Feeling like you are different than everyone.

[Captain]

There are many possible reasons some of us don't bond easily others:

1. Difficult childhood and you needed to withdraw due to moving frequently, dysfunctional or absent parents.
2. Genuine and aware living in a superficial culture. I was just in Taiwan visiting friends, what a lovely culture there....I could have made many new friends if I lived there. That's how I feel about most Asian cultures and I find the west just a little too self-absorbed for my comfort zone.
3. Where you live, I live in the most remote part of the most remote island chain in the world where there is a high turnover resident rate. But things have unfolded for me here and seem to continue to do so. So I'm here, in the middle of nowhere and my 2 closest friends just moved away this past year, one after the other and I had a falling out with my 3rd close friend a few months later. Great social life went down the tube completely. I have other friends but for some reason they don't invite single friends over to join their families for the holidays or they fly off somewhere.

What has happened since then? When I don't resist the changes, don't judge myself as being unworthy, accept that all this sudden loss is in the flow and trust the higher power in me has a plan, it's get's good it get's real good.

I've had some amazing spiritual breakthroughs since then, feels like I've reached a new plateau, a very amazing one at that and I know how to get back to it.

One of my 2 friends that moved called me yesterday to say she and her husband did not make their flights, she's a flight attendant and they travel standby on their own time. Can't get here as we planned for the holidays...Xmas eve, Xmas, New Years and a trip to another island together.

If I embrace it, don't worry, don't scramble to get invited elsewhere, if I simply accept it and turn to the spiritual world I find immense peace. I went to a party last night, a guru from India was there, we were introduced, our mutual friends who have a house nearby but only come for short trips, wanted the guru and I to know one another. After a while I felt very transcendent, a complete and new high. What a treat!

That's my challenge, don't judge myself, accept the humility of being alone and trust the higher power wants me to maintain this new plateau and I will most likely be alone-ish until then. It's lonely and scary at time but glorious and complete at times when I accept and don't judge my circumstances.

I have always thought that when you find yourself alone, it is time to make friends with yourself and your higher self or God. It means there are blessings waiting for you. Good luck!

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by Olivia13

On occasion I find others that are somewhat similar (it is very rare)...but still, in the end I think you just have to appreciate it and have gratitude for it (the different feeling). Even though at times it can appear and feel lonely, it is a gift. That's what I believe anyway.
Would you rather live the other way... really?
I wouldn't! Even though I get frustrated at times and feel just like you. ((Hugs))

Good point! Thank you for reminding me of that.

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by Lord_Viskey

I'm reminded of that old Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan movie, "City of Angels" where all the angels met on the ocean shore to listen to the dawn ... too bad those of us seeking spiritual camaraderie couldn't "gravitate" to our own peaceful location at the same moment to get to know one another.

Haven't seen it but I will tonight. :)

Sounds so nice. I often stop on my way home at the waters edge.
No one is ever there! I watch a lot of sunsets on my own and in daylight just watch the waves. . I feel I have more in common with the earth than people much of the time. Earth isn't distracted from who it is, earth listens to its inner guidance. :)

I send "friends" pictures of some of the incredible beauty but it would be better to share it with people who get it.
My very wonderful husband has gone with me a time or two but like he can't really see me, he misses what it is I see when I watch the ever changing kaleidoscope of colour when the sunsets on the water.

Next life I'm told my entire soul group will all be here so next time. :)
Unless you see me sitting by the water. Then feel free to come listen to the dawn....usually dusk ;) with me.

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by Jon-Pax

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that now we're not alone. Orson wells
I guess relate though I went to 15 diff countries before I was 15 so growing up I found I had to walk around on egg shells and play aloof just being around most every one
I like you find it easy to make connections with anyone but feel after time bored and like I've wasted my energy to be blunt and that's the truth of it i am in most cases
I remember osho spoke of aloneness a lot and found this quote
I have always been alone on my path. Even today I am absolutely alone. Your being here does not make any difference – my aloneness remains untouched – because aloneness is so intrinsic. Nobody can enter into your aloneness. You can be in the crowd and absolutely alone, but you may be alone and not alone at all. You can sit in a cave in the Himalayas and still think of the crowd, of the girlfriend and the boyfriend and the marketplace and what is going on there….
Look him up its all he really spoke of
At the end of the day u r unique as is all of nature feeling different is just recognition of that to me but then we are all in the same boat and most of us who ponder such things I would I imagine feel the same thing at the end of the day

Jon-pax ........ You said 3 things that make me think you live a similar the experience as my sc.
He says the quote about born alone die alone.... Makes me want to smack him a bit because we don't have to be alone if we fight the program. I except NOTHING. I will fight till my last breath. The world is messed up by programming that's why we are alone. We can change it.

He also acts aloof, mixes easy but gets bored with people easy. I get that though I don't get bored.. I just do not feel a pull to invest my time with them because I know they do not have what I seek.. I don't feel I get anything out of it, so it's a waste to spend to much time on those contacts. Do what I can, recognize their beauty, keep doing life.

Curious is that why you get bored or is it different? I actually enjoy osho. Mostly his understanding of love, how he too couldn't follow the dogma, about the need to be free. I wouldn't agree with him we are all intrinsically alone though... Years ago I would have but I met a SAME. We both no longer feel completely alone, just don't get to share much time in life together so I crave more SAME-ish people in my life, a tribe. I believe I crave it because it's what I'm suppose to follow. Follow my truth till it leads me where I need to be, not alone.

Thank you for posting. Hope I didn't come across as disagreeing with you. I just wish my sc wasn't so apt to accept the alone stuff. It's a choice to follow the program in my opinion. i hate to think of him, or you or anyone accepting that there is no choice but to accept things we don't like. Things change every day, this can change too.

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by Anne

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

Henry David Thoreau

I have never heard that but it is truly beautiful and it made me feel better about my separateness. I do hear their music. I just hear my own music and I like it so much better. :) thank you for that!

[TheGlow]

D

Originally Posted by Captain

2. Genuine and aware living in a superficial culture. I was just in Taiwan visiting friends, what a lovely culture there....I could have made many new friends if I lived there. That's how I feel about most Asian cultures and I find the west just a little too self-absorbed for my comfort zone
......,
I've had some amazing spiritual breakthroughs since then, feels like I've reached a new plateau, a very amazing one at that and I know how to get back to it.
......

If I embrace it, don't worry, don't scramble to get invited elsewhere, if I simply accept it and turn to the spiritual world I find immense peace. I went to a party last night, a guru from India was there, we were introduced, our mutual friends who have a house nearby but only come for short trips, wanted the guru and I to know one another. After a while I felt very transcendent, a complete and new high. What a treat!

That's my challenge, don't judge myself, accept the humility of being alone and trust the higher power wants me to maintain this new plateau and I will most likely be alone-ish until then. It's lonely and scary at time but glorious and complete at times when I accept and don't judge my circumstances.

!

I don't think you could find a more superficial place than where I am. Seriously I like most people and can find something in all of them that is beautiful. But quickly they get sucked in to focusing on the material egoic existence that is so prevalent in the mostly soulless wealthy North American areas. Poof they are gone back into the matrix.

As to your last point. I thought of this last night. If I had to many close connections here we would likely never crawl out of exploring each other to delv deeper into ourselves. Still a few more couldn't hurt ;)

[wolfgaze]

Here's some food for thought...

Have you ever thought about how when you are in a social setting - you really don't express or advertise the full extent of your awareness (including your deepest thoughts, (spiritual) beliefs, perceptions, etc). The notion that what others observe in your presence is typically a small portion of all that exists within you below the surface. So this begs the question - how much can others really tell about you (the real you) when you are in their presence and interacting with them? How we can they really judge you and make an accurate determination about your whole nature? Do we not all wear a mask to some extent and filter our outward expression to some degree based on the feedback we receive from others or how we perceive they would react to our revealing certain aspects of ourselves? If we recognize that we are doing this - then it stands to reason that others in your presence may be operating in a similar fashion... And we should ask how accurately can we really know the depth of another person in our presence who is engaging in the same practices that we employ in social settings? I guess what I'm trying to say is that just as others may be unaware of the depth of you awareness and the depth of your nature based on how you carry yourself in their presence - we may also be unaware of the depth of others awareness and nature. People do not show all their cards, figuratively speaking. And many of us tend to act like chameleons and conform to our immediate (social) environment out of an inclination not to create awkwardness or uncomfortable exchanges/interactions. So there is the possibility that you may have much more in common with some of these individuals that you cross paths with than you are aware of and realize.

I will say from my personal experience that I do not speak openly with friends or family about my spiritual beliefs, my spiritual experiences, or the 'awakening' that I went through over a period of years. Only one person in my family knows these details. If another family member or my friends were to somehow broach this subject matter and ask me some personal questions - I of course would answer honestly and open up... But I do not volunteer this information because I cannot ascertain how receptive others would be of it and I really don't feel like creating any strain in these relationships or generating disconnects where if I deem it to be unnecessary. So while evaluating my own disposition and inclinations, I have to allow for the possibility that I may have relatives and friends in my life who have had similar experiences or share similar perceptions/beliefs/feelings - but neither of us would ever know that because we don't find ourselves in a situation where this information is easily revealed/divulged. If a 3rd party (person) were to ask my friends/relatives if 'wolfgaze' is a spiritually-minded individual - they would rightfully answer "No" or "I have no idea" because they have never spoken about these matters to them nor expressed this side of myself in their presence. They don't know that side of me - through no fault of their own. If they don't know this about me then could it also be true that I might not know much the same about others?

If/when I attend a party or social gathering - I just blend in and adjust myself to that environment & circumstances... Some others may be doing just the same and as a result no one finds themselves 'going there' when it comes to engaging in deeper and more meaningful exchanges and interaction... So I will suggest that there may be some degree of cognitive or perceptual bias involved when it comes to assessing the depth and level of awarenesss of those whom we interact with. We may in fact be much more similar with certain others than we are aware of... Is anyone else following me here?

For the time being - I have found that it is through the medium of the internet that I have encountered and interacted with individuals who I've discovered to be like-minded and similar to me.... Yeah it would be nice to find individuals like this who can be physically present in your everyday life - but that seems like a challenging endeavor from this vantage point.

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by wolfgaze

Here's some food for thought...

Have you ever thought about how when you are in a social setting - you really don't express or advertise the full extent of your awareness (including your deepest thoughts, (spiritual) beliefs, perceptions, etc). The notion that what others observe in your presence is typically a small portion of all that exists within you below the surface. So this begs the question - how much can others really tell about you (the real you) when you are in their presence and interacting with them? How we can they really judge you and make an accurate determination about your whole nature? Do we not all wear a mask to some extent and filter our outward expression to some degree based on the feedback we receive from others or how we perceive they would react to our revealing certain aspects of ourselves? If we recognize that we are doing this - then it stands to reason that others in your presence may be operating in a similar fashion... And we should ask how accurately can we really know the depth of another person in our presence who is engaging in the same practices that we employ in social settings? I guess what I'm trying to say is that just as others may be unaware of the depth of you awareness and the depth of your nature based on how you carry yourself in their presence - we may also be unaware of the depth of others awareness and nature. People do not show all their cards, figuratively speaking. And many of us tend to act like chameleons and conform to our immediate (social) environment out of an inclination not to create awkwardness or uncomfortable exchanges/interactions. So there is the possibility that you may have much more in common with some of these individuals that you cross paths with than you are aware of and realize.

I will say from my personal experience that I do not speak openly with friends or family about my spiritual beliefs, my spiritual experiences, or the 'awakening' that I went through over a period of years. Only one person in my family knows these details. If another family member or my friends were to somehow broach this subject matter and ask me some personal questions - I of course would answer honestly and open up... But I do not volunteer this information because I cannot ascertain how receptive others would be of it and I really don't feel like creating any strain in these relationships or generating disconnects where if I deem it to be unnecessary. So while evaluating my own disposition and inclinations, I have to allow for the possibility that I may have relatives and friends in my life who have had similar experiences or share similar perceptions/beliefs/feelings - but neither of us would ever know that because we don't find ourselves in a situation where this information is easily revealed/divulged. If a 3rd party (person) were to ask my friends/relatives if 'wolfgaze' is a spiritually-minded individual - they would rightfully answer "No" or "I have no idea" because they have never spoken about these matters to them nor expressed this side of myself in their presence. They don't know that side of me - through no fault of their own. If they don't know this about me then could it also be true that I might not know much the same about others?

If/when I attend a party or social gathering - I just blend in and adjust myself to that environment & circumstances... Some others may be doing just the same and as a result no one finds themselves 'going there' when it comes to engaging in deeper and more meaningful exchanges and interaction... So I will suggest that there may be some degree of cognitive or perceptual bias involved when it comes to assessing the depth and level of awarenesss of those whom we interact with. We may in fact be much more similar with certain others than we are aware of... Is anyone else following me here?

For the time being - I have found that it is through the medium of the internet that I have encountered and interacted with individuals who I've discovered to be like-minded and similar to me.... Yeah it would be nice to find individuals like this who can be physically present in your everyday life - but that seems like a challenging endeavor from this vantage point.

Very good points. But I don't attempt to blend. I may not always bring up spirituality but I break social norms. I say things I shouldn't and its fine, I do things my way, am super overly open and I express things other people wouldn't dream of saying. It goes fine. All my life I could float in and out of groups not attempting to blend. I can't be untrue to myself.

So while others might just be hiding and wearing mask, they still aren't like me because I can't wear a mask. I won't hide. What good does it do the world to stay hidden. How do things change then.

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by TheGlow

Very good points. But I don't attempt to blend. I may not always bring up spirituality but I break social norms. I say things I shouldn't and its fine, I do things my way, am super overly open and I express things other people wouldn't dream of saying. It goes fine. All my life I could float in and out of groups not attempting to blend. I can't be untrue to myself.

So while others might just be hiding and wearing mask, they still aren't like me because I can't wear a mask. I won't hide. What good does it do the world to stay hidden. How do things change then.

Well maybe 'blend' wasn't the right term for what I was trying to convey but sometimes I find myself in social settings where I'm surrounded by others who may be interested in and discussing things which don't appeal to me and which I don't identify with (anymore)... I don't pretend to be interested or try to conform to others' behavior - but I do have a more laid back and reserved approach to that type of environment. I respect that others may feel differently than me and I don't seek to change how they feel and what they identify with. I do often feel like I'm around others who are all on the same wavelength and I'm on my own - but I've become accustomed to feeling that way over the years...

By 'blend in' I simply meant adapting to your environment... I know there are some individuals who have completely alienated themselves from their friends & family due to their insistance on trying to more or less push their newfound beliefs/discoveries/perceptions onto others around them and have them be acknowledged & accepted. That doesn't work and frequently creates tension/strain/turmoil. I pick & choose when I speak up about certain things and when I opt to remain quiet... Some individuals are more receptive and open-minded to certain discussions than others. I choose not to engage when my intuition tells me it will not be productive...

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by wolfgaze

Well maybe 'blend' wasn't the right term for what I was trying to convey but sometimes I find myself in social settings where I'm surrounded by others who may be interested in and discussing things which don't appeal to me and which I don't identify with (anymore)... I don't pretend to be interested or try to conform to others' behavior - but I do have a more laid back and reserved approach to that type of environment. I respect that others may feel differently than me and I don't seek to change how they feel and what they identify with. I do often feel like I'm around others who are all on the same wavelength and I'm on my own - but I've become accustomed to feeling that way over the years...

By 'blend in' I simply meant adapting to your environment... I know there are some individuals who have completely alienated themselves from their friends & family due to their insistance on trying to more or less push their newfound beliefs/discoveries/perceptions onto others around them and have them be acknowledged & accepted. That doesn't work and frequently creates tension/strain/turmoil. I pick & choose when I speak up about certain things and when I opt to remain quiet... Some individuals are more receptive and open-minded to certain discussions than others. I choose not to engage when my intuition tells me it will not be productive...

Ah I get what you are saying. No I don't push beliefs and stuff either, nothing like having someone preach at you to drive ya crazy. :)

I do often bring up more philosophical, or introspective topics of discussion though. Mostly because that is what I want to know about people. The real stuff that defines them. im just kinda quirky too and there is just no hiding that stuff.