Some of you May NOT Like this...but HONESTLY...a Married TF?

[alamode]

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

Jesus said "there are no marriages in heaven." Maybe you aren't Christian, and that's okay. Consider that affairs have been happening since the dawn of man, that affairs are universal and across all cultures, developed or undeveloped world, no matter what religion or no religion. Consider that it's only been the last 100 years that humans lived well into their 80s or 90s, and that 100 years ago it was not uncommon at all for people to routinely die young -- and remarry quickly. Consider that marriage used to have nothing to do with love at all, and was only available to those who had money, property, or titles, and in those cases, it was expected that people had discrete affairs. That kings had concubines. Yes, check that out in the Bible: how many wives and how many concubines did Solomon have?

Think about ALL of that, and consider, just consider... that it's MARRIAGE that is not and has never been human nature? That it goes against human nature itself? That we are trying to force humans to fall into social constructs and conventions that they continually fail miserably at, precisely because it's so unnatural.

Consider that what IS natural is uncontrolled passion, serial monogamist relationships lasting around 7 years, monogamy with some discrete affairs on the side, polygamy, polyamory...

Because we are passionate creatures and our biology and nature coax us over and over into temptation... then our minds kick in and nice and neatly rationalize what we do.

As you can see, I don't care much for social conventions. This, however, I DO care about. Don't hurt others. Although, that said, often hurt is unavoidable. If one wants to be released from the marriage, and the other does not want to let go.... what can you do there? Stay and suffer and die? Cheat, and cheat yourself and your own integrity in the process? Break up... and that person STILL gets hurt. Those are the options, particularly when your partner closes the door on the "work with me to fix the marriage" option.

People construct all sorts of fantasies to rationalize their actions/feelings. That is very true. Agree with you there. But, it's also a fantasy that every marriage is worth saving, every marriage is worth lasting until death do us part. And it's also a fantasy that you can walk through this life without ever hurting a single soul. Unfortunately.

And, most importantly, it's a total fantasy that humans are meant to be monogamous to one person their entire life. The evidence shows otherwise.

I agree with all of this above. I couldn't have said it better myself. I was married to someone that I didn't like. The thoughts in my head went over and over "I am dreading spending the rest of my life with him". I met a soul mate. I told him about how I was unhappy with my marriage. That gave us the green light for us to pursue the new relationship. Is that morally wrong that I left the marriage and that my husband felt hurt? Nope. My intention was not to hurt my husband, obviously. As you know, the marriage was already hurting me because I was constantly dreading spending the rest of my life with him. We humans do not need to comform to the social convention so-called "marriage is forever" in order to keep good karma and in order to be morally correct. It is ok to leave a marriage (or long-term relationship) if you don't want it anymore. Am I incurring bad karma for leaving the marriage? I don't think so. Did I do something morally wrong by leaving the marriage? I don't think so. Marriage doesn't mean anything to me other than a legal title with a one-day ceremony that you get a paper for. I can be in a relationship without the marriage label and have that relationship be much more productive and meaningful than a "marriage" relationship.

[alamode]

Originally Posted by Nada

What is the point of relationship/marriage in that case?
Just be a single and free to be with anybody else.
Why bother with a relationship or marriage?

Title, social status, citizenship, inheritance, money, security....I can think of lots of reasons people marry other than for being in a loving monogomous relationship, lol.

I flippin hurt my brain thinking about this topic 24 hours now , it's been rattling about in the back of brain...festering.

OK your in Love... Cool... Your in Love with someone that's already married .. Equally cool... So long as you don't act on it physically.. Because Physical aint necessarily love.. Its carnal...Lust... Confusing lust with Love is indeed a problem... I'm married a long time now.. Yet I feel in love with many others and relate to many others on a very profound and resomamt level.. Even some here at SF will know that I Love you and that you make my heart sing when i talk with you... I am not however going to desert my wife because I love you.. Its a bit more complex... Not just because your Aquarius or like Crystals a lot... No.. I Love you because you are a part of my very own..well ..your very own soul group.

So.. A Frustration, if thats the right word arises between you and your Twin Soul because they are already in a long term relationship. It is Lust yelling and screaming at your heart and most certainly not Love. To be succinct, your probably wanting what someone else has got... Because Love has nothing to do with being with someone. Love can be projected and maybe should be projected with very little or no hope of reciprocation to individuals. Its more expansive.. Like Those Muck Spreaders that farmers use.. Splatter Love Everywhere.. Just like fertilizer and it grows,

Coming back to an even more fatalistic pulse... If a thing is meant to be..It happens .If it aint,, then it does not...Simple bog standard evolutionary math.

Sure , be in love with someone who is already in a relationship as is their destiny. But beating yourself up and churning your gut because they are not with you is in no way love.. Its infatuation or obsession.

In quoting a bloody awful song. "If you cannot live with the one you love, Love the one you are with" But even that is a load of old hogwash... Love whom ever you wish,,, Keep it secret if you must to prevent it from home wrecking.

The Universe(at least in my experience) Seldom gives you what you want , but almost always and without exception gives you what you need. One current you cannot swim against unless you get worn out real quick.

I love a great many of you and know realistically that it is not going to be that i am with you in person..So I content myself with loving you.. Which is what Love is.. Not cosying of a night in front of the fire place and share a drink and some companionship.

( Though I can and do do that astrally but only with the permission of YOUR very own subconscious mind. Those of you who do accept my company astrally, know who you are and know me to be a decent energy )


Back to base ( I'm easily distracted ) I am in love with a good number of you because you are of my soul group..We vibe. Physical companionship is ,was and ever shall be always secondary to that.

Originally Posted by Neville

( Though I can and do do that astrally but only with the permission of YOUR very own subconscious mind. Those of you who do accept my company astrally, know who you are and know me to be a decent energy )
.

Very NICE.
Nonetheless, STILL CHEATING!
Astral cheating!
Does your wife know that you are "astrally cheating" on her?
If she does and is OK with it, I call this "Astral Open Marriage".

Peeps,
If you are going to cheat on your spouse or want to seduce a married person, JUST DO IT and do NOT call it SPIRITUAL.
ADMIT that you are a human being and that your shortcomings allow mistakes.

Hello Nada,
Astral open Marriage LOL

Thankyou for your contribution of whatever you thought it was i was stating

NO I am categorically no cheat, never any infidelity physically or Astrally.. You want to sit down in the mix that we are all a part of and share a cup of tea and a chat(companionship) is in no way cheating on any physical bonds i have formed as they are two entirely different plains... Love is not to be limited to one .. It is to be ethused , even leaked .. If you are full of love you will find it dribbles out a bit anyway.. It starts with Love for family and then spreads.

Love is a contagion. It starts with Love for family and then spreads.

I did say to my Wife that apparently I am an astral cheat , and she said "What ?" Like i said Two different plains///Love is in Astral and physical Lust is carnal and fixes at the physical level...

yay me...I got Love incontinence

I'm being too serious . I apologise..because ultimately none of it matters.

In the mists of quantum leaping(past Lives, Forward lives Astral existences etc) , I have lost count of the significant others and doubtless they have of me.

So its probably worth remebering that we are indeed all in this together.

My Wife now in this Life was a special someone in a previous incarnation, A Catholic during the Protestant Ascension of Elizabeth the Firsts reign who was basically going to the stake who would not renounce her faith. I had to forcibly (using persuasion ) get her to pretend to adopt the Protestant faith and renounce Catholicism. Yeah i shewed her to say a lie to preserve her flesh.

Anyways, those of you who got life and love down to one plain of existence .. Here in 2012 on Earth need ...well maybe not need ..might benefit from understanding that the issues that affect you so very acutely and personally in just this one life are by no means even an iota of what it all is.

Originally Posted by Quest

How have you all achieved higher awareness? Did it come over night or from having been in a constant state of bliss? How have you been able to keep your egos in check without having gone through pain before?

I always had awareness. How? i have no idea, i just did. And even though my job deals with public appearances, im doing a pretty good job at keeping my ego in check, otherwise i wouldn't even be here. Of course i suffered too, but that didn't bring me extra awareness tbh...no one commented anything about being in a permanent state of bliss, that's another extreme.

[Quest]

Krystalle,
what have you learned from going through suffering then?

Neville,
love incontinence I love it!!! I suffer from the same chronic disease

Originally Posted by Nada

Very NICE.
Nonetheless, STILL CHEATING!
Astral cheating!
Does your wife know that you are "astrally cheating" on her?
If she does and is OK with it, I call this "Astral Open Marriage".

Peeps,
If you are going to cheat on your spouse or want to seduce a married person, JUST DO IT and do NOT call it SPIRITUAL.
ADMIT that you are a human being and that your shortcomings allow mistakes.

Oh Dear. I got a bee in my bonnet Nada, I wouldn't normally bother , but I seem to have the feeling that you got some intelligence. From where will become apparent presently I'm sure. But for now i think you are telling Lies.

OKee dokey... The Man and the Wife... The Wife has a thing about Tom Jones , Cliff Richard, Rod Stewart , Bruce Springsteen etc Or is that Spring Bruceteen,, I Dunno.. Mel Gibson..Kevin kostner with a K ... you know..

The fella that that has the Well I dunno Who's considered hot these days..

Are they Cheats ?

Originally Posted by Neville

Two different plains///Love is in Astral and physical Lust is carnal and fixes at the physical level...

yay me...I got Love incontinence

Ha ha Love incontinence, LOL.

LUST is not just at the physical level.
It also exists and carries on in Astral plane as well.
I had experienced emotional and spiritual LUST carrying over and being consummated in the Astral plane. - with my special and precious SC
Astral sex/lust involves emotional longing, spiritual connection, and physical arousals.
Physical sex/lust CAN be only physical senses and biological urging. - although it can also involve emotional and spiritual - but does not have to be.

Therefore, Astral sex/lust is actually MORE cheating than physical sex/lust.

Disclaimer: The above statements are based on my own personal experience and perception. Not judgemental or patronizing comments to others.