anyone ever tried methods of bringing things to a head and did they work

[Xan]

Well, D.E... It sounds to me like you keep trying to 'second guess' this person... trying to get hints about what she means and what she feels.

Any relationship with another person depends on getting to know them as they are... not as we imagine they might be.

How about just spending a little time with her off the dance floor... buy her a coke or something, and have a little casual chat.


Xan

I suggested to her exactly that xan and she seemed uncomfortable

before when we danced 2 dances, she said,catch up later but never did

I went to the cafeteria, to find her but felt such crazy levels of fear when I saw her chatting to another guy, I backed away

I later told her, i was hoping to catch up with her and she said, " we are catching up now" so I didn't push it

she also said "well I was there for a while" and sounded a little irritated but owing to my fear, I thought she could have helped me out a bit by signalling maybe

she has also neglected to tell me she is seeing someone though mutal freind, thinks it is not the romance of the century and seemed to hint, she had said this

she stares at me a helluava lot for someone, while she is dancing with other people who just sees me as dance partner


my feelings are real but it is probably one sided and all in my head

though I did feel a tearings sensation the evening we kinda fell out and it was unbelivable

the following 2 weeks, she dissapered from ceroc

She seems uncomfortable because she's not ready to aknowledge what you two have, but she DOES feel it. Things aren't going to change until she's forced to aknowledge her feelings and I think the best route is to leave the dance group.....or just find another one......unless you can handle the 'dance' she has you involved in. But considering how you are going on anti-depressants, I imagine this isn't any easier for you.

If you choose to find another dance group, you can always give her the option of staying in touch if she so chooses, like on the last day you choose to go, set her aside and say, "I'm leaving this group. I thought we got along well (maybe keep it light) so if you want to stay in touch, this is my e-mail address." Then the ball is in her court. She may or may not give your hers in return, but if she does, I would refrain from contacting her because if you continue to make overtures, she's going to feel "safe." Like you aren't going anywhere.

Yeah. I know. You can't run from the connection and it won't go away even if she's out of sight. But if she knows that she can't see you every time she wants to, its going to occur to her that you might move on (or try to) and that might compell her to do some soul searching.

Have you gotten that book yet?!

Originally Posted by Dharma Employee

the following 2 weeks, she dissapered from ceroc

Wait. She dissapeared..........and never returned?
Thats a runner for you. Don't feel bad for taking the initiative. Its easy to probably want to blame yourself thinking you moved to quick and pushed her away but really.........even if you didn't speak to her, she probably would have disappeared regardless. My twin and I e-mailed back and forth and didn't even flirt at all. We talked about our common interests and just when I thought we were clicking, he completely just cut off contact. It wasn't something I did. He just wasn't ready to face the connection. But he's now nearing the point where he is. Sometimes you just need to give them time.

Disregard my last post because I typed all that and posted it before reading the last part of yours. I'm sorry.

no she came back to ceroc st albans after I sought her out at ijig, hatfield

I aplogised and said "I am sorry for being off with you"

and she said what was wrong with you

and I said, I can't really tell you, which given I have aksed her out twice, was acting out of protection


she did look at me a handful of ocassions, that evening and at one point, looked like she was literally straining to hear what I was telling another girl whilst I was dancing with her, as I was telling her, what had happened and maybe she heard the odd thing

I saw again at the dance on saturday, at IJIG, that night my breathing was funny and she remarked my hands were cold, asked how I was as I looked a bit knocked out, we connected briefly with a crazy laugh and brief chat and then she seem to shut down again

she also seemed to be calming her breath while dancing,though can't prove this

the following week, she was back at ceroc

she has as son so maybe, it was the start of the school terms september 9th and 16th that caused her not to be there, but it just seemed funny, that, "she said "you looked at me like i did something wrong" and then dissapeared for 2 weeks

that night I couldnt sleep, stop thinking about her and was crying and felt a tear like you wouldnt believe, within 5 days, i had to call in sick for work and go on anti depressants ( the night of the september 2nd was the night when I felt the blast of energy from her base chakra while she was dancing with me which could have been the auric hook, that I late felt ripped from me, she seem to glow, when this happened for a few seconds, but most would say I confused the lights, but it didnt seem or feel that way, especially as the I thought I could feel energgy moving down from the 3rd or 4th layer of her aura downwards, before the blast, I experienced

I obvioulsy would not tell her this stuff about blasts of energy




(and unbeknownst to me at the time, she is seeing soemone, though has never told me of this, I just found this out last week)

what was interesting is that ceroc goes on till 11pm and I think she lives either in hatfield or st albans

this week, was the 2nd week I have been absent and at about 11.25 which could have been when she got home, I felt this wave of tears again,

for the moment, I am not going there, it felt better to not go and take a break

regarding the book, I felt like chinning the postman today

the sound of paper thing envelopes, hitting my mat is really doing my head in

I yearn for a more substansial thud, which I never hear

they despatched it on the sep 28th and it is coming from the states, emailed the seller, and they told me 2- 3 weeks so hopefully at some point before the next ice age

Yeah. I live in the states and couldn't find the book in stores so I had to order it too. But I don't think it took as long to be there.

I know what you mean though.....about feeling the waves of tears. One time I did, it came out of no where.

Did you ever read Steve Gunn's article on "Soul Shock?" Thats actually what the first chapter of the book is about......although in the book, its a bit longer. Here it is:
http://www.articlealley.com/article_17081_35.html

[mystical]

lady , i have just gone to the link u have just posted :((((((( and has had me in tears because this has just bought back all the pain i felt i had forgiotten but has showed me that altho the ego was controlling me i knew deep down what was really happening , an amazing and accurate piece of work written here

well yeah read that excerpt before

felt very much more me because I am no longer going to ceroc for the moment, which feels like I am taking my power back but then it occured to me, that I have not felt much of anything today and have not like others, here, actually had anything of real relationship with this woman

maybe she is feeling cool too, and that is why

or maybe I am just making it all up and just experienced an intense response to someone and now it has fizzled out

I am trying to come off the anti d to see if it was just a tempoary flare up

I did visualise cutting the cords a few weeks back and felt terrrible initially and my skin felt smothered in a kind of clammy invisible residue for a few days, afterward, actually felt it being washed off with bath and shower

and when I next saw her, energy level was very different

maybe I am just making this all up

Ic ant forget the cord tear, the clammy residue, the tears and the magnestising feeling, perhaps if I go back to dance class and feel something when I see her, that wil be a good means test

but today , feel very centred in me, it seems

Just so ya know.....many (like myself) find their twins and feel everything even without being in an official relationship. That's not necessary.

Also....you are NOT imagining any of this. The energy is real. The pain is real. The love is real. It's not manufactured by the imagination. And even if you don't feel much today, that doesn't mean you won't tomorrow, or a week for now. Sometimes the energies ebb and flow. I used to think because I didn't feel him strongly (or at all) that it was gone. I was wrong.

Originally Posted by LadyImpreza1111

Just so ya know.....many (like myself) find their twins and feel everything even without being in an official relationship. That's not necessary.

Also....you are NOT imagining any of this. The energy is real. The pain is real. The love is real. It's not manufactured by the imagination. And even if you don't feel much today, that doesn't mean you won't tomorrow, or a week for now. Sometimes the energies ebb and flow. I used to think because I didn't feel him strongly (or at all) that it was gone. I was wrong.

So true. :)

Off topic, but this experience just makes me grin at what an amazing world we live in. Unreal.