Trying to make sense of it all

So yeah I tried to break it all off and that obviously didn't work. So I'm wondering how to process this. I can't be with her and I can't not be with her and apparently she won't leave me alone. In fact I saw more of her when I tried that than I had done in weeks.

Where do I go from this? Being around her is frustrating for me and not being around her is even more frustrating. I can't live like this for very much longer. How did I even let this happen? I'm usually fine around people but right now I just want to be on my own to think and yet I guess there's no more let to think about. I'm tired of going round and round in circles and I feel like I'm going to explode. If I do that I don't want to take her as collateral damage, she's the last person I'd want to hurt.

[umbridge]

Just surrender..

Connect with your heart. In heart everything is one.
In the mind there are polarities - right and left - masculine and feminine. In heart there is only oneness.

Just meditate. Imagine telling her the same feelings what you feel right now. Or write it out. Express it some way.
Go for a jog. Go for a walk. Let go of the thoughts. Thoughts can cause problems and affect the feelings.

There is peace out there. Try to find it.
There is answer for every question, every problem.
Trust yourself.

Take care.

Thanks but surrendering = explosions = large sticky mess made. :)

[umbridge]

How you gonna do it, if you are not willing to face the mess?

What do you mean by surrendering? I meant letting go of the anxiety and confusion..
Surrender to what it is...

[umbridge]

Yeah "you are trying to make sense all of it"
but I am saying: dont, let go.. surrender..
dont hurt yourself

[able12]

"...and apparently she won't leave me alone..."

Weren't you flipping out when she left you alone?
You need to be honest with yourself. She probably knows you are married. she is probably wondering what do you want from her? A work flirtation to brighten the drudgery of your routine?

[able12]

Originally Posted by umbridge

Just surrender..

Connect with your heart. In heart everything is one.
In the mind there are polarities - right and left - masculine and feminine. In heart there is only oneness.

Just meditate. Imagine telling her the same feelings what you feel right now. Or write it out. Express it some way.
Go for a jog. Go for a walk. Let go of the thoughts. Thoughts can cause problems and affect the feelings.

There is peace out there. Try to find it.
There is answer for every question, every problem.
Trust yourself.

Take care.

His conflict is between the structures of his outer life and the inner spiritual truth. How do we get from here to there? When do the stars finally align?

Originally Posted by able12

"...and apparently she won't leave me alone..."

Weren't you flipping out when she left you alone?
You need to be honest with yourself. She probably knows you are married. she is probably wondering what do you want from her? A work flirtation to brighten the drudgery of your routine?

I get that part of it able really I do, but the fact is I don't have this problem with anyone else. If I'm civil and nice to her she randomly ignores me, she won't treat me as a friend and yet she won't leave me alone she when it's clear that's what I want.

So I ask what does she want?

[able12]

C'mon Oneflame, You know better by now. It is just going to go round and round--this mirroring thing--both of you wondering what is going on and where it is going.. I recall once before you posted about her evasive behavior and many people here could relate to it. It probably isn't any easier for her--this dance. You try to detach, don't you think she does too?
I wish I could just talk to mine in a quiet place--it feels a million miles away, but often I think about treating him the way she treats you. She probably feels you are stringing her along. She is trying to protect herself. That is what I feel--what does he want from me?

[vis-à-vis]

Sounds like you're resisting something which already is, which means you want to change what is, which means it won't change because you can't change what already is. Sorry if I sound Dutch or something, but if you can't let go of what is happening, then do what I do and hang on to it not happening (the opposite of what you really want to happen). Solves a lot of misery and angst when you stop fighting what is happening then allow what ain't happening to happen. Like I said, double dutch and you're kinda messing with your own destiny. It becomes quite enjoyable after a while, making two wrongs a right. The art of manipulating polarities, in the process you stop worrying about their E-V-E-R-Y move and you start focusing on your own life instead, once you see what you can create out of your own mind and focus of attention. Have fun you only live now.