I Don't Know Where I Go

I have always had very strange dream my whole life. From night terrors as a child, sleep walking, sleep talking, very accomplished lucid dreamer, you name it. My dreams have always been vivid and symbolic, sometimes dead on and have manged some astral projection some years ago but scared the heck out of me so abandoned it. Recently, though, I have been having some frightful and confusing dreams. I feel vivid and lucid in my dreams but can no longer manipulate things and most definitely I have noticed I have no control over other characters, occasionally others will be lucid as well and this I find disturbing. I will then see shadows or figures in my room when I wake up sometimes and it scares the hell out of me. I am afraid that I have been unintentionally finding a way to astral project in my dreams. I often feel exhausted and not rested when I wake and its like I have been running a marathon I will sweat so bad during those specific dreams only. I can not find much information about this being a possibility but it scares me and I am wondering if anyone else experiences this or knows anything at all.

Move past this fear. We AP all the time, but we seldom remember it. What is scaring you?

[Xanth]

Yup, you'll definitely need to work on that fear thing first. :)

Maybe I should clarify some things, sorry. Fist, I don't want to astral project, not my cup of tea, scares the hell out of me. This is because I am severely traumatized and often have a very difficult time keeping my conscious and unconscious thoughts from going to very dark places, including during astral projection. Secondly, I am confused because I feel like all of the lines between my dreaming world and the astral realm have just been blurred, one second I am fine and enjoying a lucid dream the next I am somewhere dark and negative and I cannot control the other characters any longer and I am always being watched and fallowed by many different entities, I have no trouble getting back (if I truly am projecting) but it has not been a positive experience lately. What is more upsetting are the figures I will then see in my room upon waking up, I have seen them sending around my bed and in the corner but dissipate quickly, they do not feel welcoming. It scare me because I sleep alone with my two year old daughter and I can't find a way to control it or really tell what is happening. I feel crazy saying it, but it feels like something has been fallowing me since these experiences began a few months ago.

[Xanth]

Sounds like you need to take up meditation in an effort to "find yourself"

[Shabda]

dreaming for the most part IS astral projection, but what is it that scares you about astral projection anyways? there IS nothing to fear but fear itself. im curious as to why you feel the need to control other individuals at all? is that so that you feel secure in your surroundings? perhaps your ability to see things upon waking is showing you that your spiritual senses are also awakening, and perhaps the fear yo have is just the shock of realizing that we are never actually alone, despite the fact that many cant see the other beings that are around. the advice the others have given is good advice, determine the origin of your fear and conquer it, be rid of it, fear has never helped anyone.i do know of some techniques that you might find helpful and you are welcome to PM me about those if you wish, also, i know that Xanth has a site dedicated to APing but being that you arent comfortable with that idea, that might not suit you at this time, but definitely try to get rid of the fear...

I thank you all kindly but I do not think I am going to find the advice that I seek here, it would appear there is much misunderstanding.

[Xanth]

Originally Posted by h1015

I thank you all kindly but I do not think I am going to find the advice that I seek here, it would appear there is much misunderstanding.

Might I take a different approach then?

What kind of advice were you looking for?