relationships which are not at all Twin anything. They're relationships where one partner has checked out and the partner that can't let go labels them them to be the runner and sits around and waits for someone who's never coming back. Then those on here who claim to have "multiple twin flame experiences"...have you maybe just considered that you are just an intense person? Not in a bad way or anything of course, but maybe you just feel things more intensely than others do and that's what causes you to get so caught up in these feelings and become so emotionally invested.

I read so many crazy things, not only on this forum but on others as well, about how people's "twin flames"' treat them like complete and utter garbage, and they actually sit around and take it! They actually think that this person is the other half of their soul and they make excuse after excuse about why their "twin" ignores them and wants NOTHING to do with them but yet deep down they just "know" this is love. I'm sorry, but that's limerance. That's the obsessive, craving "love" that you're referring to. Twin Soul love is something so different, so happy. It's the purest, most giving love you can have for someone and you expect nothing..NOTHING in return. You don't stalk their social media. You don't beg or plead for them to see your side of things or try to convince them you love them. You don't hate on their significant other and try to talk them out of a relationship. You don't walk around everyday in a sad depressed fog because you and this person aren't together. You're actually quite elated and happy most of the time, your life actually get better. Things start to make sense to you. You fall in love with the world around you and you become a better person for it. You see all the awesome signs and synchs to literally show you that you are on the right path. It's the most beautiful experience and you thank your lucky stars everyday. You wouldn't do any of these crazy, obsessive things if you had met your twin, for that's not what any of this is about. Is it rainbows and butterflies all the time? F no! But it DEFINITELY isn't obsession, possession, jealousy, or anger. Which is what I read here more than 75% of the time.

I honestly hope this doesn't offend anybody, because that's not the purpose of this. Everyone has their own journey. I really just feel like this needed to be said. Nobody deserves to be treated like garbage and honestly, I feel like that's what I read here more often than not. If you're being treated like you aren't the beautiful person that you truly are, this person isn't your twin. You ARE worth it, and your true twin flame will show you that!

Oh my goodness, I have actually been thinking this for a long time! Like you, I came here specifically for the purpose of comradery in the twin soul experience. I had an event occur in my life which seem to point towards who my twin may be. (I didn't know the term before this happened and the term "twin soul" was actually told to me in a meditation when I was trying to find answers... I Googled... and I came here). And while there are some nice stories on here of having open heart chakras, I notice a LOT of posts where people are just venting and spouting "woe is me" because they haven't found TF yet or their "TF" doesn't love them. This mindset seemed opposite of how one would actually feel/think/behave if they had met their TF or were working on healing themselves in order to promote union. (And even, you could make the case that one shouldn't really even "seek" it at all, because this could lead to unstable patterns of pining after destructive people or depending on others instead of healing oneself... but I digress).

Even though I don't know where this person lives or if I will ever meet him again, I'm not full of anger or self-depreciating woe. I may never reach union with him in this life. But I'm full of unconditional love for this person and this world despite it all. It's not about what you could "get out of it" or how this other person could somehow "fix" you. No one can fix you. Not even TF. All a TF does is hold up a mirror to all the shadowy parts of yourself that you haven't addressed yet. It's still up to each of us to seek inner peace and healing on our own. So I don't understand why people on here seem so caught up in wasting energy by fueling anger or this idea that they are owed something. No one is owed anything. In fact, feeling this way is a pretty clear indication that you have some unresolved blockages/wounds/karmic debt that needs to be addressed and cleared out. To people that are experiencing this, I do very much lovingly suggest meeting with an energy healer, reiki specialist, shamanic practitioner, or other type of energy-clearing light worker for help! (I've seen one before and plan on doing much more in the future! I know I can always stand to improve on own energies/thoughts/karmas as well. Meditation helps me too.)

Anyway, I just wanna say thanks for your post. This section seems to have been derailed a bit lately, but it's nice to see someone who is willing to say "hey guys
.. what about the love???"

[ssdm1]

I'm sure the person who has returned to my life after decades apart is my twin flame. Our friendship (and once romantic relationship) spans 30 years and has been very unusual at times. No matter how many times or for how long we've gone our separate ways he always comes back to me. I know this person has my back no matter what and I feel safe and secure. I see how what each of us has gone through in our respective lives has brought us to the point we are at today. I see that this person has returned to my life at this particular time because we each need something from the other at this point in time. It's almost as if both of us were in "training" to learn things that we need today. While I don't think we will ever reignite the romance, I do think that through both working for charity, we can make the world a better place.

With limerance I don't think you see the syncs (although you could "look" for them and make something fit). This person and I have too many odd coincidences happen for those not to be syncs. Also the telepathy is undeniable.

[Kalika]

At the crux of my limerence was facing my fears, desires and attachments (all psychological) and recognizing the difference between conditional and unconditional love. The aha moment came when I dropped using a defense mechanism (denial) and faced the intergenerational emotional abuse in the guise of conditional love. Of course it's not my family's fault given the hidden nature of it (intergenerational - being spoon fed on what was known as healthy love, and no one being the wiser). Until. I met my twin and felt a different kind of love. An obessive intense spiritual pull with no explanation for it. At first I continually fought the pull.

Oh there were things that happened, physical things :) Heartfelt words shared. Fireworks. The lot.

But still. The unexplainable obessive intense pull remained even though we could not be together due to circumstances.

So when I faced my attachment to my twin, the attachment to the fireworks, the attachment to the pull, I could see for the first time the kind of attachment issues I carried within. When I dropped the denial I saw how I played a part in the dysfunctional relationship between twin and myself. How my own family background played a part. I loved my twin conditionally because I was attached.

This was how I worked through limerence and was able to alter my behavior as well as beliefs. Mental health declines when we are spiritually not in alignment.

I now know what it means to love unconditionally and that is why I have released all expectations. As a result the pain was replaced with peace. I am unbelievably grateful for this devine intervention, because I can love others as I do my twin, unconditionally with no demands.

May you all find peace.