Do we forget about those left behind.

[Adrienne]

Hello Neville

somehow I just can't imagine, even with all that Summerland may have to offer... that someone wouldn't remember a love from this life

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Neville

How do you remember,? With love and affection ? If so you did answer my question...sort it out man

My enemies are just as memorable. Who can forget the ones they fought off?

Friends are freely given emotional investment, and it usually pays off, like they say, 'I get by with a little help from my friends'.

I guess people become a bit of a part of each other, once they get to know each other, for better or for worse...

Originally Posted by Neville

I only ask because in this life there are those who I never wish to stop loving and it pains me to think that may have to in order for creation to continue it's recycling.

I believe our soulmates are w/us throughout eternity ...
We incarnate w/them in each new life ...
With that said, I have never stopped loving my late husband or said good-bye nor did he during an ADC at the time of his death ...
During the ADC, I was overwhelmed w/of peace, joy & giddiness to the point of giggling unexplicably ...
I heard him telepathically say he loved me & the kids, it was a car accident & a few other things, but not good-bye ...
To this day, I always tell him I love him & I'll see you when I get there ...

As for saying good-bye to others, some choose not to ...
My widowed friends who were caretakers each said their spouse died as they were doing something away from them: stepping into the bathroom, leaving the room to inquire about tests, meds, etc; going to get a meal or leaving for home to shower & change clothes or get some sleep ...
Whether they were actively dying in hospice or at home, each spouse choose not to say good-bye - they simply left ...
My husband was killed 3 miles from home around midnight when I should've been asleep ...
I saw the lights from emergency vehicles on the freeway, but I didn't know it had anything to do w/him nor was I aware of it during the ADC ...
The last thing he said was to go to bed b/c I had a big day ahead ...
The police informed me of his death the following day b/c he had his old out of state driver's license on him; his boss had to fly into to town to identify him ... Whew!
He still sends signs 7 yrs later, our dog can detect him as well as our new puppies. I've watched as all 3 stare for minutes in the same direction happily wagging their tails at what seems to be nothing ...
My adult kids tell me of signs & random things happening to them; they believe its their Dad & I do also ...
Sometimes, we receive similar signs on the same day as we're apart ...
One Sunday evening as I was cooking family dinner to celebrate his B-day, each kiddo walked in the door excited to tell me about the sign they received from Dad earlier in the day; a KC bumper sticker, picture of Joe Montana, a person wearing a KC jacket, cap or T-shirt ...
In the SW states, the popular football teams are the Arizona Cardinals, Dallas Cowboys & Denver Broncos not the Kansas City Chefs - oops, I mean KC Chiefs ...
Rarely, does one see anything pertaining to them in these parts ...
All in one day was pret-ty amazing ...

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross proposed the now famous "Five Stages of Grief" in her 1969 book titled "On Death & Dying" ...
The 5 stage grief process is organic - truly a God send ...
It prepares a person to cope w/their impending death to depart peacefully as well as comfortably leave their loved ones to complete their life ...
During this process, I believe they are made aware they will have the ability to see &/or be w/their family & friends in spirit ...
This model is also used for the survivors of the deceased ...
Strangely enough, we lived in Escondido, CA at the same time as Elizabeth when my husband was followed home by a drunk man w/road rage ...


Anyway, I sharply took notice of changes in my husband ...
His behavior triggered my instincts (sometimes in the pit of my stomach) as well as my brain trying to make a connection to decades old stored information on her research ...
I was able to identify all 5 stages in the year leading up to his death by researching her work again ...
However, I'm certain his grief process was different in some respects from someone actively dying & aware of it ...
I believe he knew something very important would happen to him in the near future, but I don't think he knew it would be his death ...
On the last day of his life his friends all said he was remarkably happy ...
The last person he was with told him he was the happiest man in the world, he had a loving wife, wonderful kids, his career/earnings were booming, 49 healthy years old & he couldn't ask for anything more ...
I still smile when I recall his friend telling me he said all these loving words while he walking around on his hands to prove he was still young ...
My beloved was most definitely at peace ...
Rest assured you will be too ...

[Belle]

Neville I believe there are stages for our loved ones to go through when they leave us. There is a stage when they remain close to their body initially, as that is familiar to them, then they pass over to a place of total healing - where they will be transformed to a position of absolute and unconditional love.

There they remain, but visit us from time to time to remind us that they are still with us, or when we need extra help they bring us support and solidarity.

My gran died 40 years ago when I was - er very young. She still visits me, even tho the relationship was not huge - me being so young and her old and frail, but there is something she is trying to convey to me.

A relationship between two people where there is love remains but it changes significantly. That adjustment can be very very difficult - I find my father's spirit presence intensely difficult as I miss him very much - I miss his physical presence. Quite simply, I am still grieving for him some 18months on when I expected to have come to terms with his passing. I'm sensitive enough to know he's around me, I'm not sensitive enough to know what he's trying to say. Perhaps I don't need to know.

Neville, you will always have your loved ones with you and when you pass (may that day be a long long time away), you will be there for your children and grandchildren, supporting them and encouraging them and still loving them but with an absoluteness of unconditionality.

[Squatchit]

An interesting and very timely question for me, Neville. I'm just about to type a dream in Scribbles that I had last night. I will also copy/paste it in here as it had me pondering similar thoughts this morning.

[Squatchit]

(Andy was a very good friend who suddenly and unexpectedly died about 18 months ago. He was only 46.)

There are a group of us in a pub. I'm with Andy. Andy has invited our friends back to continue partying and then realises we haven't got any provisions at home. We decide to nip out to the local late-night shop to stock up.

We are standing by the road waiting to cross. Two cars are coming one way and on our side, another single car is approaching. I pull him back from crossing. I can see the lights from the late-night shop across the road and further down.

Then it all changes. Without me being aware of it happening (as these things do in dreams).

We are now walking down a wide dirt-track together hand-in-hand. It's very quiet and we are no longer in a town. I gently become lucid and remain calm so I can spend some time with Andy. I'm well-aware he's dead and that I'm dreaming. I'm also very careful with my words, given that his death wasn't that long ago, and was sudden. I don't want to shock or upset him.

"So how's life these days?" I ask, smiling. And realise I've used a strange word - life.

"Good yeah, things are fine," he replies rather generally. He seems happy enough, comfortable with me and holding hands.

"Anything of note to tell me that's going on in your world?" I ask again, hoping he'll open up a bit.

Just then, a man catches us up and walks past. He greets Andy and they amiably share a joke. They obviously know each other.

"Well, there is a woman I'm quite taken with in my group of friends. Last week, we got a bit closer and I'm hoping things will progress with her," he replies smiling at me.

"That's great!" I reply.

We continue walking for a bit and I look out to my right. The scenery catches my breath. It's like a watercolour painting. The sky has dark clouds blossoming down, edged with pink. The 'town' (and I use that word very loosely) is bright in contrast to the grey sky. It's most unusual and not something I'd see in waking life - unless in a painting.

"Wow, look at that!" I exclaim.

He smiles at me. He's not as enthusiastic - I guess he sees it regularly.

"Sorry," I add, "It's just that I'm not used to being up here."

And then it fades and I awake.

What I found interesting was his lack of curiosity/interest in his old life here on Earth. If I remember correctly, every time I've dreamed of him, it's a similar pattern. Me asking, him answering. Not reluctantly, but rather generally. He's never asked me a question. He shows no interest in my life/world, the business we used to work in together, his family/girlfriend, the boss (a good friend).

Even his lack of reaction at the sky is unusual for Andy. He'd often be filled with joy at scenes of nature back here.

I wonder if this Earthly life and its memories fades somewhat when we die. Given that most of us here don't remember Spirit life, perhaps the same is true the other way round.

I'm reluctant to mention anything 'back here' to him. I'd rather he instigate that conversation, if indeed he chooses to.

Re-reading the conversation, I notice that I'm very general too. For good reason...although maybe if I open up more and give him gentle prods about his old life back here, he'll respond likewise. I dunno. He wasn't particularly happy here and it's good to see he has a group of friends. I guess I'll play it by ear as I don't bump into him that often.

[Michelle11]

The way I understand it is we go through life generally with the same people. We have a core group that we work with having good and bad human relationships. So I think if the bond is to continue afterwards it may depend on if the person is in your core group but if they don't happen to be in your group I would think it would be one of those things where you are now close friends like you made here on earth. If you didn't know them before they will forever be in your heart now. I do think the roles we play on earth are dissolved once we are both passed but the connection with the spirit will endure regardless and our love for each other will actually be stronger than here on earth because it will be unconditional.

[IsleWalker]

I'm really surprised that you ask this Neville. The "rules" of incarnation are different but not that different. And to think that you'd forget love is...strange to me.

In my way of thinking, each person (and "inanimate" thing, like nature) that we interact with is permanently part of our "string" and can always be retraced. If we ever "loved" anyone, even if other things happen to supposedly "break" that bond, I feel we "know" them enough never to lose track of them.

It may be that the love relationships in our physical life are not so immediate (or the only ones) that we regain when we die. So, yes, there will be many others that we suddenly remember from other lives (I believe). But we still care, we still have the ability to "check in on them".

IMO our consciousness has the ability to be split...to infinity, so that we can "be aware" of what our families are doing at the same time as renewing old friendships from a past life, and making new relationships.

To me it would be like a mother or father cares about the drama and struggles in a teenager's life: We may not take it as seriously as they do, but we still love them and care about them.

Lora

Thank you for sharing your understanding and experience livingkarma I appreciate very much your candour

Squatchit

"What I found interesting was his lack of curiosity/interest in his old life here on Earth."

Yes the moving on and not having a care for those we haved left and left behind is the core of my question.

Michelle11,

" I do think the roles we play on earth are dissolved once we are both passed but the connection with the spirit will endure regardless and our love for each other will actually be stronger than here on earth because it will be unconditional."

Thank you for sharing your feelings on this matter. If I might just take a moment to try to better articulate my troubling thought. I am able now to pretty much always able to tell or show the people on Earth that I love, that I love them, cuddles, hugs and the like. Should I not be here anymore , how then do I , who is not here show , demonstrate , the enduring nature of my love for the poor soul here still that laments my passing ? Maybe Something else takes over for me. Spirit perhaps.. I do not know , I am concerned however that those now that I love know that it is not only extant while it's source is. Your posting reassuringly hints that love endures.

Interestingly I note a certain common religion states "Jesus Loves you" well he has been dead quiet a while so if he is capable of loving from beyond the grave, perhaps then we all are.


Lora, I do like your post , and I have not forgotten that Love endures as Love , maternal ,paternal, Anam Cara energy.

I feel the need to be able to comfort anyone who would grieve my passing , though I expect grief to be a part of mourning, I don't want anyone's life being ruined through the fact that I was inconsiderate enough to get old and die.

I am very reassured by the commonly held belief you express here

"It may be that the love relationships in our physical life are not so immediate (or the only ones) that we regain when we die. So, yes, there will be many others that we suddenly remember from other lives (I believe). But we still care, we still have the ability to "check in on them". "

I'd simply put...If I could,If it was at all in my gift , prevent any heart break when my time comes in those I leave behind by firmly placing in them that my Love endures. Might be a Castle in the sky on my part though.

Probably a bit of a phobia I am developing, I don't want to be the cause of misery through committing a natural, dare I say, inevitable act.

[IsleWalker]

Originally Posted by Neville

I'd simply put...If I could,If it was at all in my gift , prevent any heart break when my time comes in those I leave behind by firmly placing in them that my Love endures. Might be a Castle in the sky on my part though.

Probably a bit of a phobia I am developing, I don't want to be the cause of misery through committing a natural, dare I say, inevitable act.

Yes, Jack, but the fact is that that is their response and you don't have control over it. All of us have to struggle through what to do with emotions, especially when they are difficult ones.

And in that there is a lot you can do: Trust that your loved ones will learn/grow in the way they need after you are gone.

Lora