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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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Old 25-12-2019, 06:13 AM
Saturns_Gem Saturns_Gem is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 18
Who does this? On Jesus' Birthday too....:icon_frown:

Yesterday morning I woke up to a text message from my supervisor (we will call her Amy) asking me if I would mind working yesterday and today. She said that the finance manager (we will call her Kelly) was short staffed, everyone was either sick or on vacation and they needed help. Then Amy said her assistant was off for Christmas Eve so she would need me then too. I said I would and went in. Yesterday was just another ordinary day as I figured it would be. Today I was in a great mood. I was genuinely filled with love that I felt towards all my coworkers. Normally I don't feel much towards them one way or another, they're my coworkers. I don't have any issues with anyone there, I like everyone. Amy's assistant and myself had a rocky start but it was resolved quite some time ago and we have been cool with each other ever since.

Anyways I was overcome with love for these people and decided to roll with it. I was engaging and chatty, attempting to pull them as close to wear I was as I possibly could. I was by no means over kill, I was just more upbeat and talkative than I usually am. I am a very quiet person. It is just how I am. I am by no means shy though, if I have something to say I have no problem saying it. I just keep to myself for whatever reason. I am always pleasant with all my coworkers regardless. I'll say my good mornings, good nights. I joke around sometimes and engage in little banter here and there. I am pleasant and respectful & really didn't think there was any real problems. I don't expect everyone to like me or love me or want to get to know me but being considerate towards each other is important. At least I would believe it to be.

The day was going along just fine, we had us some food delivered, I was still in a nice mood, enjoying the day. Towards the end Kelly started passing out gifts. At first I just assumed they were for her the people in department and wasn't really paying attention as it did not seem to concern me. I then saw her give a present to another coworker not in her department. Ok....still really didn't think much of it. She then proceeded to go around to EVERY other department handing out gifts to every other person there. The people that were not in today she left presents on their desks. She walked past my desk several times during this process obviously ignoring me completely. I tried to just shake it off and not let her mean spirited actions get the best of me but I couldn't help it, it hurt my feelings. Just to add more salt to the wound I heard her loud mouth on the phone talking to the boss at one of our other locations when she mentioned that she got Christmas gifts for him as his staff as well as everyone at our other location. She said she was going out there on Friday and then had to go to the other one on Saturday so she would bring them theirs then.

Of course I tried to think of what I could have possibly done to her that made her do that. It was very clear that she did that on purpose with the intent to harm me for whatever reason. I can't think of a single thing I have ever done to her. Certainly nothing to justify such a passive aggressive jab. I dunno, maybe I just rub her the wrong way or something. That doesn't seem to be a reason to be that way though.

Whatever, its not like it is going to affect me that much....I just couldn't believe she actually pulled such a move. She has always been a fake person with a fake personality to match. I have known this since I met her & guess I had just become to used to it. I always had that feeling that she wasn't a huge fan of mine. It never really bothered me before, except for the length time of our interaction when I was aware of her feeling towards me, I never thought about it. It can be somewhat uncomfortable when I need to talk to her and everything about her demeanor tells me that my very presence is just a nuisance to her. But there are times when she will come over and chat with me where she seems to be a sincere person so she's hard to pinpoint. The fact that she doesn't like me isn't much of a surprise, I kind of just assumed it. I didn't really think she was malicious though. I have come across countless people that I personally wouldn't want to spend any length of time with. However I can't imagine ever being spiteful just because they aren't really my cup of tea. Who does that?

I know I shouldn't care about her opinion, and I don't. However the truth is that her actions did hurt. It was just a mean thing to do. I was an easy target for her too. She knows my nature and assumes I am not going to say anything about it. I doubt I will but I can't help but think that this experience was sent to me in order to strengthen me. I'll figure it out...

Anyways I just had to get that out somehow. Thanks for listening. If you have any suggestions on how to handle this then by all means...post away.
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Old 25-12-2019, 08:52 AM
sea-dove sea-dove is offline
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,502
If you have any suggestions on how to handle this then by all means.

Keep reminding yourself that it is not you with the problem but her with a problem. You can't change people, just keep being yourself..
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Old 25-12-2019, 06:37 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Golden Bay, New Zealand
Posts: 1,594
This does seem mean-spirited of Kelly to give out gifts to everyone except you.

You could casually ask her about it in a non-confrontational manner. Something like "I see that you bought gifts for everyone except me. Do you have a problem with me? If so, I would like to resolve it."

Or this could be a manifestation of some of the points you mentioned in your posts in the Astrology section. Maybe relationship challenges or perhaps our old friend Saturn is pushing your buttons.

Or it could be a seasonal challenge for you to rise above your own hurt feelings and feel unconditional goodwill towards Kelly. Not easy, but if it were easy then it would not be a challenge.

Merry Christmas.

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Old 26-12-2019, 03:41 PM
Jyotir Jyotir is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by iamthat
Or it could be a seasonal challenge for you to rise above your own hurt feelings and feel unconditional goodwill towards Kelly. Not easy, but if it were easy then it would not be a challenge.
In that case it would be a very valuable gift.

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Old 29-12-2019, 12:12 AM
Ordnael Ordnael is offline
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 251
The same thing happened to me last year, at my brother's house. He bought Christmas gifts to everyone except me. I'm not easily affected, but I certainly felt excluded. He showed signs that he was upset for what he did, but I didn't mind it. I had brought him a metal can with holes in it so that he could put some poison inside to take care of pests.

Now this year his son (my nephew) invited me to his marriage. I told my relatives I didn't want to go. My nephew came here with his wife saying they wanted me to be there. They never visit me, understandably though, I'm a hermit, a recluse. They insisted so much that I consented, but in the end didn't show up, this is not something I would normally do, I like to keep my word.

Well, I kept the first word. It wasn't a revenge or anything, I just don't feel like I'm supposed to betray myself to please others. The less consideration they have for me, the less consideration I will have for them.

Aside from that, I'm in good terms with everyone, I believe we as people should strive to live peacefully among ourselves, and if they have a problem with me, it is their problem, not mine. Haven't seen my brother and his family in a long time.
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